


The Same Soul

by EmilyBea



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-15
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2020-05-12 12:54:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 50,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19229551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmilyBea/pseuds/EmilyBea
Summary: Our world AU where Emma and Killian knew each other as teenagers. Killian was sent to spend a summer with family in America. He met foster kid Emma while there. They fell in love but then he was forced back home and she couldn’t take the memories so she ran away, trying her best to move on from the dreams they’d always hoped for. A chance meeting brings them back together years later, and this time nothing and no one will keep them apart.





	1. Chapter 1

**_A/N: Hey all! So it’s been a pretty long time since I dropped a new multi-chapter story, and for good reason. I am still very much working on finishing Lost Souls and I have about a million mixtape prompts to respond to sometime this summer and into the fall. But when inspiration strikes, you have to run with it, and while listening to a song I’ve loved a long time, ‘Same Soul’ by PVRIS, I thought of this AU. It’s set in our world where Emma is a bail bonds person living a lonely life in Boston. She and Killian met years ago, there were definite fireworks, but fate kept them apart. Now, years later, fate steps in again reuniting them. For the rest, you’ll have to read and see. Anyway thanks so much for taking the time and hope you all enjoy!!_ **

“Listen Lady, I told you before, you got the wrong guy! That shit that happened, whatever it is the cops are spinning, it wasn’t me. You hear me? Hey! I’m talking to you.”

_Yeah, unfortunately for me._

Emma did her best to try and drown out the noise currently emanating from the back of her car. It was hard work seeing as how the perp she’d picked up for jumping bail this time was one of the biggest whiners she had ever had the displeasure of bringing in. But at the end of the day this was manageable. In just a few more minutes they’d get to the courthouse and she would pick up a big fat check for all the trouble of interacting with this asshole. He was a big fish in a big city, and according to court records the state had him on the line for not one, not two, but twenty-five stolen luxury vehicles. And how had he done that? Simple – by preying on unsuspecting marks who thought he was the valet, or an assistant, or just a garden variety good Samaritan. Emma surprised a snort at even the thought of the last one. This guy was so obviously rotten to the core that she could smell his shit from a mile away, and despite his repeated denials, August Booth had been a very busy guy this summer.

“Okay I get it, you’re doing this for the money. Hell I respect that. You’re a regular entrepreneur. So what would it take? 10 grand? 20? I can get you that. All you gotta do is let me go.”

Now Emma really had to laugh. This idiot really thought so little of her. Didn’t he realize she’d been tracking him for a full week, and that in order to do that she’d had to do a deep dive not just into his personal life and habits, but also every last trace of his financial capabilities? He had no way in hell of making good on this offer, and yet he continued to lie and beg like it would somehow sway her.

“Seriously, I know people, and I’m good for the money. No one even has to know that you helped me out. Just pull over, undo these cuffs and I’ll get you the dough.” 

“The dough?” Emma asked, incredulous and yet somewhat amused by how dissociated this guy seemed to be. “Who even says that? This isn’t a mafia movie from the 70s. You conned a bunch of people, stole a bunch of shit, and then skipped bail. I don’t care about the money that I know you don’t have, or the guys you think you know who are supposedly going to help you out of this. You’re not just a skip – you’re a bad guy. I’m not about to just let you go.”

“Aw fuck,” the man said from the back, his whole persona deflating as the realization finally dawned on him that she couldn’t be bought off so easily. “You’re one of those do gooders. Damn it! Just my luck.”

Emma didn’t bother to correct him even though she was hardly a ‘do-gooder’ as he’d so scathingly labeled her. Instead she reminded herself that talking to this man was nothing but a waste of time. Honestly, talking to most men felt like a waste of time, and at the end of the day, every man tended to show their true colors one way or another, and none of them ever appealed to her when they did. They might hide themselves well in the beginning, but no matter what men always seemed to find a way to fail to meet even the most baseline of expectations.

_Except for Killian. He never let me down. He always did his best by me._

The thought was automatic as it rang out through her mind, and Emma’s immediate instinct was to miss him, which was crazy. Killian was a man – nay a boy – that she’d known more than ten years ago. She was sixteen the summer she met him, and though the thought was honest (he had, in fact, always been so good to her), it was also irrelevant. That was a whole lifetime ago. Hell, it felt like dozens of lifetimes ago. So much had changed. She was no longer the same person, and she had to imagine he was no longer the same either. Still, she wondered if that was true. Here she was writing off men in their entirety, but one possible outlier still remained.

“Get it together, Emma. You’re better than this.”

She whispered the words aloud under her breath, a common tactic to shift her thoughts from yesteryear that she’d developed as time went by. She had to pivot her thinking, and talking to herself, however strange, always seemed to help her do that quickly. The only problem was she still had an audience, and she’d totally forgotten that, only remembering when her perp responded to her with a pointed question that made her jump.

“So you _are_ considering my proposition?” 

“Hell no,” Emma rebutted, her eyes automatically rolling at the level of stupid that kept coming from this guy’s mouth. “I’m dropping you off, collecting my check, and then promptly forgetting you even exist.”

“Then what are better than?” Booth asked, his face shifting from hopeful to something a bit more sinister. Emma could see him trying to calculate an angle, no doubt aimed at manipulating her into letting him go. People didn’t get so far in running cons like he did without having that ability to play off a person’s weaknesses. “Sounds like you have a lot on your conscience Emma. Something weighing heavily on you? An old regret perhaps?”

“That’s none of your business,” Emma said with as much calm as she could muster, thankful as she rounded the corner and sidled up to the courthouse. She parked her car and opened the back door, not surprised that her guilty guest was less than interested in complying. He remained seated, and Emma tried to anticipate if he was going to play the dead weight card or try to make a run for it. “We can either do this the easy way or the hard way. But fair warning, the hard way is also the painful way.”

“Yeah right – like you’re going to hurt me somehow.”

“I took you down didn’t I?” Emma asked, her hand moving to her hip as she raised a brow at him. How fickle some people’s memories were. Clearly he’d forgotten the finer details of her apprehending him, including the part where he started running across the pizza joint she’d found him at and she stopped him by pushing a chair in his way, causing him to trip and fall with a crash to the ground. 

“You got lucky. Bet you can’t do that twice.”

“Yeah, maybe. But see the thing is I don’t need luck, because I have this.” She pulled out her trusty tazer from the pocket of her red leather jacket and just because this guy was pissing her off, she fired it up, letting the buzz of the electricity start to circulate as a spark jumped visibly before them. “So let me ask this again. Are you going to get smart, or am I about to have a lot more fun than I bargained for?”

“All right, all right! Jeez, you really are crazy,” he exclaimed, getting up from the car and allowing her to maneuver him into the side door where on the lam defendants were deposited.

“That’s what they all say,” Emma sighed dramatically. “You could at least go for something more original.”

There was no reason to bother with goodbyes once Emma was inside. She’d meant what she said before; she absolutely planned to get her money and immediately forget about this low life. With minimal fuss she handed Booth over to the officers at the scene and then moved to the administrative desk to collect her skip amount and put yet another successful catch down on her record.

“Damn, Emma! Are you serious right now? The earliest person on the office pool said Boothe would be at least a month long hunt. The BPD has been yammering on about his connections and underground network, but you make this look so easy.”

The words of praise came from Ruby, a sassy and sarcastic worker here who Emma always seemed to get along with. She wouldn’t call them friends per se, but they understood each other, and Emma was always willing to engage with her a little more than the others who worked here at the courthouse. Ruby had a good sense of humor, and she too seemed to genuinely understand the less than stellar nature of the average man too, which came up a lot when Emma dropped off her fugitives. 

“What can I say? I was born for this.”

“Born to be a bail bonds person?” Ruby asked with a laugh. “Hardly. I still think you should be using those skills elsewhere. You’d make a great cop, or sheriff, maybe FBI. Or ooh – CIA! I can totally see you as a spy. You’d lure them all in with a little black dress and then you’d take down them down, and a whole country with it." 

“Eh, sounds like a lot of work,” Emma said with a shake of her head. “Besides, we both know no one else in this city is as good at this as me. What would the greater Boston area even do without me?”

“Good point,” Ruby acknowledged. “You’re practically the savior. Or the garbage collector. God I can’t believe some of these people. Like Booth – no morals. He stole a car from an elderly couple at a hospital. A hospital! It’s disgusting,” Ruby said with a shiver, and Emma absolutely agreed. It was heinous, but unfortunately not the worst crimes she’d ever heard of around these parts. “Anyway let’s get your forms all filled out. I know how the savior really operates – you’re probably jonesing to be alone.”

Emma offered a friendly smile, but even the off-handed turn of phrase sparked something in her. Jones. That was Killian’s last name and now that was twice that she’d thought about someone who should have long ago been forgotten. What was with her today? It wasn’t totally unheard of for her to think of him, but still. This was a lot – and yet she couldn’t help thinking that it wasn’t enough.

“If you want my advice though, you should really stick around. There’s a new ADA here today, I guess he’s heading that children’s advocacy unit that the Governor installed last month, and he is hot – hot – HOT,” Ruby proclaimed without a care in the world as she fanned himself. 

“I didn’t think you went for hot shot lawyers,” Emma teased, knowing that based on the guys who came in here claiming to want her attention after a night or two of her time, a lawyer would not be Ruby’s usual cup of tea. “Not enough tattoos to pass the Ruby Lucas standard.”

“I know, I know. Sadly I’m more likely to find a match on the wrong side of the bars in here. It’s really terrible. I wish they made something to cure that.”

“Extensive therapy?” Emma offered and Ruby shook her head.

“Nah I’m thinking tequila. Speaking of, some of the girls from my apartment building are going out this weekend. You should come with us.”

Emma was stunned at the offer. This was an escalation in terms of attempts at friendship made by Ruby and Emma didn’t know how she felt about that. She knew she liked Ruby and that she was a good person with a good sense of humor, but she didn’t really do the whole ‘friends’ thing. Emma was a loner and that was sort of all she knew.

“Let me stop you before you tell me something like ‘I don’t want to intrude’ or ‘I might be busy.’ You _are_ coming out with us, and you’re going to have fun. It’s a great bar near Fenway – hidden enough so we don’t have to deal with tourists, but a good vibe all around. We’ll drink, we’ll eat, we’ll talk shit about celebrities or whatever and you will love it, even if you hate it at first.”

“You sound awfully convinced that this is happening.”

“I am. I know you’re guarded, Emma, but I’m not looking to break down any walls or anything. This is just fun, and when’s the last time you really had fun?”

It had been forever since Emma could recall a time when she was more than just content or surviving. Fun was a foreign concept to her, and in her life as a foster kid and then an independent adult, she had very few glimpses in her past that a normal person would consider enjoyable. It was for this reason that she was hesitant to commit to anything, but her gut, the intuition that she always trusted, was talkative in this moment, and it told her to give this a try even if it scared her just a little bit.

“Okay, I’ll go,” Emma said, prompting an excited squeal from Ruby. Before her new friend could get any ideas Emma put her hand up in physical warning. “But I will not be talking about my feelings and I am not getting blindly set up, so if this an attempt at doing that you better squash that idea now. We clear?”

“Crystal,” Ruby said with glee. She gave Emma the details of where they were going, and looked like she was about to talk more about the impending outing when something caught her gaze across the way. “Oh shit, incoming! Hot lawyer guy at two o’clock." 

An announcement like that would usually never mean much to Emma. She didn’t get worked up over the prospect of a hot guy, but before she turned she felt her stomach flutter slightly, a very unfamiliar feeling for as of late. It was strange and unexpected, but nothing could compare to the feelings that slammed into her all at once and she saw who was standing there, talking to one of the bailiffs outside of the courtroom.

“Killian?” Her voice was barely a whisper, and Emma didn’t even mean to say his name aloud at all, but she knew she must have when Ruby replied.

“Oh my god, do you know him?! You really do work fast, honey. He like _just_ got here. This is his first day in the courtroom, and from what I hear he’s already killing it.”

Emma had no ability to respond to that information even though she craved more on a cellular level. She was consumed with so many thoughts and wants and emotions. Could this really be Killian? He was so different, so altered. The boy she knew was just that – a boy – but this man… Holy crap he was hot! Ruby had not been exaggerating, but it was more than just attraction. Emma could see in his mannerisms and from the easy smile that he had with a man who must be a relative stranger that he was still good and kind. It made her knees tremble to behold him in all the glory of this suit and with the swagger and confidence of a damn good attorney. Then he turned to her and she was totally lost, and after only the briefest moment of worry that he wouldn’t remember her, he eased her every fear on the subject.

“Emma?” he said, excusing himself immediately from the bailiff’s company as he walked towards her.

_Oh shit! Oh shit! He’s coming this way. What do I do? What do I say? Ahh!_

“Uh, hi,” was all she could come up with and she almost groaned at how basic that was. If someone could die of mortification, Emma was currently coming close to such a deadly level. She hadn’t felt this way since she was a girl, and she couldn’t tell if she loathed it or kind of loved it.

“I can’t believe it’s you. What are you doing here? How did you – I mean where did you…?”

Killian’s questions trailed off as his gaze took her in. He hid nothing from her, and the deep cerulean eyes she’d always loved and dreamed of for years traced her features with undeniable longing. She could get lost in the intensity of his expression, and again she was struck by how impossibly handsome he was, but this moment was made all the more breathtaking when she noticed how glad he was to see her again. He was more than happy, and he even seemed relieved, as if somehow, all this time, he’d been looking for her. The thought made her heart pound in her chest because she herself had considered looking for him for ages. It was one of the great ironies of her life: she found people for a living, but for years she’d kept herself from finding him again, scared that the response wouldn’t be enough. She’d always been tempted, but she’d never gathered the courage to take the leap and try.

“God, I can’t believe it’s really you,” he murmured, his voice clear but also filled with emotion. His touch of an accent washed over her, sending a buzzy sensation coursing through her and lighting her up inside. She wanted to smile, but she was still too stunned to even speak. 

“This is the part where you reciprocate the feeling, Ems,” Ruby said, pulling Emma back from her wandering thoughts and the feeling of shock that seeing Killian stirred in her. Emma was still speechless, and she looked at Ruby in a silent cry for help that the brunette immediately answered. “Not sure how long it’s been since you too have seen each other, but Emma is a bailbonds person. She’s actually the best damn asset in the city. She’s got the most catches three years running.”

“Doesn’t surprise me,” Killian said with a smile and Emma’s heart skipped even as she gave him a quizzical look. “You were always brilliant, and tracking people down is no easy feat. Believe me, I’ve tried.”

“You have?” Emma asked, finally finding her voice.

“Aye,” he said, moving forward so the air around them practically crackled with anticipation. Emma felt a rush of energy; her whole body felt fit to burst with an instinctive want to move closer even while her rational brain said she should bolt. This was too much; it was too impossible. She shouldn’t be feeling this. She shouldn’t start hoping for things, because hoping for things was the surest way to end up disappointed. “Emma, I-," 

Whatever Killian was going to say got interrupted by a boisterous gaggle of defense attorneys stampeding in the door. They had no respect for the ‘Quiet please’ signs in the area and completely broke the moment. Ruby, for her part, was extra irritated since the nuisance pulled her from openly gawking at Emma and Killian. She had to go and shush the offenders, but the sudden change of pace was all the interruption Emma needed to start feeling like her only choice was to flee. This was too much for her to handle and she was seconds from making a run for it, but then she felt Killian’s hand touch hers and the world stopped. The noise faded away and a hundred beautiful, perfect memories came rushing back to her as he held her hand in his.

“Please, Emma.” His tone begged for her to look at him and when she did she could see the earnest desire written all over his face. “I know it’s been a long time – God it feels like lifetimes ago – but I can’t leave you again thinking it’ll be the last time I see you. I don’t have it in me.”

“I know,” Emma confessed, her voice starting to break. “But it’s crazy. Everything’s different. We’re different. We have different lives. You could be married. You could be -,”

“I am not now nor have I ever been married,” he stated firmly, as if he was offended that she’d even suspect a catch like him could have tied the knot.

“Girlfriend?” Emma asked, hating that her curiosity was getting the better of her.

“No. There’s been no one truly special in my life. Not for a very long time.”

Emma knew instinctively that he was talking about her, and it was the only way she found the bravery to reply with complete honesty. “Me too.”

“Thank God for that,” he exclaimed, his breath coming out in a relieved wave as his thumb ran across her skin, sending sublime sensation through her whole being. “Go out with me tonight.” 

“Tonight?” Emma asked, surprised at how immediate that request was.

“Aye. I don’t think I could bear the wait, and I’ve no shame in admitting that. I’d ask you out for this very moment, but I have another case being called in thirty minutes that I can’t postpone.”

Emma smiled despite the flurry of emotions she was grappling with. God, she’d always loved that about him. He was so unabashedly open with her, and that tendency had given her the space to be exactly who she was when they’d been together all those years ago. She never felt alone with him, and through some kind of magic, he always made her believe that it was okay to be vulnerable and to admit what she really wanted most of all.

“All right, tonight. But where are we going?”

“Leave that to me, love,” he replied and the term of endearment made her light up instantly. She’d missed that so much. She’d missed _him_ so much, more than words could ever say. “Do you trust me?”

“I want to,” Emma replied quietly and though she thought he might be disappointed by her inability to promise absolutely faith in him right now, he only grinned in that boyish, charming way he’d been prone to way back when.

“We’ll get there. Starting with this date – we’ll find our way, together.”

“So it _is_ a date?” Emma confirmed, excitement bubbling over at the firmness in his tone as she typed in her number to the phone Killian had quickly handed her.

“Aye, love. It’s a date." 

With that, and with a all too fleeting final farewell where Killian took her hand once more and raised it to his lips in a gentle kiss, her long lost what-if took his leave of her again. And though she still didn’t love the feeling of him walking away, Emma was comforted with the fact that she’d see him again in just a few more hours, and that hopefully this time she’d never really have to let him go again.

**_Post-Note: So despite the fact that I have so much other stuff on my plate writing-wise, I got struck with this story idea and I couldn’t put it down. It was originally going to be a mixtape and end right here (I know, it’s barely even begun!) but I have decided to make it into a short multi-chapter story. It’s pretty surface level stuff, a brief burst of fluff, and probably only about three parts, but it will be filled with cuteness, rest assured. Anyway thank you so much for reading, and I can’t wait to hear what all of you think!_ **


	2. Chapter 2

**_A/N: Hey everyone! So thank you so much for your initial positivity and excitement about the fic. It’s inspired me to engage with this AU in a way I wasn’t planning originally, and I am so excited to keep writing and exploring this story. That being said, I’m delayed in posting because I had actually written a few more chapters of this fic and then my hard drive on my laptop decided to die. I lost the work, but not the commitment to this story or the idea of where things could go next. As such, this is take two of me trying to write this second chapter, and it actually takes place in the past. I want to explore not only the story of Emma and Killian finding each other again, but the story of how they first found each other too. This chapter is from Emma’s POV again, but rest assured we will be getting Killian’s eventually too. So, with that being said, I really hope you enjoy and I would LOVE to hear what you think. Thanks so much for reading!_ **

_Twelve Years Earlier_

_“And that, ladies, is how you make a personal, one-of-a-kind needlepoint pillow!”_

_The excitement that those words were said with was almost hard to fathom. In all her life, Emma had never met someone who would get so excited about crafting, never mind in a style that was so out dated, but she couldn’t help but smile at Mrs. Hubbard. Their activities director here in the arts and craft barn was a sweet older woman and she was the only person at this camp that Emma felt really cared about any of them. All of the other adults here either looked at camp as a job, or were alumni themselves and thus were convinced that a summer at Camp Pinewood was the most glorious and glamorous thing a girl of sixteen could partake in. It was an elite, invitation only camp, and only the best families in the area could even consider sending their girls here._

_That mentality was understandably off-putting to Emma, since she was hardly glamorous by any stretch of the imagination. She was a foster kid, had been since infancy, and in the past sixteen years she’d been in nearly 20 different homes or facilities. When she was still little, it was mostly family placements, and a few had even been promising, allowing Emma to really believe she may someday find a real family to call her own. But they never worked out in the end, and for the past ten years Emma had been relegated to mostly group homes, all of which were noisy and cramped and stressful. The most recent one was the worst she’d been in yet, but it did have one benefit – an eccentric and wealthy benefactress who provided a scholarship for any girl with good grades to come out here to Pinewood for the summer._

_At first Emma had thought that offer was so stupid. Who would want a scholarship for camp? As a kid in the system there were about a thousand things she needed before she needed a summer trip to one of the richest neighborhoods in the country, but after a few weeks in her boisterous and bustling group home in the heart of the city, Emma was desperate for a summer away from the noise and the active dislike of her fellow lost girls. Emma didn’t fit in with the other foster kids she’d come in contact with, having been written off as uppity even though she wasn’t. At first, some of the girl’s who were staples at her group home had thought to pick on her, but everyone had largely stopped messing with her after Emma responded to a fight with a defensive skill none of them were expecting. She didn’t like to get physical, but Emma could hold her own, and she wasn’t about to let anyone mess with her when she’d done nothing to provoke it. But despite showing that she was strong and capable, the others still iced her out, making sure Emma knew that she was neither wanted nor accepted in any way.  She was a certified loner, and though that sad fact seemed to be transferring to this camp too, at least Emma had space and fresh air and some peace and quiet to go along with her loneliness._

_Camp Pinewood was, according to everyone both running and attending the camp, the most exclusive summer commitment a girl could have. It ran only during the day, because it seemed that hanging too far in the woods overnight was a line a majority of these girls would never cross, but it boasted all kinds of famous alumni. There were politicians, judges, even a few actresses and other famous faces. But to Emma the exclusive club part felt more than a little out of reach. She highly doubted that her past was going to be completely washed away by rubbing shoulders with a bunch of American heiresses. No one had actually asked about her situation, and she didn’t think any of them realized she was here on scholarship from the woman whose family had originally gifted this town with the land the camp resided on, but they also knew she wasn’t one of them, and there was nothing worse to rich people than a lack of status. Most girls had come here with built in friends and enemies, and while they went about their business, Emma just observed, taking in how foreign a way of life this was before returning each night to her home for the summer – a small bedroom in the staff house at the estate of the woman who’d granted her the scholarship._

_Emma still hadn’t met the unconventional old woman who made this summer away possible, and she doubted she would at any point this trip, especially since it seemed no other girl from her group home had ever actually qualified for this scholarship. Emma was the first ever to take them up on their generosity and it showed. There were surprisingly few rules for a sixteen-year-old ward of the state, and very little in the ways of entertainment for one. The housekeeper, Mrs. Dearly, had simply told Emma three things: breakfast was at eight each morning, dinner was at six thirty in the evening, and she was not to have any boys on the property. After that thirty second introduction, Emma had been shown her bedroom and pretty much left to her own devices. She saw Mrs. Dearly at meal times, but the woman was always so busy with running the estate along with her husband, that there was never much in the way of reciprocal conversation. Emma didn’t mind too much though. She’d rather have the distance between them all. It was a hopeless dream to think she could stay here when the summer was over, and if they were nicer it would be harder to keep her guard up from what would undoubtedly be substantial disappointment._

_“Now I know what you’re all thinking,” Mrs. Hubbard continued, cutting through Emma’s unhappy thoughts and pulling her back to the activity at hand. “You are wondering who you should give such a thoughtful gift to.  Now sure, these pillows are great to keep, and there are any number of people you could gift them too, but a good choice might be a special someone in your life. I know a few of you have boys you’re sweet on, and any good beau would love a pillow like this!”_

_Emma bit back a wince at the thought of sharing this terrible pillow with anyone. She had absolutely no artistic ability, and while she’d been able to follow the structural instructions well, creating a strong and sturdy pillow, her needlework left a lot to be desired. She’d been trying to make a dog, but if she had to choose a mammal that it looked most like she’d say it was an elephant. Well, an elephant if elephants were kind of weirdly wobbly along the back and had some legs that were longer than the others. Okay, fine, she had, at best, created an amoeba like shape, but still she wouldn’t cut into Mrs. H’s enthusiasm. The woman was so nice that Emma didn’t have the heart to tell her that even if this was a fantastic pillow it would still be weird to give to a guy. Boys her age didn’t want handmade and carefully stitched decorative pieces, and honestly, Emma struggled to think that there had ever been a man in any time or place who would welcome such a gift as a sign of affection._

_“Jesus is she crazy?” One of the ruder campers in the back asked in a harsh whisper. Emma made a point not to ruffle feathers, especially in a new place, but there had been a number of times where this girl in particular, Catherine Parker, had tested that strength. “I know she’s practically prehistoric, but she doesn’t really think we’d give these to anyone does she? Talk about delusional.”_

_“Yeah, totally nutso,” one girl responded._

_“Seriously disturbed,” another agreed._

_“I don’t even know why she still works here to be honest. I mean I know she’s been here forever, but at some point we’ve got to bury the fossils, you know?"_

_Emma couldn’t help the eye roll that escaped as she listened to this ridiculously ageist and asinine commentary, but she made sure to let it loose when Mrs. H was looking elsewhere. She didn’t want their instructor to think this was aimed at her or her ideas, because no matter how out there they were, Emma still appreciated them. All of Mrs. Hubbard’s suggestions came from a good place, and Emma would never disrespect that when she knew how rare it was for adults to really try their best to do right by kids their age. Luckily, before her peers could say anything else that Mrs. H might hear, the camp bell rang, alerting them all that this particular class was over and that the day at camp was now done with it. It being Friday, Emma knew that most of these girls were off to extravagant ‘barbecues’ (AKA what rich people called fancy parties as long as they were outside during the summer) or beach-side soirees until Monday came, but Emma would just be hanging around. Maybe she’d take a real walk around the town, or head to the public ocean access (which was still nice, but too pedestrian for the rich girls at this camp apparently), but whatever she ended up doing, Emma knew it would be a solo adventure, just as all of her outings tended to be._

_The rest of the girls practically sprinted from the room and to the parking lot where their drivers awaited them. It was a mad scramble to get out of here each day, since no one ever seemed to carpool (honestly, even pitching the idea would probably make Emma a social pariah), but Emma wasn’t in the same rush as them. She’d be walking the back trail to the estate, which was directly adjacent to the camp property. She had no strict curfew and no place to be, and she planned to make her fifteen-minute walk back leisurely and relaxing. Emma wanted to enjoy the summer heat and the sun a little more. This wasn’t a forever place for her, and come the fall when she was headed back to school, she wanted to be sure she’d soaked as much of it in as she could._

_“Thanks for the lesson, Mrs. H,” Emma said by way of goodbye, and she was taken aback again by the fact that this woman always appeared shocked when she said thank you. Sure, Emma hadn’t noticed anyone else doing the same when a class ended, despite their ‘good breeding’ and etiquette lessons, but still, it was basic politeness._

_“You’re very welcome, my dear. Any fun weekend plans?” Emma shook her head at the question and Mrs. H only offered a smile instead of anything like pity, which Emma appreciated. “Well good things have a way of finding us in their time. I’m sure you’ll enjoy yourself, Emma. See you next week, all right?”_

_Emma agreed and headed out, finding the path towards her summer quarters with ease, and setting out on the solitary journey. It was quiet out here, but also not at all. The ambient hum of the natural world was so different to anything Emma ever experienced back in the city. The birds, the bugs, and the breeze all played a musical part in their own way as the sun filtered in through the canopy above. This forest was bursting with life, and some smaller animals filtered in and out her path. If she pushed away reality for a little bit, Emma could almost pretend she had a completely different life. Out here, in the mostly untouched woods, she could be part of a totally separate world, one with knights and pirates, kings and queens, or whatever else she wished. This could be a journey through the past or a jaunt into the fairytales she’d secretly loved as a kid. It was the kind of place her imagination could go wild, and after spending so many years just trying to survive, it was amazing to have the space to just dream of new places and new adventures to embark on._

_In the midst of these daydreams, however, a noise sounded out in the woods around her that startled Emma. It sounded like something was running in her direction, something big. She heard the crunching the earth below as feet pounded on the ground, and a foreboding rustling through bushes. Emma had very little time to prepare for what it could be, and her first thought was that maybe it was a bear or something. She didn’t think they were very common around these parts, but what did she know? Yet no sooner had she really begun to edge towards panic, than the culprit behind her worry came into the light. It was a dog in the end, granted a really big dog (she hadn’t been so far off with the bear guess in terms of size), but one that was friendly if the wagging tale and huge doggy smile were anything to go off of._

_“Hey there, buddy. Aren’t you cute?” Emma asked and this seemed to make the dog even happier. It came lumbering towards her, pressing its head into her side and Emma laughed, crouching down to give the dog some love._

_She’d always adored dogs ever since she was a little girl, and though she never spoke these wishes out loud, a dog was absolutely part of her dream for a family and a home. Kids in the system weren’t allowed pets, but Emma knew that they should be given them. Animals could go a long way in making life less lonely. But instead of dwelling on that, Emma just enjoyed this fleeting moment with… she looked at the collar on this big beautiful brown beast, but there was no tag and no name she could read._

_“Are you lost, girl?” Emma asked and unwillingly her hope began to rise. Maybe this dog needed a home too, but just as she asked, she heard a sharp whistle and then a voice sounding out further in the woods._

“Missy! Here, girl!”

_“So not lost, just hiding, huh Missy?” The dog barked happily and Emma couldn’t help smiling, even if she was a little sad at the fact that this dog would have to go soon. She was just so cute and affectionate, and Emma was so pulled in that she must have missed the sound of approaching footsteps._

_“Oh thank God, you found her. She’s not usually a runner but she took off and…”_

_The stranger’s words faded away, and Emma turned to look at who had said them. When she did her heart clutched in her chest. Holy cow this guy was cute, and Emma had simply not been expecting it. Her brain hadn’t gone so far as to sketch out what she thought Missy’s owner would look like, but even if it had, she never could have made this. His hair was dark, and he was taller than her and maybe a year or two older. He looked strong and capable, carrying himself with a confidence that was quiet but pronounced, and Emma’s eyes moved across his chest to his arms which were muscled, tone, and tan from the start of summer. As Emma took him in, she couldn’t help thinking he was beautiful and far more handsome than any boy she’d ever met. Hell, maybe she was still dreaming, and this boy wasn’t real at all. He looked like something from the pages of a storybook, a tall, dark, and handsome hero just waiting to swoop in and save the day. But while Emma felt spellbound by this man on the whole, his eyes were the thing she kept coming back to. They were the most striking about him, all intense and blue and almost magical, and currently they were looking at her with this depth of emotion Emma couldn’t understand. For whatever reason he seemed just as taken aback by her as she was of him, but she didn’t get why. Emma knew she was just ordinary, but this guy… well, he made her feel like maybe she was more all along and simply didn’t realize it._

_“Uh, hi,” Emma finally said after they’d both been staring for a little longer than they should. “You must be Missy’s owner.”_

_“Killian, Killian Jones,” he said immediately though she hadn’t intentionally asked him to introduce himself. Then he offered his hand and Emma was surprised. People their age didn’t usually greet one another this way, but she could tell he wasn’t from here. His voice was coated with a delicious sounding accent. British maybe? Emma didn’t know. All she knew was that she liked it. A lot._

_“Emma Swan.”_

_“A beautiful name for a beautiful woman,” he said, and though Emma didn’t detect any malice or artifice when he said that, her walls automatically came up again. Sweet as the words were, it was a total line, and a pretty cheesy one at that. Never mind the fact that it made the butterflies in her stomach go all kinds of crazy to be called beautiful by a boy like him. She didn’t have the time or the inclination to get to know a player, and he was probably a big one based on this game he was throwing her way._

_“Right. Well I’m gonna go. See ya, Missy,” she said before pivoting in the direction of the estate._

_“Wait!”_

_The word from Killian was desperate, and it halted Emma in her tracks. She looked back at him and she could see his regret all over his face, and she couldn’t explain why, but she found it really endearing. Maybe it was the fact that he wasn’t ashamed of how much he felt. He was completely open, and Emma found that comforting in ways she never expected. As someone who was so rarely candid with her feelings, Emma saw his bravery in being so and yearned for the courage to be that way too._

_“I’m sorry about that, I know that was bad. I mean I meant it, you are beautiful, but I know that’s a corny thing to say and, well, I just don’t usually do this. You know… this,” he said as he waved between them. He must have realized that his hand gesturing wasn’t actually an explanation of what he was thinking so he cursed and then he apologized for cursing before accidentally cursing again._

_Emma watched as Killian ran a hand through his hair, mussing it up further while also signaling how flustered he was. At the sight of this nervous tic, Emma found herself smiling, and when he looked completely shocked at that, she couldn’t help but laugh. It was funny after all, because  here was this guy who from one look seemed out of her league, but he was bumbling about and falling all over himself over_ her _. Her, Emma Swan! That was just wild, but Emma found she really loved it despite her lingering hesitations._

_“You’re not from here, are you Killian?”_

_“What gave me away?” He asked with a responding grin that made Emma’s pulse quicken._

_“You mean aside from the accent and the handshake?” she joked and he nodded. “I can just tell. You’re not as put together as the people here.”_

_He looked stricken for a moment and Emma rushed to clarify. “I didn’t mean it like that. Not in a bad way, it’s just I spend all day at this camp with girls who are so concerned with how they look and how they act, and you’re different. It’s refreshing, I think.”_

_“You think?”_

_“Well the jury is still out after that line you laid on me.”_

_“God that was bad. I’ll never live that down, will I?” he asked, but Emma could sense the humor in his words as he groaned at his own badly coordinated introductions._

_“Do you want to?” She asked, genuinely curious._

_“Yes,” he replied seriously. “If given the chance, I would very much like to make it up to you, Emma.”_

_“Okay, then prove it.”_

_So he did. Over the next hour or so, Killian rose to the challenge as they walked together on different paths through the woods, and Emma couldn’t remember the last time she’d laughed so much in her life. It turned out Killian was really charming and witty, along with being distractingly handsome, and when he wasn’t so overwhelmed with first meeting someone, he was so naturally himself. It amazed Emma how comfortable they became with each other in such a short amount of time, just talking and playing with Missy when she demanded it, but Emma realized part of the wonder of all of this was because she’d been craving this kind of connection for so long. She’d never had a friend, at least not a really good one, and though she was certainly attracted to Killian, she had to admit that she also liked him for more than his looks. He had a great sense of humor, and they sparred verbally more than once, making Emma feel not only like someone understood her, but that they really saw who she was when so few people ever had._

_“I hope you won’t think this is a line, Emma,” Killian said after they’d had a solid laugh at a story Killian told her about him and his brother getting in trouble when they were kids. “But I have to say that even though we’ve only just met, I feel like I’ve known you a long time.”_

_“It’s like we’re kindred spirits,” Emma said in agreement, quoting one of her favorite stories and then realizing Killian probably didn’t get the reference. “It’s from a book -,”_

_“Aye,_ Anne of Green Gables _,” Killian filled in and Emma was surprised, and her shock only seemed to amuse Killian. “My Mum read it to us when we were kids. It was one of her favorites.”_

_A quiet moment fell between them, and though Killian didn’t say anything else, Emma could tell that conversation about his mother was in some ways painful to him. Emma would never pry, but she found that she really wanted to know what it was that Killian was going through. If she could help in any way she would, but she didn’t want to push him. Emma knew first-hand how hard it was to talk about the scars that she carried, and nothing hurt worse than being forced to revisit bad times because someone else demanded it._

_They sat there quietly for a little bit, and though Emma kept expecting an awkwardness to descend upon them, it never came. It was nice to have someone there, even if they weren’t talking, and Emma hoped Killian felt the same way. He said as much a few minutes later, and Emma was thrilled to know that he agreed with her assessment, but unfortunately she couldn’t linger in this new found connection for much longer. The sun was starting to sink lower in the sky, and soon enough it would be dinner time at the estate. She didn’t really know what would happen if she missed the meal, but she thought it best not to find out, especially so early in the summer._

_When she broke the sad news that she should be heading back, Killian offered to walk her, and though she told him he didn’t have to, Emma didn’t fight him when he insisted. His determination to see her home safely made her feel special and important, and Emma knew that despite a bumpy first impression, Killian was a really remarkable person. No one had ever been this thoughtful towards her or had shown her this kind of attention, and instead of running like she normally would when someone tried to get close to her, she decided to give Killian a chance, no matter what hurt may come of it in the future. The only problem was that their walk back was over too soon, and Emma found herself wishing she had some way to make this moment last longer or to ensure that they could somehow see each other again._

_By the time they arrived at the gate outside the staff house, Emma was still struggling to find something to say. From here she could see the window to her room and the many others in this large house. But ultimately her hands were tied. She couldn’t invite Killian in; that was like the one rule here, and it was one she couldn’t break and expect to stay. She also couldn’t ask him for his number because she didn’t have a phone and she was terrified he’d ask her why, prompting her to have to tell him about who she really was and what her life was really like. Damn it! Why did this have to be so hard?_

_“What’s your opinion on fairs?” Killian asked randomly, and Emma raised a brow even while the corners of her mouth began to curl upwards._

_“Fairs? Like with the games and fried food and Ferris wheels?” She asked and he nodded. “Well I don’t know, really. I’ve never actually been to one.”_

_“Never?” he asked, but before Emma could grow uncomfortable with her admission he pivoted, as if he could read her discomfort and wanted to ease it. “Well I haven’t been to one in a long time, and never in the States. But I was walking around town earlier, and I heard some people talking about one that will be here this weekend. I thought maybe you’d like to go.”_

_“With you?” Emma asked and Killian cleared his throat before nodding._

_“Aye, with me,” he said and Emma nearly sighed at the way his words washed over her with that dreamy accent of his. Still, she took a moment to consider._

_This felt like a really big deal. Emma was so used to being alone and she’d built up defenses against other people so that she didn’t get attached. Seeing Killian again would put those boundaries up at risk, but even now Emma knew he’d made an impact. In fact, he’d created such a good memory in her life just from their meeting today that she didn’t think she’d ever forget him. And as for her instincts, which she had always trusted, they were screaming at her to say yes, because if she didn’t she’d always wonder what-if, and she didn’t want to wonder. For once, Emma wanted to know what it was like to invest in someone else, and to live a little instead of just surviving, and she felt like Killian was a person she could trust enough to try and do so._

_“Yeah, I’d like that.”_

_His responding smile was so bright and animated that Emma almost couldn’t take it. She tried shifting her stance a bit to try and cover up some of her own excitement, but Missy had crept up on her while Killian had been asking about the fair, and in order to avoid stepping on her paws, Emma jolted the other way. Unfortunately, Emma’s sense of coordination caught up with her actions too late, and she stumbled more than a little bit. It would have been mortifying, but Killian’s hands came to steady her, pulling her towards him as they did, and Emma felt warmth and electricity springing through her. Her eyes flew up to his and she saw the undeniable look of yearning in his cerulean gaze, and without any words said between them she knew that he felt this too. He was just as affected by this as she was, and it felt like magic. She swallowed harshly, barely breathing, but not daring to move at the risk of breaking the spell that swirled around them._

_“Careful, love,” Killian whispered with a gentle sweetness and a hint of swagger that left his blue eyes sparkling. “We’ve a date tomorrow, and I need you in top shape. It would be a shame to miss anything when it’ll be your first time.”_

_“So it_ is _a date?” Emma blurted out._

_She felt her cheeks flush when she realized what she’d asked aloud, but Killian only smiled before he boldly brought his hand up to brush against the place where her blush colored her freckled skin. His fingertips lingered for only a few seconds before curling a lock of her hair that had escaped her ponytail behind her ear. Emma shivered at the gentle caress, and her lips parted ever so slightly. Jesus, how was this possible? Sometimes he was flustered and a little clumsy in his manners, but Killian could also be this composed and seriously sexy figure. She felt like her heart would fly straight out of her chest it was hammering so harshly, but he was totally in control and confident almost to a cocky degree. It was maddening and dizzying, but also filled Emma with a thrill that she adored and wanted more of._

_“Aye, love. It’s a date. Can I pick you up here, say seven o’clock?”_

_Emma nodded, and though words failed her for a moment, she knew her smile must say it all to him so clearly. She was excited, more excited than she had ever been, and that outweighed all the nerves she had from this being an actual date. She’d never actually been on a date before and she was terrified in some ways. But for whatever reason, she knew that it was worth facing the fear. Whatever happened, Killian would see her through, and though it defied rationality and logic, Emma held close to that fact she just knew to be true._

_“I guess I should go in,” Emma hedged and though she could see the little flecks of regret in his eyes, Killian nodded. He stepped back, removing his hands from her body and leaving her missing the sensation of having his skin on hers. “See you tomorrow?”_

_“Tomorrow,” he agreed, and Emma smiled, delighted at the promise at all that was to come._

_As she walked back to her summer home, Emma appreciated that neither of them actually said the word “goodbye,” because she hated to think this was over. In her lifetime, Emma had experienced too many goodbyes. People always seemed to leave her, and though she’d largely hardened herself from the pain of those farewells, Emma didn’t think it would be so easy with someone like Killian. He sparked something in her, something that had been dormant for maybe all her life, and if he left she worried that spark would leave with him. Even as she headed through the wrought iron gate and towards the house, Emma wished they didn’t need to wait until tomorrow to be together again, and she couldn’t help pausing at the door and stealing another look at him. He was still there with Missy, as she knew he would be, waiting to see her safely inside, his gaze never having left her though he could have already headed home. In that moment, Emma knew he was choosing her, putting her first, and making her feel like she was the most precious thing to him. That was huge and heavy for having just met someone, but Killian was right before – it didn’t feel like they’d only just connected. To Emma it felt like this was always meant to be, and like she’d been unknowingly waiting for this all her short but lonely life._

**_Post-Note: So there we have it. As I mentioned, I had actually written a version of this chapter before and I am so bummed that I lost it when my computer glitched out. But that being said, I feel like this version still accomplishes what I wanted. I really wanted you all to see what Emma’s life has been like and what her situation is before meeting Killian, because it will certainly change now that fate has brought them together. That being said, next chapter will definitely be from Killian’s POV so we can get some of his story too. Not sure when that will be posted, but doing my best to keep my muse chatty and engaged. Anyway, thanks so much for reading and I hope you’ll all let me know what you think!_ **


	3. Chapter 3

**_A/N: Hey everyone! So I am back again with another chapter of this new story, and I am happy to say that I like this rewritten version even better than the one I lost a few weeks back. Not only that, but I have also better developed the story idea and come up with a unique (but still typically me) CS tale of love and cuteness. It’s looking like it’ll be ten separate chapters and an epilogue at the moment, and they’ll all be bouncing around from Emma and Killian’s POVs in the past and the present. This particular chapter is one I am really excited for. It also takes place in the past (notice the italics), and it picks up where our last chapter left off but from Killian’s perspective. He and Emma are going to the fair for their date! Of course I had to lay down some basic facts of Killian’s life in the beginning section, and just a heads up for people, part of it is a little sad. Like Emma, Killian hasn’t had an easy life in this fic, but no worries – they’ll make each other happy and there will be lots of fluff ahead. Anyway, thanks so much for reading and I would love to hear what you all think!_ **

_(Past)_

_“Damn it, why did I say seven? I should have said earlier. What the bloody hell was I thinking?”_

_Killian muttered the words aloud as he stared at the gilded antique clock on the mantel of his Uncle Benjen’s study. If he were less fixated on his desire for time to speed up, Killian would probably marvel again at how that one item alone easily cost more than two months of his brother Liam’s salary. His Uncle Benjen spared no expense on the furnishings in this house, and Killian got the feeling it didn’t even make a dent in the massive fortune of his father’s younger brother. Besides, this house was one of the largest in the county, and this county was apparently one of the richest in America. It seemed only right that the decor should be as over the top and astronomically pricy as the real estate itself._

_Unlike Killian’s father, who had been a degenerate and a drunk nearly all his adult life, Benjen Jones was a man of status and steady purpose. Killian had only recently met him in person. Prior to this summer, their relationship had strictly consisted of a card and a check at his birthday and Christmas, but Uncle Benjen seemed to be the opposite of Killian’s father, Brennan, in many ways. Luckily, Killian didn’t have many personal memories of the rat bastard who once terrorized them, but he remembered enough. Where Brennan had never been interested in holding down a job for more than a chance to buy more cheap booze and neglect the needs of his family, Benjen was a work horse. In twenty years, he went from a nobody in London to a household name in America. He’d represented clients in dozens of high-profile cases and had used that star power to leverage himself into ownership of more than a dozen high-end firms around the country._

_Now Benjen was a certifiable legal powerhouse here in the States, and he could clearly afford to retire several times over. It became clear to Killian the moment he walked through the doors that Benjen must be the source of the money they’d had these last few years. With his mother out of work, Killian always wondered how they could get by on just Liam’s military salary, but that query was put to rest upon arrival. His Uncle had millions, but having that money hadn’t impacted his drive. One thing that was very apparent about his uncle to Killian was the man’s tendency towards competitiveness. Benjen hated to lose, and he hated to be idle. He talked of little except for work, and Killian assumed he thought of little else as well. There was always some other goal to chase and some other case to win. For that reason, he’d never settled down or had children of his own, and so when Killian had showed up here a few weeks before, it was immediately apparent that Benjen was at a loss of what to do or how to act._

_Not that anyone was particularly good at addressing a wayward seventeen-year-old kid whose mother had recently passed away and whose brother had been shipped off to another war zone as part of his job. There were probably how-to books on this kind of stuff, like_ Teenage Trauma for Dummies _or some shit, but Killian assumed they were all full of crap. There was no way to write out a reasoned plan for how to deal with loss of this kind, and Killian understood that because he’d come to learn over the past few months that grief was unknowable. It was different for everyone and handled in a million varying ways depending on the person. Killian’s own grief was still undefined, and each day his hurt felt just as new and fresh as the day he lost his mother. For that reason, Killian was glad that Uncle Benjen never tried to coddle him or confront the elephant in the room. It was the last thing he wanted, and clearly his Uncle, for whatever shortcomings he may have on a guardianship front, could understand that at least in part._

_“You know the clock never hastens for those who watch it, my dear.”_

_The unexpected words made Killian jump, his sudden motion jostling the chair in which he sat. He hadn’t realized anyone else was in this wing of the house, and he imagined he was quite alone. When he looked up though, he realized it was only Mrs. Potts, the older woman who took care of things around here for his Uncle. She was a kind soul, and though she had decades of life on him, he noticed the woman never lacked for energy. She could put him to shame with the way she ran about this house organizing, cooking, and keeping things afloat. It took a small army to keep up with a place like this, but Mrs. Potts never broke a sweat, and though Killian had tried to resist her nurturing ways, it was fruitless. The woman’s calling was taking care of people, and in a moment like this, that kind of care was welcome to Killian._

_“I know it doesn’t, but still I can’t help trying,” he confessed and Mrs. Potts smiled warmly before patting his arm._

_“It’s a terrible trait of time. When we want it to slow it quickens, and when we want it to fly it drags. Dreadfully annoying. But you know what would kill some time? Telling me what has you so tied in knots.”_

_Oh damnit, there it was. Killian had foolishly hoped that maybe he could get through the day unnoticed, but how could he? Mrs. Potts was only commenting at all because he’d been so different the past twenty-four hours. He could only imagine the changes she witnessed. One day he was just going through the motions, not angry per se, but definitely withdrawn. The only being he let near him for prolonged periods of time was Missy, and though he took care to never be downright rude, he tried to make it clear that he wanted nothing extensive to do with any person he had met here. But after last night and all through today, he had been buzzing with energy and excitement. He’d been smiling, something that he hadn’t done in ages before yesterday, and that feeling of happiness was so strong it even outweighed the worry that he’d somehow fuck this up that currently turned his stomach. He couldn’t help but feel hope for the first time in a long time, and the reason for that was wrapped up in one beautiful, transcendent girl named Emma Swan._

_Finding her in the forest yesterday had felt like a trick of the light. It was as if he’d been craving goodness for so long that his mind created a figment of miraculous imagination. It took more than a moment to believe his luck could change so drastically. After everything, he didn’t even feel worthy of standing in the presence of this girl. She was perfect, doting on his dog with kind, easy affection, and then standing and facing him, stealing his breath all at once. Her golden hair, her piercing jade eyes, and her curious and cautious expression had all done him in. But more than that it was the aura around her that called to him. The sun shone through the trees, flittering in with a warming light, but it was Emma that seemed to radiate brightest. It almost hurt to look at her, but he never wanted to stop. He could have stayed in that first moment forever._

_“Silly me,” Mrs. Potts said with a chuckle, pulling Killian from his runaway thoughts. “Here I am asking a question I know half the answer to already. After all, the only thing that puts a look like that on a young man’s face is a beautiful girl.”_

_“How could you know that?” Killian asked, and the older woman smiled._

_“My dear, I hate to tell you that it’s obvious, but you’re not exactly hiding anything. It’s clear as day you’ve found a little dose of happiness, and after the year you’ve had I think it’s well deserved.”_

_Mention of the trying nature of this past year should have hurt him, but Killian felt immune to the pain of remembrance for once. To say that Emma was unexpected didn’t do the situation justice. For almost a year Killian had felt lost and unmoored. The passing of his mother was more painful than words could ever articulate, and it didn’t matter that he’d had months to say goodbye to her. If anything it was worse to see her suffer and to incrementally lose more hope each and every day. By the end, her leaving him had been a given, and when she was finally gone Killian thought he would feel relief. Instead he felt paralyzed and completely unsure of what to do and where to go from there. Life had become about helping his Mum and getting her through the worst demon any of them had ever faced, and when it was just him and Liam left, Killian didn’t know how to act or who to be. How did you live in a world where one of the most important parts of your universe just disappeared? It left an aching sense of emptiness, something physically painful, and nothing and no one had helped to dull that pain until Emma._

_“Her name is Emma,” Killian admitted, and for once Mrs. Potts clammed up, no doubt hoping he’d say more. “I met her yesterday. She goes to the camp in town and we got to talking. I asked her to the fair tonight.”_

_“Oh the fair! Well how marvelous, or as the kids would say, that’s like ‘totally far out!’” Mrs. Potts said, attempting a horrendous show at an American accent, and after a moment of trying to contain his reaction, Killian gave in, laughing at the words she’d chosen. She was no doubt impersonating some kind of American TV reference, but her delivery was shoddy at best. “Oh bother, you know I try to assimilate to these American ways, but it just won’t do. It’s the tea and biscuits I think. My devotion to them simply makes it impossible for me to embrace that American twang.”_

_With the mention of tea, Mrs. Potts then got it into her mind that tea was the exact remedy they needed in this moment, and the entertainment of watching his Uncle’s housekeeper keep up with the most British of traditions kept Killian smiling. It was nice to feel the sense of home before heading out on something new and foreign tonight. His Mum had always enjoyed any excuse for tea, and as he sipped on the piping hot English grey that Mrs. Potts provided, Killian swore he could feel his mother’s own steadying presence. It was almost like she was with him, even though Mrs. Potts was asking the questions, and though he couldn’t rationally explain it, Killian felt like, wherever she was, his mother was just as excited for Killian as Mrs. Potts._

_Though time still dragged more than a bit, the moment did finally come for Killian to get ready and depart. He did so with shaky hands but nothing like real apprehension. He was nervous, of course, because he wanted things to be just so to ensure that Emma had a good time, but the chance to see Emma again and to take her out so that they might see where things could go was a blessing in all ways. In fact, he was so desirous of the chance to do just that, that Killian actually walked the distance from his home to hers in a fraction of the time that he thought he would. He was early, but that earliness allowed for him to pause, and to look down a wooded country lane not far from Emma’s home. It was an ordinary looking place, nothing out of the common way, except for one thing. There, in the abandoned hedgerow were flowers. Wild roses, to be precise, and with a careful and mindful hand, Killian plucked one from the winding leaves. It was glorious, fully open for the season, fragrant, and lush, and Killian was thrilled at his luck._

_With his small but precious gift in hand for Emma, Killian closed the distance between him and Emma’s home, eager to be reunited with her again. But where he expected to come knocking on her door, he was shocked and elated to find instead that Emma was already waiting for him at the gate. She didn’t see him at first, and that was probably for the best, for he was too stunned to speak, or move, or think of anything beyond her. Taking her in was a rush, and seeing her tonight, with her hair hanging in loose golden curls and her jean shorts and t-shirt traded in for a pretty pink sundress, made Killian feel like his heart might actually give out. What he felt for her was so gigantic and boundless. He was in awe of her, and halfway in love with her all ready. And then she turned to look at him, smiling shyly as she did, and he was gone for her._

_This was the moment, right here, where he gave someone his heart for the first time. It was emblazoned with her name, beating just for Emma, and though many may call him crazy, Killian didn’t give a damn. It didn’t matter that they were young, or that this was only supposed to be his home for the summer. There could be a million things set against them, and for Killian none of them would matter. He’d conquer whatever he could to feel this way forever, and he knew having Emma in his world would be critical to that. In just one day Emma Swan had walked into his life and rewritten his story, and Killian for one had never been so happy about anything in his whole entire life._

_“You’re early,” Emma teased, a smirk playing at her lips as he started walking towards her again._

_“I could say the same about you, Swan.” Suddenly Emma looked uncomfortable, as if she wanted to explain why she was waiting for him outside but didn’t know how. This wasn’t the first time Emma had grown agitated about where she lived, and he wondered if she was embarrassed because this was the staff quarters of a larger estate, but while he wanted to ask what was the matter, Killian knew it would be best to wait for now. In the hopes of diffusing her apprehension, Killian produced the blossom he’d found for her, and drew her attention to the flower instead of whatever worried her. “For you, love.”_

_“Thank you. No one’s ever given me flowers before,” Emma whispered before bringing the rose up to smell its sweet scent. She appeared thrilled at his tiny gesture, and immediately Killian knew he’d bring her flowers every day. She deserved so much more than that, but this was a small thing he could accomplish that would hopefully bring her even a little bit of joy on a regular basis._

_“I’m honored to be the first,” Killian replied, and though he’d meant the comment innocently, he watched as a blush crossed Emma’s cheeks. That show of shyness prompted Killian to wonder if there other first they could share together, and then his mind started to run away with him, moving in a far racier direction than either he or Emma was ready for. He had to curtail those thoughts, at least for now, and he did so by pivoting to the night ahead. “So, are you ready to head out? The fair waits for no man, at least that’s what they tell me.”_

_Emma laughed at the corny joke, and Killian was glad that they’d come so far from their first meeting even though they’d still spent precious little time together. He offered her his hand, and at first he was unsure if she’d accept it, but without any form of hesitation she slipped her hand in his. Having that connection seemed to flip the switch for time. Where before it had been moving ever so slowly, now it was flying by. It felt like one moment they were at Emma’s place and the next they were in the center of town and in the thick of the festivities. In that time they talked and laughed, and most people might think their discussion was on things of little importance, but Killian knew he’d remember every moment, especially the one where Emma first saw the fair in all its glory._

_“Wow,” she uttered, her eyes flitting from sight to sight, tracking the lights and the people and the numerous games and rides._

_“So? What do you think?”_

_“It’s even better than I always imagined,” Emma admitted with a grin and Killian felt his heart leap at the praise. “Where do we go first?”_

_“Ah, now that is a conundrum each fair-goer must face. On the one hand there’s food and all of it is fried. It’s delicious, obviously -,”_

_“But probably not great to eat before getting on some of those,” Emma said, motioning towards the rides that spun and shot into the air or twisted round and round._

_“Precisely, but we can pace ourselves however you like. All I want to do is whatever makes you happy.”_

_Emma squeezed his hand a little tighter at his honest confession, and she continued to look around before deciding that a ride may be in order. He went and bought the tickets, and they tackled three of the most daring amusements at the fair. Initially, Killian worried that Emma might be scared, but she proved him so wrong. It turned out she loved the thrill and adrenaline, and her enjoyment made him desirous of the adventure as well. After that, they ate their fill of fair food, and then settled on a few games, nearly all of which Emma won. She was a natural at every single feat, and after seeing the light in her eyes that appeared when she found she was truly good at something, Killian wanted nothing more than for her to take the whole place. Some guys might have been turned off by a girl kicking their ass so decidedly, but not Killian. He was just as happy as Emma, for her excitement was infectious, as was her childlike joy every time she got her prize._

_“I feel like I should have brought a bag or something,” Emma joked as they walked around with her many winnings, and then Killian produced a tote bag that he’d bought while she was busy at the water gun station. She appeared shocked, but it softened quickly into appreciation. “You’re really on top of this, aren’t you?”_

_“Have to be to keep up with you, love,” Killian replied and Emma laughed before heading to another tent to dominate yet again. This time though she was strategic, going for a bigger win so she could have a specific prize. The only problem was, she wouldn’t tell Killian what her objective was until it had already been won._

_“For you,” Emma said, holding out her biggest catch of the day. It was a stuffed bear, but for some unbeknownst reason it was dressed in pirate garb. It had a hat and a sword, and even a little hook for a hand, and it was impossible not to look at the thing and smile, especially when Emma had thought to give it to him._

_“Thank you, Emma, I’ll cherish it.”_

_A beat of silence passed between them, but there was no awkwardness. Instead, he and Emma looked at each other, sharing an understanding that this night was one that mattered. They both had enjoyed themselves tremendously, and though neither of them said the words aloud, Killian knew that this was just the start. Things between him and Emma were just right, and there was no denying that. It was like they’d been meant to find each other, and to come together in this summer where he’d needed someone more than ever. Emma seemed to understand that, and though he didn’t know the details, Killian gathered that she was searching for some kind of goodness just as much as he had been._

_“I think there’s one more thing that needs doing,” Emma finally said, pulling her gaze from him and looking up to the tallest ride at the fair – the Ferris Wheel. They’d thought of going before, but the line was so long, but as the night went on more people went home. Little kids were all fast asleep by now, and there was only a little while left for the festivities this evening. As such, it was now or never to take one last ride together._

_“As you wish,” Killian said, before taking her hand again leading them to the giant wheel. They got on it quickly, and soon enough they had a revolving view of everything._

_“This is amazing,” Emma remarked as the ride slowly took its course, moving in a great big circle from high to low and back again._

_“Is it the best part of the night?” he asked and Emma shook her head._

_“I wouldn’t say that. It’s all been so wonderful. I couldn’t begin to choose a favorite part.”_

_Her words filled Killian with pride, and he couldn’t contain his smile when she spoke so highly of this date. Knowing that he’d created a happy memory for him and for Emma was an awesome feeling, but it didn’t compare to the ones that came next. In a moment, Emma’s eyes darkened even as they twinkled with the light of the wheel around them. She moved in closer, her hands coming up to his chest, and running down slightly, leaving sparks of spectacular sensation in their wake. Killian wondered if she could feel his heart pounding out an accelerated beat, but her face gave nothing away except that she wanted him. For his part, Killian had never wanted anything as much as Emma, but he waited, impossible as it was. He’d promised her tonight would be on her terms, and though it was torture for the few seconds that she paused in this moment, the sweet relief of her lips on his when she pulled him down for their first kiss was euphoric._

_The kiss started soft and slow and more than a little unsure. Emma’s move had been bold, but her embrace was less so, at least for the first few moments. He wondered if this was her first kiss, but then the thought flew away as she arched into him more. They were testing the waters, seeing if a kiss could live up to the promise between them, and it did. Honestly, it delivered so much more, and the feeling in Killian’s heart that was sparked by the kiss only solidified to him that Emma and he belonged together._

_“I lied,” Emma whispered when they broke apart for a moment. Killian tried to recall what they’d even been talking about, since he was so moved from that life-altering kiss, but then she clarified. “This was my favorite part. Hands down.”_

_“Agreed, love, but I think we can do better. Don’t you?”_

_He didn’t wait for her answer, stealing another kiss from her and chasing that same feeling of bliss all over again. Soon the two of them got lost in each other. There was a need that had long ago sparked between them, one they’d been dancing around all night. The chemistry they shared raged to an all-consuming degree, and Killian never wanted to stop. Her taste incited something primal in him. He never wanted to be without it, or without the feel of her pressed up against him. His fingers ran through her silky hair, then his hands came to hold her close, loving the way she felt beneath him and how open to this that she was. Emma was just as needy as he was, and ultimately the only thing that could break them apart was a loud yelling from the riding car below them._

“Hey buddy, are we gonna move at some point? This thing has been stuck for like ten minutes. I got places to be!” _The man who asked was clearly annoyed, and it was immediately apparent his ride around the wheel wasn’t going anywhere near as perfectly as Killian and Emma’s._

_“Oh my God,” Emma said, her eyes filled with laughter and residual lust from their shared kisses. “We’ve been stopped? I didn’t even notice.”_

_“It’s news to me too,” Killian admitted, but just as he was about to kiss her again, the ride came to life, and it appeared this was last call at the fair. They took one last loop around before they needed to get off, and by that time everything else was closing up. The festival of fun was winding down, and now there was nowhere to go but home._

_It was tough to bid farewell to this night, the first of what Killian hoped would be many to come, but he refused to let himself dwell on bad emotions. He knew without a doubt that this was just the beginning, and so he chose to be grateful and fulfilled at all that he and Emma had shared. Tonight had been magical, and it was only made more so by the fireflies lighting up their whole journey home. These lightening bugs seemed to follow them, illuminating the way where the moon and stars could not, and each time one flashed its yellow light, Emma looked more and more entranced. This, it seemed, was another first for Emma, and even Killian had to admit that the way they lit up the shadowed streets was picturesque. Still, when the moment came to say goodbye to Emma, Killian couldn’t bring himself to say the words. It felt wrong to leave her, and Killian didn’t know how he’d ever manage it. As for saying goodbye, it felt too final, and the weight of that word weighed heavily on his shoulders._

_“I had a great time tonight,” Emma said, the tone in her delicate voice telling him that she was being nothing but totally honest. “I don’t want to sound lame, but…”_

_Killian moved to cup her cheek when she cast her eyes away, seemingly embarrassed. He ran his thumb across her skin, feeling its gentle softness again, and noticing how it felt just as wonderful as the first time earlier tonight. God, the craziest part about all of this was that she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen, but she didn’t seem to notice it. Emma was blind to all the things that made her remarkable. She didn’t seem to understand that she was gorgeous or brilliant or extraordinary. She thought herself plain, when there was no one more wonderful the world over._

_“Emma, whatever you meant to say, I want to hear it. I want to know everything you’re thinking, and I promise that ‘lame’ is the very last thing I’d ever call a thought of yours.”_

_Emma melted into his embrace a little more, releasing a pent-up breath and relaxing into him. “It’s just… well if I’m really honest, tonight was one of the best nights of my life.”_

_It soothed him to hear her be so candid, and it invigorated him in a way he’d never been before. He felt like he could fly – hell, forget flying this was so much better! Having Emma care so much for him and open herself to what was growing between them was miraculous. He knew this was hard for her, and though again she’d shied away from speaking of anything too deep tonight, the little things she gave away had told Killian that normally Emma was cautious. Like him, she’d built up walls around herself, but her trust in the feelings between them had inspired her to try. She was taking a risk with him, and no matter what it took, Killian silently swore that he’d make that risk worth it for her, no matter what it took._

_Instinctively, he pulled her into him, wrapping his arms around her, and feeling the slender lines of her body mold against his. Having her close was of great comfort, but then she nestled in even closer and his heart lifted. She fit so perfectly with him, and when she was here, in his arms, it felt like a missing piece of who he was had returned. It might not be the part he lost when his mother passed, but it was another similarly important piece, one he’d never really had before. People might call him crazy, but he couldn’t help thinking, as he looked into Emma’s emerald eyes, that he was staring into the face of his future. He could see a whole life with Emma. Every milestone they were yet to face, he found he wanted to embark on with Emma at his side, and though he didn’t know how that could be yet, given that they lived a world apart most of the time, he knew he’d find a way._

_“Mine too. I don’t want to rush you, love, but I feel it’s only right to tell you that I’m in this. I’m all in, Emma. It’s you and me, as long as you’ll have me.”_

_“So it’s not just a one-time thing?” Emma asked, her voice trembling ever so slightly with the last of her fear._

_“No, love. It’s as far from a one-time thing as it can get. I want tomorrow and the next day. I want next week and next month. I want the whole summer and then thereafter. I want it all, and I know it’s ridiculously fast, but sometimes when you know, you know, and -,”_

_Whatever other words he had flew away the moment Emma pulled him down to kiss. They came together, just as hungry for each other as they were before, if not more, but now there was so much promise fused in with the embrace. In this kiss, Emma was telling him that she was on board with all his thinking. Even if he was crazy, it seemed she was just the same, and whatever this was, they were in it together._

_They stayed that way, tied together with heat and lust and the beginnings of what he had to see as love. This was too strong an emotion to be anything else, and when they broke apart, both trying to catch their breath, he could tell from Emma’s expression that she felt it too. He wouldn’t speak the words tonight, not when they’d already been moving so quickly, but Killian knew it was just a matter of time before he said them. And as Emma took her leave, heading back through the wrought iron gate, after promising to see him tomorrow, he felt a growing sense of certainty that she was the one. Now all he had to do was show her that, and make a plan to keep them together, no matter what may come._

**_Post-Note: So there we have it! I can’t wait to see what you guys thought of the chapter and Killian and Emma’s first date. Hopefully you enjoyed it, and if you did then I have good news for you: the next chapter is another date also from Killian’s view, but this time it’s in the present where we started the story. I think a lot more will be answered then, but there’s still a long way to go in unraveling the past and building their future. Anyway, thanks so much to all of you for reading and for your continued support. Hope you have a great rest of your weekend!_ **


	4. Chapter 4

**_A/N: Hey everyone! After a while away I am back with another chapter of ‘The Same Soul.’ If you’re like me, you might have needed a refresher, and since there are only three chapters before this it’s super easy to go back. Either way, I hope you will all enjoy this chapter. It is also from Killian’s POV but it takes place in the present, where Emma and Killian have just found each other again and Killian is determined to get Emma back with an epic date. Will he be successful? I think we can all guess the answer to that… Anyway thanks so much for reading and I can’t wait to see what you all think!_ **

_(Present)_

_You’re not dreaming. It was really her. She’s back. You’ve found her._

Coming to terms with all of these miraculous facts was next to impossible for Killian. For so long he’d been living a life ruled by ‘what-ifs,’ and the largest among them was what if things had never ended with Emma Swan. Emma was the one who got away in the story of his life, and there had never been a moment where he didn’t want to find her and at least know she was okay. There was never any closure between them, and for Killian there had never been any want for things to end in the first place. He loved her when he was a boy and that love hadn’t ever faded away, even when hope seemed lost. He’d largely pushed it aside to get through his day to day, but it was always with him – _she_ was always with him.

Seeing her again today at the court house, taking her in all these years later, he was struck by all of this weighty and incredible emotion. In some ways it was like no time had passed at all. All it took was the span of a heartbeat for him to be exactly where he was before, his heart racing, his hands shaking, his step a little unsteady. Emma made him feel like a teenager again, like he was really living in a moment for the first time in over ten years. The excitement and the nerves were familiar, but after so much time without them he was almost paralyzed by their presence. The only thing that kept him going was that he knew down to his very core that she was one for him. There had never been another for him like Emma, and there never would be as long as he lived.

Yet despite the familiarity of what he felt and how she acted at times, in other ways Emma was so different than the girl he once knew. He saw her now, a beautiful, gorgeous, confident woman in command of herself, and he couldn’t deny how much she’d grown, not just in looks but in spirit. Even when she was faced with him and the pains of their past, he could see her strength. She’d always been strong, of course, but Killian could see that all those walls that formed when she was just a girl had only fortified as time went on. She was cool and collected, and that seemed to make her almost untouchable. But when she smiled at him, and when she whispered her agreement to see him again tonight, all of that melted away. He could feel she was the same person he’d given his heart to years back, and now he just wanted to figure out a way to get them back on track again.

“You really know how to make an impression, don’t you Jones?”

The snarky words came from his last opponent of the day, one Regina Mills, who worked for the DA’s office. She was a haughty, hot-shot attorney with a regal state of mind, walking around the courthouse as if she were some queen instead of an assistant district attorney. Not that her record didn’t back her up. Since arriving at his firm here in Boston and being assigned this case he’d been told of ‘Her Majesty.’ Unfortunately for her, Regina’s legal capabilities had proven no match for his fervent effort today. She’d come at his client with a loaded docket of charges, all of them way off the mark for the petty theft that the sixteen-year-old defendant had actually committed, and that assuredness and borderline legal abuse had ultimately been her undoing. In the end, her hog-wild mentality allowed Killian to appeal to the judge that this was more a persecution of an already vulnerable youth instead of an actual attempt at procuring justice. Judge Hampson agreed and now Killian and the young ward in his firm’s charge were vindicated. Tonight, Thomas would be released, and thanks to Killian’s new connections in the system, he’d be in a stable home placement instead of at his previous group home.

“Seems I have today,” Killian agreed, finally responding to Regina but making sure to keep guarded even his tone was joking around. “Tell me, is it the losing you despise or is it the opposition in general?”

“Both,” Regina replied with a clipped tone, but despite her harshness, Killian could see she had some begrudging respect for him.

She’d never say it aloud, but Killian knew that no one got this far in the career with so many convictions without being able to see the workable parts of another lawyers’ process. To stay competitive, lawyers had to grow and change from their experience, and the enemy of success in this world was stagnation. Regina was undoubtedly successful, but she had underestimated him today, and now she knew she’d have to up her game. Not that she’d ever willingly admit that, seeing as she really thought herself a cut above the rest.

“It doesn’t matter though,” Regina quipped, bringing him back to their somewhat fatiguing interlude. “Because today was a fluke. I’ve yet to find an equal in this city, and if I ever do it’s certainly not going to be some British wannabe such as yourself.”

“Such praise on a first day, I’ll try not to let it all go to my head,” Killian replied dryly, but none of her intended barbs landed on him. If anything, they were just an annoyance, like the buzzing of a nearby fly on a hot summer’s day. He glanced down at his watch, knowing that Thomas’ release should be happening any moment, and that as soon as he’d reassured the boy that he was really in the clear he could be off. He had a huge night ahead of him, and there was still so much to check and finalize before he picked Emma up in two hours’ time.

Blessedly, Tiny, one of the bailiff’s that Killian had been chatting with today, chose that moment to return with Thomas, giving Killian the means to excuse himself and the time to see to his client. As a fifteen-year-old, Thomas still had his whole life ahead of him, and where some kids in his precarious position might be tempted to repeat the sins that had gotten him here today, Killian knew Thomas wasn’t one of them. Thomas was smart, and he’d learned quickly that life in prison was far worse than life in the broken system that was foster care. It broke Killian’s heart in many ways that there was no truly great situation that could come from all of this, but he was relieved at least when Thomas’ case worker appeared with his new foster family placement. The MacDonald’s looked like kind, stand-up people, and if they could give Thomas a safe place to land and a good amount of patience, Killian could see good things on the horizon for this boy. He’d also make it his business to check in that that was exactly what happened, but for the meantime he did have to depart, leaving Thomas in the care of people he trusted to do the right thing.

From there things went a bit haywire. Getting Emma to agree to this date was a miracle, but even if Killian believed Emma still had feelings for him as he did for her, there were no guarantees. Tonight was his one shot to show Emma how much she still meant to him, and to not only prove to her that he knew her then and now, but to inspire her to trust him again. During their summer together years ago they’d built that trust, but it was shattered in the end for reasons still unknown.

Okay, so maybe he did know, or at least know part of what had happened. The two of them had fallen for each other, finding a young love that burned so bright it transcended their age all together. They hadn’t needed five, ten, or twenty years to be certain of their feelings. It was instant and enduring. But unfortunately for both of them they were still kids. They had no ability to govern their own lives then, and when the summer came to an end, they had to leave each other. Emma was forced back to the city. Her group home was waiting, and as a sixteen-year-old foster kid, she had no choice but to go back. Killian too was bound for home, a place across the sea that immediately held nothing for him. After the soul crushing goodbye he shared with Emma, Killian hated London more than he ever thought possible and was determined to leave. He had three months still before he turned eighteen, and in the meantime he’d done everything he could to reassure Emma that just because they were apart didn’t mean that things were over. He wrote to her every day, sending letters with promises he was hell bent on keeping, but it turned out they never got to her. It took him a while to realize that, and by the time he did it was all too late. Emma had fled that place and that city all together, choosing the life of a runaway over the loneliness of the system she’d grown up in. And as much as her running had gutted him, Killian never blamed her for it. He only ever blamed himself for not giving Emma enough hope that he’d come save her as he promised.

That didn’t mean his grief was less intense or gaping when all was said and done. He hurt for a long, long time without Emma in his life, but she never really left him. Even when he was at his lowest, she was still there with him, not just in his heart and in his thoughts, but in the choices he made and the actions he took. She inspired him through all of it, and looking back, Killian knew she’d been the reason for so much of what he’d done since they were parted. She was why he’d worked so hard at school, and eventually followed in his Uncle’s steps into the law. She was why he never gave up, even when the path forward wasn’t easy. She was why he graduated top of his class at law school, and why he made the, to many people unbelievable, decision to specialize not just in family law, but in the defense of minors in particular. He’d turned down numerous big firm offers to work for the public defender’s office in Los Angeles, and now he had come to Boston to defend children here as well. He’d finally given in to his Uncle’s wish that he join a Jones-owned firm after years of saying no, but Killian finally accepted with the promise of resources and pro-bono hours that would allow him to expand the work he considered so necessary. 

As it was, his clients ranged in their needs, from kids in happier homes who’d run into trouble, to ones who had never known a family or only knew one that was dysfunctional and broken. Each of them had a different story to tell and a different set of goals for him to try and meet, but helping all of them was Killian’s way of trying to make up for his inability to help the one girl who’d mattered most to him: Emma. It was for her that he’d started this crusade to help those who could not truly help themselves, and he only hoped to show her that it was her inspiration that made any of his successes even remotely possible.

Killian thought of this all through getting ready and driving to Emma’s apartment, and he wondered how to approach the situation tonight. Instinct told him to be totally candid and to let her see his wishes right from the start, but he also realized that picking up where they left off would likely be impossible. More than a decade had passed between them, and they would have to address that. He only hoped that Emma would believe him when he said that his intentions hadn’t changed. He still believed she was the one, no matter where life may have taken her over the last however many years.

It was almost surreal parking his car out front of Emma’s place and hiking the steps to her apartment, when he finally arrived at her home. The anticipation inside him had him riled to such a dizzying state, but he willed himself to tamp it down. He couldn’t go in guns blazing. He had to play it somewhat cool and ease Emma back into the idea of letting love lead their way, but despite his best attempts at getting himself together, it was all for nothing. When the door opened, Killian was left without words or thought. All he had was awe and joy.

Seeing Emma now was like seeing her for the first time again all over, and it took a minute to realize that this was more than a dream or figment of his rampant imagination. Emma was here and she was breathtaking, making for a vision no fantasy could ever concoct. Her long, golden hair was pulled back, though that did nothing to remove the itch of his fingers to run through her soft waves he remembered so vividly. Her red dress was perfect, hugging every line and curve of her figure all while prompting his need to see more. But as ever, it was her eyes that did him in, and the look of her overall expression, which gave away a beautiful mix of shyness, bravery, and a desire to see him too.

“You made it,” Emma whispered, giving away a small moment of pure vulnerability and showing him how happy she actually was to see him again.

“I did, love. Just as I promised. You look…” Stunning. Transcendent. Glorious. All these words came to mind, but he found himself helpless to deliver a single one. He was actually struck speechless.

“I know,” she quipped, feigning total confidence as she swayed ever so slightly on her high red heels. The only tell that she wasn’t totally certain of what a bombshell she appeared to be was one of her hands, which ran shakily down the side of her dress. But her gaze stayed locked on his, a sign of courage he couldn’t help but admire. “And you look…” 

“I know,” he responded in kind, but there was no way his own attire for the evening could even begin to compare. In this duo, it was Emma who was the knockout, but just standing here in front of her helped him feel invincible and destined for greatness.

His continuation of her joke prompted a sparkle to appear in Emma’s eyes, a hint of mischief he’d missed so terribly. It colored their particular shade of green with just a bit more brightness, and he knew he’d never seen their likeness in all the rest of his life. When her eyes moved down, however, catching sight of the small gift he’d brought her, that sparkle shimmered into something even more pronounced. 

“Are these for me?”

“Aye, love,” he said, extending the bouquet which consisted of a mixed bunch of roses. 

The blossoms were all shades of red, not unlike the dress she wore, some well-kempt from being grown in green houses and indoor gardens, but it was the fuller ones that snagged his Swan’s interest, the wild ones that it had taken so much effort to find as he combed through florist inventories all over the city between appearances in court. He’d wondered for a bit at the choice, knowing that though Emma loved roses, there were other flowers she loved just as much, like daisies and sunflowers and buttercups. But the roses were symbolic, a small show to her that he remembered every piece of their history, and that he’d cherished the memory of each part for all the time they weren’t together.

“They’re beautiful,” Emma said, her eyes closing as she brought them up to take in their fragrant scent, and it was on the tip of his tongue to respond when her eyes flashed open again and she smiled at him before filling in his thought. “But you’re going to say they’re not as beautiful as me, I know, I know.” 

The easy comfort of this bit of their banter warmed him, but suddenly Emma looked stricken, as if she were embarrassed. It occurred to him that she might have jumped into the same comfort and ease he felt too soon for her to feel safe, and so he stepped closer to her, holding her waist with one hand and raising his other to cup her cheek.

“Your instincts have rarely been wrong before, love, and they certainly hold up now. That’s exactly where my thoughts were going. Don’t doubt that, all right?” 

Emma exhaled a shaky breath and nodded, and Killian felt he could breathe again as well. Belatedly he realized how close they now were, and though he wanted to continue holding her like this, he knew it was too fast. He took a step back, giving Emma her space again and missing the connection as he did. Emma clearly felt torn as well, but she took the opportunity to invite him in to the front hall of her place as she put the roses in water. He looked around, seeing little touches that felt so quintessentially Emma, and though his heart hurt at this being only the first time he’d ever been here, he was happy she’d made herself a place like this. A few minutes inside was all he needed to know that Emma had made herself a nest in the world where she felt free and true to herself, and Killian knew how much that meant to her after all the volatility she’d faced as a kid.

“Well, now that we’ve got all that out of the way,” Emma prefaced, her lips turning up into a wry grin as she came back from the kitchen and moved with him out into the hallway once again. “Care to tell me where we are going?”

“And ruin the surprise when I know how much you secretly love them?” he asked. This prompted an eye roll, another thing he’d missed so much, even if it was crazy to do so. But when she looked away instead of immediately meeting his gaze, Killian knew this was another place to tread lightly. “It’s up to you, Swan. If you want to know, I’ll tell you. But if you like some mystery, as I suspect you still do, then please, let me give you this.”

The softness of her gaze in response told him he’d read her exactly right. Emma didn’t hate surprises at all. For her, it was simply about trust. Not all surprises were good, after all, but with them he wanted the rest of their time together to always be positive. If it were up to him he’d shield Emma from any hurt and pain that may try to find her ever again, and he wanted her to know that he was only doing this to make her happy.

“You always know just what to say,” she admitted, and though all he wanted was to wrap her up in his arms and hold her close, he knew he had to take this slow. So instead, he offered her his hand, and when she immediately accepted by placing her hand in his, he felt bolstered in ways he'd nearly forgotten he could be.

Riding the high of having her with him, Killian led her to his car and made the journey to their destination. The time between them was filled with an understanding that while this wasn’t as easy it once had been, it could be. They didn’t talk in depth about the past though, and Killian knew he didn’t want to until he was certain Emma was ready. Instead he focused on the here and now, asking Emma about her job and her friends and her life here. 

“Work kind of is my life,” Emma confessed when faced with the questions. “I don’t know how it got that way, and I know it’s not exactly the most meaningful line of work -,”

“You bring bad guys back to justice when they get away, Emma. What could mean more than that?” 

“I don’t know. The police are the ones who solve the crimes, and the lawyers make sure perps do the time. I’m just a middle man.”

“Don’t sell yourself short, love. I’ve heard you’re the best at what you do in the whole city.” 

“Oh God, you met Ruby!” Emma exclaimed with a groan. “I totally forgot about that. Please tell me she didn’t hunt you down later at the courthouse. She has a habit of stopping at nothing when she senses a good story.” 

“And is that what we are, love? A good story?”

“Well yeah, of course,” Emma said, like it was obvious and making his chest swell with pride. “Especially to Ruby. She’s been hounding me about getting out and dating since I met her, and then you show up. It’s like her dream come true that something like this would happen.”

_Hers and mine,_ Killian thought to himself, though he kept that quiet. He was saved from having to comment more, by their arrival at the restaurant, and as Emma turned her attention to the place where they stopped, her jaw dropped in shock. So maybe she had heard of this place. He wasn’t quite sure if she would have. Misthaven was still a very new spot. It had been open less than a month, but the critics were all raving that it was the place to be in the whole tristate area. Lucky for Killian he had an in with the owner.

 “I hope you’re hungry, Swan. I’ve been told this place is ‘next level.’”

“Wait we’re really going here?” Emma asked and when he responded in the affirmative she gawked some more, allowing him time to open her door and lead her to the front. “Well I’m glad I dressed up. What the heck would you have done if I opened the door in jeans?” 

“Improvised,” he admitted. “Full disclosure I had a number of plans for tonight in case anything should go awry, or other inspiration should strike.” 

“Wait you did? Why?” 

“Because I’m determined to make this the best date either of us has ever been on, and maybe then I’ll have the pleasure of taking you on more.”

With his admission hanging between them in a comfortable span of quiet, the hostess led them to their secluded table across the restaurant. It was dimly lit in here, but the colors were warm and sultry. It set a mood that was exactly what he’d hoped for for the date, and the designer of the layout had been a genius, allowing couples to sit close together instead of across the table from one another. This was a great gift indeed, and it made the whole night feel more intimate. There was no unnecessary space left between them, and as the night progressed and one course turned into two and then three, Emma was the one who had grown bolder in their closeness. Maybe it was the ambiance around them, or perhaps it was the fact that he’d specifically pulled strings to get their personal menu to reflect gourmet versions of all of Emma’s favorite meals, but by the time they shared a decadent slice of twelve layer chocolate cake together, Emma’s hand rested on his leg as she fed him a piece with her own fork. 

“You’re doing it all wrong. You need the perfect balance of frosting, cake, and whipped cream. That’s the whole point,” she said, scolding him for his previous attempt to just take a random bite. 

“But it’s good just as it is,” he countered and she sighed as if he was the greatest of fools for thinking this.

“Sure it is, but who wants good when you could have great?”

“Who indeed, love?” he asked as his hand absentmindedly came up to touch her wrist as he took the bite she offered him. Sure enough she was right. The mix of ingredients and elements was perfect this way, and he hummed out a sound of contentment that ended up serving two purposes. Not only did it tell Emma she was right, but it also seemed to spark the same longing and want that he’d been grappling with all night in her. Her cheeks flushed at the sound, her eyes darkened ever so slightly, and he watched her swallow harshly.

“You’ve got a little something right there,” she whispered, motioning to his mouth and Killian licked his lips, watching her track the motion. He knew she wanted to kiss him as badly as he wanted to kiss her, and when she moved in closer Killian felt ready to combust. Finally after all this time they –

_“Sorry about the wait, mate. Kitchen’s been a bloody nightmare and – oh, shit. Sorry!”_

Killian tried not to growl as Emma pulled back at the interruption, and he didn’t need to turn to know that their new arrival was none other than his best friend, Will Scarlet.

“It’s fine, Will,” Killian said, taking Emma’s hand under the table and squeezing lightly before looking in her eyes and sharing a silent glance with her that told her he was not going to forget what had just almost happened. “Will, this is Emma. Emma, my friend Will. He’s the owner of Misthaven.”

Emma looked surprised at that, and now Killian full out smiled despite the lingering sense that his closest friend from college had just blown a moment he’d been waiting for forever. It did help a bit that Emma was shocked at Will’s success, because it proved the point he was always making to his friend – no one was ever going to take him truly seriously when he still dressed like a coed prepping for a Friday night foam party.

“Miss Swan, it’s a pleasure,” Will said, pouring on the charm and gallantry. Emma’s head tilted in confusion. “Ah, you’re wondering how I know your last name when he only called you Emma, but that’s an easy one. See Killian here has been talking about you as long as we’ve been friends, and that’s what, well about ten years now?”

“Give or take,” Killian said, playing it cool though his friend had just outed him for having a lingering infatuation with Emma all these years. Oh well. At this rate why bother hiding it? She had to know, and if she didn’t know now, then she would very soon. 

“Let me guess, you guys were fraternity brothers?” Emma stated, finding her confidence in no time and Will feigned complete horror. 

“Oh lass you wound me. Me, a member of an _American_ fraternity? A man of my stature sinking to such a level? A person in my position? -”

“Don’t let the dramatic acting fool you, love,” Killian murmured to Emma. “Will and I were not in a fraternity, but that didn’t stop him from participating in more than a few keg stands back in the day.”

“You slander me, Killian, and for that you’ll be hearing from my attorney. Oh bugger, that’s you. Well, I guess that’s that then. The ridicule stands.”

Emma laughed at Will’s antics, and though it wasn’t ideal to Killian, his friend stayed a bit longer with them, filling Emma in on some of the rougher scrapes the two of them had been in back at uni. Killian didn’t really mind though. After all, he had nothing to hide, and Will was as close to him as a brother. Liam embraced him whole heartedly too, considering him a member of their small but tight-knit family, and it felt as if Will had always been a part of the Jones clan, even if he had a family of his own to deal with. Honestly, it was Will’s moving here for the restaurant that finally made up Killian’s mind on a move to Boston, and since that was the case, he supposed he owed Will something for bringing him back to Emma. Still, Killian was thrilled when a mess in the kitchen called Will back into the fray of running things, leaving Killian and Emma to enjoy the rest of their dessert together before finally leaving the restaurant.

“I’ve had a lot of fun tonight,” Emma admitted, her hand fitting perfectly within his without any kind of hesitation as they walked back into the bustling streets of Boston once more. 

“I’m gladder than I can say to hear that, love. But it’s not quite over yet. We’ve one last spot to hit, that is, if you’re up for it.”

  
“Lead the way, Captain.”

The easy bit of teasing made Killian’s heart clutch, transporting him to a long-held joke between them. They’d had a habit of referring to each other as ‘Captain’ whenever one of them was clearly leading the way. It started as a kind of throwaway line, but there were many a night since losing Emma where Killian had dreamed of such a moment where she would call him that again. He felt the waves of relief that he’d finally gotten to experience it for real once more, and he only hoped that his taking charge tonight would pay off exactly as he was planning.

Despite the grandness of the endeavor before them, it didn’t take long to get to where Killian was trying to go. He’d been calculating when throwing this date together, and he knew he wanted this to be a quick walk for them instead of a long drive outside of the city. But he still needed space, space which was a rare commodity in a concrete jungle like this one. And out here by the waterfront, it was even more difficult to find a place to roam or stretch out, but with a lot of juggling, a little luck, and a substantial amount of bribery he was finally able to pull things off. 

In the end the only place where he could set up this final part of the evening was on private lands, land held by some rich Boston socialite with ties to the Mayflower that Killian had never actually met before. But that was where his Uncle Benjen came in. It turned out that this high roller was a longtime client of his, who Uncle Benjen had helped in more than one sticky situation. When Killian made the connection, he begged his Uncle for help, and his Uncle had freely given it without any kind of thorough explanation. Killian had literally only said that he had ran into Emma again today and that was enough for Benjen. There was nothing else needed, and within ten minutes his Uncle had secured a miracle: because not only could he use the land tonight, but the owners were actually leaving for the evening, spending a night in a hotel to give Killian and Emma whatever kind of privacy they wanted. 

Killian certainly appreciated that, and though they couldn’t be totally alone, given that this last adventure required some attendants, he’d been assured of discretion and no distractions. After all, he was paying what amounted to a crazy sum of money to get this all set up. It was more than a months’ salary, but Killian wouldn’t miss it. Not when he had more money than he could ever put to use thanks to his Uncle. Killian very rarely touched the money in the trust Benjen had created for him, but tonight was a definite exception, not because he thought Emma needed flashy or over the top, but because he would stop at nothing to deliver an experience deserving of this moment. And when they moved through the gate of the seaside estate and passed the tree line, revealing his surprise, Killian knew he’d made exactly the right call.

“A Ferris wheel,” Emma whispered, her voice so light, but imbued with so much emotion. “But how did you – I mean, we literally just found each other hours ago. How in the world could you get this together so quickly?”

“Magic,” Killian replied, and though Emma clearly knew that wasn’t the case, she accepted his answer, leaning into him and laughing, sounding just as care free and easy as she had when she was a girl at her first ever fair. 

Eagerly the two of them approached the entrance of the ride, and Killian shared a nod with the attendant. This told him that everything was ready as he wanted, and low and behold there it all was, awaiting them in the cart.

“Damn, you really thought of everything,” Emma marveled, taking in the flowers and the tiny white lights that lit up the carriage they’d be riding in. While she took in the tiny details, Killian adjusted the blanket there for them to share, and then he opened the parcel that he knew held one of Emma’s favorite things.

“Fried Dough?!” Emma asked, accepting his offered piece as he wrapped her arm around her. She immediately snuggled closer to him, and damn if that wasn’t the best feeling in the whole wide world. 

“Well what’s a Ferris wheel ride without a little fair food?” 

“God I’ve missed this,” Emma said, her eyes closing as she let out an appreciative moan the first time she tasted the sweet treat. Killian felt his muscles all tighten, his own yearning for her ramped up by so much from just this little sound, and when she offered him a bite, he took it, savored it, but ultimately knew it would never be as sweet as Emma was herself. Yet even this special, sensual exchange was nothing compared to how he felt when she looked back up at him and continued speaking. “And I don’t just mean the food, or the fun of a Ferris wheel. I missed this thing between us. I missed you.”

“There was never a day when I didn’t dream of finding you, Emma,” he admitted as he moved to hold her more securely. “And I know that things are different. I’m no fool. I realize life has taken our paths in seemingly varying directions, but I can’t help but feel the fates at play here. I hated ever being apart, I never wanted it to be that way, but I have to believe we were meant to be together in the end. I know finding you again today was no mistake. It can’t be.”

“No, it’s not a mistake,” Emma agreed, her hand coming up to rest above his heart. “This was meant to happen. If it wasn’t, I wouldn’t feel as much as I do now.”

“And what is it you feel, love?” He asked, his fingers running through her hair as he moved to cup her cheek.

“I’m scared, Killian. Scared to do this again. Scared to want you so badly. But more than anything I’m scared that this is somehow all a dream and that any second I’m going to wake up and you won’t be here. Or that maybe I’ll mess this up and you’ll leave again, when that’s the last thing I’d ever want to happen.”

“What happened in the past… well, it’s in the past, love. It’s no one’s fault, it’s just the way that it is,” he said, wanting her to understand that he never ever blamed her for any of it before he said this next part. “And as for my leaving, there’s nothing that could ever be done that would drive me away, Emma. I’ve lived a life without you, a life that never felt quite right, or whole, or happy, and I don’t want to do that again. I don’t think I’m strong enough.”

“So what do we do?” Emma asked quietly.

“What do you want to do?”

Killian wasn’t sure what he expected or hoped for in that moment, but it never would have exceeded Emma’s response. Instead of speaking, she showed him what she wanted by pulling him in for a kiss that had been twelve years in the making. It had been ages since he’d held her in his arms like this, tasting her, and loving her with everything he had, but it came so naturally. It moved from something sweet and soft to charged and wanting. Both of them were desperate for closeness and to eradicate that sense of how long it had been. They were making up for lost time, trying to catch up on so much that they’d missed, and though that couldn’t be achieved in one night, Killian knew they were well on their way to finding heaven again. Hell, with Emma safe and well in his arms, it felt like he’d already found it after years of being cast out in the darkness.

“I think…” Emma tried to collect herself after a few mind-blowing kisses, and to choose her words wisely as she let him know where she currently stood. “No I don’t think, I _know_. I know that I want to try. Even if I’m scared, and even if something happens and it doesn’t work out and I end up hurt again -,”

  
“Nothing’s ever going to hurt us again, love. I’ll make sure of that,” he said immediately, and Emma smiled, tears misting over in her eyes as she nodded. 

“Well even if it did, I know this – us – we’re worth it. I want to see where this goes, Killian, and I want to go there with you. Only you.”

So with that, the two of them lingered in the rest of a gorgeous evening, spent stealing kisses on a Ferris wheel and marveling at the boats out in the harbor that they could see from the top of their ride. And eventually, when the night was done, and when Killian dropped Emma off home, kissing her soundly and promising to see her again tomorrow, there was no hollowness or emptiness or worry. Because even if they might not be together right in this moment, there was no doubt that they soon would be, and Killian was going to do whatever it took to get them to a place where they not only had forever, but they got to face forever always side by side.

**_Post-Note: So I know it took me a long time to get this new chapter out, but I am hoping that you all will think it was worth the wait. I am really excited about this story because I have a lot left to explore both in the past and the present. Next chapter (if my plan holds up) will be from Emma’s POV also in the present, but in the aftermath of this latest date. Because we have yet to see Emma’s perspectives on any of Killian’s cute romantic displays. Hopefully the wait for this chapter will be less than the last, but unfortunately I can’t make any promises. Just know I will write as soon as I can and share as soon as I’m able. As always, thanks so much to all of you for reading, and I hope you have a great rest of your day!_ **


	5. Chapter 5

**_A/N: Hi everyone! So after a long spell away traveling and working (both of which I am still currently doing), I finally found a chance to reengage with this cute little story that I started this summer. It’s been so nice to slip back into this headspace and this AU, and I am so excited to share with you guys all the cuteness it has in store. This chapter picks up the morning after Emma and Killian’s reunion date from Emma’s POV, but if you’re like me you’ll probably need to go back and reread to remember what exactly is happening. Either way, I really hope that you enjoy and thanks so much for reading!_ **

_(Present)_

_Never had a person so full of hope slept so terribly._

Okay, so maybe that was an exaggeration, and honestly Emma had no way to measure that claim, but it felt true this morning as she lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling after only a few hours of restful sleep.

She’d been awake until the wee hours of the morning reliving each moment of the date last night over and over again. Each one felt etched in her memory forever, and to be honest, their evening together had been better than any dream she might have had. Part of her was scared to go to sleep, for maybe she would find that all of this was a mere fantasy, if a very vivid one, but somehow it was real. Knowing that, and waking up this morning with a clear sense that this was actually happening, Emma felt a resurgence of emotions, almost all good, proving to Emma so many things. Most importantly it showed her that the feeling she always carried in her heart, the one that said that she and Killian were never really over, was valid. Killian didn’t just tell her that last night, he showed her with his thoughtfulness and kindness as well as his passion and persistence. He gave her no choice but to believe, and believe she did.

It occurred to her at last that she was smiling, and not some benign, mild grin, but a cheesy, goofy, lovestruck one that made no attempt to hide her happiness. She lifted the blankets above her face and groaned, pretending for a moment that she didn’t want to feel this way, but the smile remained. There was just no shaking it, just like there was no shaking the butterflies that swarmed throughout her very being, or the feel of Killian’s kiss that still lingered on her lips. She was changed by the happenings of last night, altered in a way that she didn’t know she could be, and the world, as a result, seemed more than just a little brighter.

“I wish he was here,” she whispered aloud to herself, her eyes casting towards the window, as she wondered what the man she’d always missed was doing right now. Then it dawned on her that she didn’t have to imagine. She had his number and strict instructions from him to text or call whenever she wished. She laughed a little, thinking of his insistence on that last night.

_“I mean it, Emma. If you need me at any time I’ll always answer. No matter what. You have my word.”_

She’d wanted to tease him for that earnestness, to remark on the determined look that took over his face just as it used to when they were kids, and to remind him that she was hardly in the throws of crisis. Whatever need she had to see him could wait. She had no emergencies she knew of looming on the horizon, but the words would never pass her lips. There were a few reasons for her silence, but the strongest of them all was simple: she loved his willingness to give her access to him, because she’d been without that for far too long. She might not need anything, but she _wanted_ so much. She yearned for the chance to be with him, speak with him, and grow comfortable again in what they’d always had together. So instead of making jests or playing off his kindness with something shaped like snark, Emma had instead just smiled softly, feeling her cheeks heat from the unrestrained regard that he was showing her before pressing a soft kiss to his cheek.

Absentmindedly her fingertips came to cover her mouth, her brain playing back the sensation of the stubble that lined his jaw along with the smooth skin underneath. That had been different. He never had a beard as a kid, but Emma liked it. She more than liked it really, and again she felt herself getting hot and bothered and a bit too gooey for her liking over just the thought of this new Killian she was finally getting to meet.

Before she could talk herself out of it, she reached over to the nightstand, grabbing her phone and typed a word of greeting to him.

_E: Woke up missing you this morning. Thanks again for last night._

She pressed send without letting herself think too much of the weight of her statement, and before any regret at her candor could appear, the response bubble showed up on her screen, his reply so instantaneous she had to wonder if he’d been about to text her himself.

_K: I’m not sure ‘miss’ is strong enough for what I feel. It feels wrong to be without you, Emma. I have had no thoughts all morning that didn’t come running back to you._

Emma’s heart skipped at his words and she felt the faintest pressure at the back of her throat. Much more of this and she’d get teary eyed, but she didn’t hate it. It felt too good to hate this, even if she hadn’t been this vulnerable or emotional in more years than she cared to count.

_E: We should fix this. Breakfast?_

She posed the question truly hoping that she could see him as soon as possible, but she didn’t expect her phone to light up with the signal of him calling her.

“Hello?”

_“Emma,”_ Killian said, and she swore she could hear the relief in his voice.

“So did you like the breakfast idea, or…?” She asked, this time making no attempt to hide her teasing. 

_“I’d like nothing more, love, but unfortunately I’ve got court all morning.”_  

“Oh right, I forgot. You’re not like me – you’ve got an actual 9 to 5 job,” she said, trying to hide her disappointment and slight embarrassment. As her own boss she set whatever hours she wished and after scoring as big a skip as August Booth yesterday, Emma could go quite a while without really intense work of any kind.

_“Aye, I do. Well mostly. But tonight I swear I’ll make it up to you.”_

“Killian, you don’t have to do that,” she insisted. “I know how much your work means to you, and I know how much it means to your clients. There’s no way you stick to normal hours, you’re probably working all the time, so if you don’t want to get together tonight -,”

_“I do. Absolutely, one hundred percent,”_ he interrupted, forcefully informing her of his desire and making her laugh as he did. 

“Okay, great, but just know that I’d never blame you for working. I think what you do is just about the most honorable thing a person can do. I…” she trailed off, her voice more thoughtful as she confessed the last part. “I’m really proud of you.”

Emma listened as a sound murmured through the phone call that was a cross between a masculine purr and an animal’s growl, and she felt a warm thrill shoot through her. She knew exactly how Killian would look right now. He would be on edge, fist curled up in a ball and shoulders tense, trying to think of a way to get to her even though he shouldn’t. He had responsibilities, and she had meant what she said whole heartedly. She was proud of him and she would never resent the good that he did for others on a daily basis. 

_“You don’t make it easy, love.”_

“Excuse me?” she asked, intrigued to know what he meant. 

_“All I want is to come to you, sweep you off your feet, and run away with you at any given moment, and then you say things like that and…”_ he was silent for a while, and she practically felt his passion through the phone as she waited for him to finish explaining what he meant. _“Let’s just say there’s not a being in the world more tempting than you, love.”_

“Well what’s the old saying? Absence makes the heart grow fonder?”

_“I hate that saying,”_ he rebutted and she sighed.

“Me too,” she whispered, barely loud enough to be heard before she rallied and put on a braver face. “But tonight’s not _so_ far away, is it?”

_“Let’s agree to disagree,”_ he countered and she smiled again, though she managed to bite back the laugh at his surliness. In the background she heard a knocking sound, likely someone at his office door, and Killian told them to wait a moment before he addressed her again. _“I’ll come to you tonight, love. I’ll text you when I’m leaving.”_

She agreed to that, not needing details about what they’d do or where they’d go. She’d be happy with anything, as long as she had him beside her. 

Jumping out of bed, Emma went about her morning routine. She got as ready as she needed to on a slow, mid-week morning with no real plans, and then headed towards the kitchen. But just as she was passing the front corridor, a knock sounded. She jumped, not expecting anyone this time of day (or really ever if she were honest), but a look through the peep hole was all she needed to start smiling again. Opening the door she saw what awaited her.

“Delivery for Emma Swan,” the young man announced, handing her a tray with a coffee and pastry bag from her favorite nearby spot. Then he produced a mix of summer flowers, and told her they were courtesy of Killian Jones like it wouldn’t be obvious to her. 

With barely more than a thank you, Emma accepted the gifts, heading back inside and locking the door behind her. The sweet smell of the flowers filled the air around her, and then she got a whiff of the coffee and blueberry muffin and she nearly moaned aloud. This was perfect, and it was made all the better because it showed yet again that Killian was paying attention. She’d recommended this tiny corner café as a throwaway last night, not really thinking about it, but Killian made a note and made her feel so special as a result.

_These are the kind of things that make me love him._

The thought was so natural, Emma didn’t even think about it for a moment, instead digging into the bag and taking off a piece of the melt in your mouth muffin, but when she realized where her mind was moving so surely and instinctively, she stopped suddenly. Love, as in the present tense. It was a shocking thing. Killian had been back in her life for less than 24 hours, but so naturally she’d used that precious four-letter word. And the thing was she felt it; that love she always had was still absolutely in her heart, but the voice that told her to be cautious was back. This was fast, _really_ fast, no matter how long they’d known each other, and yes, she trusted Killian, but she could she really trust herself?

Much as she might not like to let these thoughts linger, Emma couldn’t quite escape them as the morning went on. She finished her breakfast, sent a thankful text to Killian for his sweetness, and then did some house hold chores and all the while she told herself not to overthink it, and to just trust in something that would make her really happy, but still the anxiety lingered. She could have suppressed it and just tried to push through, something she had learned how to do over the years better than most, but Emma knew that she couldn’t run or avoid these worried feelings and expect things to be okay. The only way to get rid of them was to really process them, and as such, she really had only one choice. She had to go to a trusted source and talk this out, and there was only one person who she currently held in such high esteem who could help her do that.

Luckily the commute to that source of reflection wasn’t anything too trying, and all it took was a quick trip in her car and a picturesque walk up a well-manicured lawn at a spacious old New England estate. This had once been a place defined by luxury and class, home to a family that had probably come over on the actual Mayflower, but in recent years the home had been sold off and then converted from a once stately manor to a now cozy and comfortable assisted living home, filled with residents who were older, but no less happy at this stage in all their lives. Emma, being a somewhat regular at this home, was greeted not only by staff, but by residents as well, but none of them made her feel as welcome or as immediately comforted as the one she came to see.

In the moments before Mrs. Hubbard noticed her arrival, Emma thought not for the first time how fortunate she was to have this woman in her life. She had been a kind soul during that fateful summer at camp, and she always made Emma feel like a special and worthy young girl, but Mrs. H’s empathy and courtesy went so much further than that. When Emma was at her lowest point, having nowhere to go and a real risk of landing on the streets, she’d found Mrs. H again, and the older woman had given everything she could to help Emma land on her feet while still largely paving her own way. Mrs. Hubbard granted Emma agency, helped her find a job, and finish school, all while slowly laying down a sense of trust Emma really needed. She’d always been alone, and losing Killian not so long before had amplified that to a harrowing extent, but Mrs. H rose to the challenge of Emma’s walls and fear. She stuck by her and was a constant support, and now, all these years later, Emma knew that they were really each other’s only family. Mrs. H’s husband had died years ago, and they’d never had children, but Emma always felt that was a terrible shame given how much love and strength Marie Hubbard had to give.

“Oh, Emma! I was so hoping you would come today,” the older woman said with a warm and genuine smile as Emma came to give her a big hug. She was genuinely thrilled to see Emma, as she would be on any day at any time, yet Emma could see that the gears in Mrs. Hubbard’s mind were turning. She was up to something, and Emma knew what that likely meant. 

“Let me guess, Mrs. Johnson’s grandson is visiting again?”

“Ha ha,” Mrs. H quipped, though Emma knew she wasn’t too far off.  She waited her old friend and mentor out, knowing that this woman who was the closest thing she had to family was going to cave and tell her soon enough. “I’ll have you know it’s Carl MacDonald’s grandson, and he’s not here quite yet. He’s coming at noontime for lunch.”

“Much as I might like to be blindly set up…” Emma joked, but she trailed off, not able to even really engage with the idea. Mrs. H immediately picked up on the change in her behavior and bombarded her with a stream of questions.

“Emma, what’s happened? What’s going on? Are you all right?”

Was she all right? Well yes, but truthfully she could be so much more if she’d just allow herself to try. That’s why she was here – to try and get to a place where she was brave enough to go for it.

“He’s back,” she whispered, and though it took a few seconds for Mrs. H to follow, Emma knew she didn’t have to specify who ‘he’ was. There was only one man she’d ever spoken to Mrs. H about over the years that they’d been connected, and only one person she’d ever be so immediately affected by. 

“Killian? _Your_ Killian?” Emma nodded. “But how did he find you?”

Emma explained how yesterday’s events had transpired, and the looks that flashed across Mrs. H’s face spoke volumes. She was shocked, excited, and so exceedingly pleased that by the time Emma had finished giving her a brief rundown of their date, she was clapping her hands together like a little girl. She bounced in her seat and scooted closer, as if by doing so she could more fully invest in this new happenstance.

“So, when are you seeing him again?”

“I’m supposed to see him tonight.”

“Supposed to?” Mrs. H asked confused, and Emma looked away, feeling the shame of her own fear. Of course Mrs. H would see this as a given. Anyone in their right mind would. Here was the one who’d gotten away back in Emma’s life again, somehow grown into a person she could feel even more for, and she was hesitating. Despite what she had promised him last night, she was wobbling on her ability to give herself to him again. What kind of person did that? How broken and damaged and –

Mrs. H grasped Emma’s hand and pulled it to her, forcing Emma to look back to the person she trusted most throughout these last ten years. In her eyes there was understanding, but where Emma expected to see judgment, there was none, only sympathy and earnestness.

“Emma, dear, I know you’re not always pleased when things get emotional, but do an old lady a favor and indulge me, okay? I want you to think to yourself right now everything that you’re feeling. Look each thought right in the eyes and put a name to it.”

Emma had heard this tactic before, especially when first coming to Mrs. H for help, and she was well acquainted with the process by now. In her head she ran through all of her thoughts, good, bad, and the murky gray that lay there in between. She narrowed it down to three main contenders: hope, joy, and fear. 

“Now, I want you to push every other one of those thoughts away. They’ve had their time. For now, all I want you to tell me is what you feel when you think of Killian. What’s the first thing you associate with him?” 

“Love,” Emma admitted, and she realized she was saying this out loud for the first time in years.

“Now is this love in the past, the present, or the future?”

“Well we’re definitely two for three,” Emma joked, and though Mrs. H humored her with a smile, she remained quiet until she heard what Emma really had to say. “It’s all of them. I’ve loved him all this time, and I can’t imagine a time when I won’t. He’s just…”

Words didn’t do Emma’s feelings justice. Nothing seemed like enough to express the discombobulated jumble in her heart and in her soul. It was riotous and chaotic, but somehow also peaceful and soothing. It made her wish for more than she had in a long _long_ time, but also had her fearing that she could lose everything she’d worked so hard for. It was too much and not enough, strong and subtle, terrifying and magical, and with all of that bubbling up inside her, Emma found herself at a loss for any coherent turn of phrase. 

“He’s your true love, honey.” 

“Is that what the kids are calling them these days?” Emma asked and Mrs. H guffawed at her.

“You joke, Emma, but you know I’m right. That man is written in your heart and in your soul. You’re tied together and that’s the way it was meant to be,” Mrs. H said with conviction. “But just because a love is true and worth chasing doesn’t mean it won’t scare the bejezus out of you.” 

Emma laughed at the dated word choice and she felt a little of her tension go. It helped a lot to feel like she wasn’t crazy, and like maybe everyone felt a little fear when it came to love, no matter who they were or what the situation.

“So what do I do? About the fear, I mean?” 

“You tell that voice inside your head that’s scared and worried and telling you to run or build up more walls that you’re not interested in that life anymore. You’re grown now. You’re strong, smart, and kind. You have roots and you have purpose, and most importantly, Emma, you have a beautiful, generous heart. You have love to give, and this man, he’s worthy of it. He was worthy then and by all accounts he is worthy now. So you tell the fear to take a hike, and you jump. You take the risk and you reap the rewards.”

“And if it all goes south?” 

“It won’t, I promise you that. It’ll all be exactly as it should be,” Mrs. H said sternly, before squeezing Emma’s hand once more. “Have I ever made you a promise I couldn’t keep?”

Emma shook her head, “No, ma’am.”

“Exactly, and right now I promise that you can trust yourself.”

“I know I can,” Emma admitted. “I did last night and still this morning. I felt myself give in and believe so much, but it’s hard to remember that things are different. It doesn’t have to be like last time.”

“No it does not,” Mrs. Hubbard agreed. “We are none of us defined by who we were or what once happened. Every day is a new start, every moment a fresh chance. So take this moment for what it is – a second shot at the love you deserve.”

“You always know just what to say,” Emma said, the sting of tears playing at her eyes, even though she wouldn’t let them fall. 

“That’s called wisdom, honey. It comes with age, right between the arthritis and the cataracts.”

Both of them laughed at the joke and Emma felt herself releasing all her unwanted tension, choosing again to side with hope over fear. As she did that, she also enjoyed the rest of her time with Mrs. H, musing about the would be future a little more, before adequately distracting the older woman with chatter about her fellow nursing home residents. But even when Emma left later, she still felt herself riding high. The smiles were back, as were the butterflies and the not so subtle surge of hope. This was probably what people meant when they used the term love struck, but for Emma it seemed to be her natural state whenever she had the promise of Killian in her life.

Throughout the day she and Killian were in contact via text, and all the while he made her laugh and somehow miss him more, so much that she didn’t know how she’d wait until the end of the day. Then he texted her that he only had one case left and Emma had a bright idea – instead of waiting for him to get to her, she could use this chance to see him sooner and get a little preview of his work. The thought had her moving so quickly that her walk to the courthouse took half the time it normally would, and by the time she got there she was so eager to see him, she completely forgot about the one thing that stood in her way.

“Oh I knew it! I totally knew it!” Ruby yelled from behind the clerk’s desk and Emma whipped her head to her new friend and shushed her, trying to avoid the stares that were all now thrown their way. “You and Killian totally hooked up!”

“We did not!” Emma stressed, fighting off a blush as best she could. 

“You didn’t?” Ruby asked, looking almost dejected before rallying again. “Well something had to happen to put that look in your eyes and that pep in his step. I heard that man whistle today, Emma. He whistled!”

“So he’s here?” Emma clarified, looking towards the court room doors and wondering which judge he was in front of for this case.

“Mhmm, and I’ll be sure to tell you where he is as soon as you tell me everything.”

“We had a date,” Emma confessed, feeling less embarrassed than she thought she would. Instead it was actually kind of fun to dish like this. She honestly couldn’t remember the last time she had shared with anyone other than Mrs. H, and Ruby was the most willing of recipients. 

“And…?”

“And it was… perfect,” Emma admitted, spilling a bit more without getting into the weeds. She told Ruby that they’d reconnected after years apart and that the date went so well they were planning for another one tonight.   

“Girl I should hate you right now. Good looking man like that with the job and the accent and the whole ‘bad boy with a heart of gold’ thing going?” Ruby quipped, flipping her hair dramatically as she fanned herself with her other hand before breaking into a grin. “But honestly, I just can’t. I’ve known you too long now to doubt that you deserve this. Seriously, Emma, it’s good to see you so happy.”

“Thanks, Ruby,” Emma said, really appreciating the kindness from this other woman.

“But rekindled love or not, don’t think you’re getting out of that girls’ night on Saturday. We don’t discriminate and even the happily settled girls have to come.”

“I wouldn’t exactly say it’s settled,” Emma said, trying to curb some of Ruby’s enthusiasm even though she felt that settled was definitely on the way.

“You keep telling yourself that,” Ruby joked before pointing down the right side of the hallway. “And in the meantime, you’ve paid the toll. He’s in court room three and their arguments just started.”

Emma thanked Ruby before heading towards the big oak doors that held Killian’s current trial. She saw that the prosecution was just finishing their summation and set up for the day’s hearing, and she picked up a few details. This was a case against a teenage girl who had stolen something, and from the sound of things, the state wanted her charged in a really exorbitant way. That on it’s own seemed wrong to Emma. She was so young, and there didn’t appear to be any priors, but it was made worse by the fact that they also didn’t want to try her immediately. They claimed they needed more time, and Emma could truly empathize on how scary that must be. Being arrested and charged would be bad enough, but getting stuck in limbo for a while before there was any resolution? Well that was just awful.

“Objection, your honor!” Killian exclaimed, interrupting the defense’s half assed explanation of why a delay was needed. “Opposing counsel is attempting to waste all of our time with delays and continuances, and that’s after overblowing charges when the act in question truly amounts to a misdemeanor at best.”

“Your honor –,” the prosecutor attempted to intervene but was shot down.

“Not now, Ms. Mills. Much as you might not like it, the defense is entitled to make an argument. That’s how the law works. It’s give and it’s take until it’s judgment. Continue Mr. Jones.”

Emma saw the prosecutor go rigid, her stance angry and hostile, and that made Emma happy. She actually smiled at the other woman’s displeasure, and she was sure Killian wanted to as well, but he stayed totally professional as he pressed forward.

“Thank you, your honor. What the prosecution fails to grasp while they strive for these underhanded motions, is that time isn’t a luxury for all of us. My client is in her last year of high school and every day she’s here is one less she gets credit for. But more importantly, my client and her little sister are both in placement at Brownings House right now, and the longer this case drags on, the longer she is held on trumped up charges or burdened with the lengthy process of this court, the more likely it is they’ll fill her spot, separating these two girls from the only family either of them have.”

“So what are you requesting counselor?” the judge asked.

“If this thing is going to go to trial, your honor, which we argue is in itself ridiculous, let it be now. Every day we wait is an unnecessary risk, and we’re confident the law will prevail, but only if this trial is conducted with speed as well as justice.”

The judge ruled in Killian’s favor, moving the proceedings on, and right as Killian was about to sit down again he saw her, his eyes honing in on her before he sent a boyish grin her way. Emma felt her stomach clutch in anticipation and she felt a mix of enjoyment and pride, and that only amplified as the trial went on. Killian was so in control, so agile in his argument, but empathetic in his pleading on the behalf of this young girl. He was in his element like this, a showman but only because the case deserved it, and by the time that it was all said and done, the case was thrown out by the judge and Killian had come out on top. That was admirable any day, but when it gave a kid their life back it was truly something special. Emma felt blessed to witness it all, watching the happy embrace the girl gave Killian before she hugged her younger sister who was seated right behind her, crying happy tears of sheer relief.

“Emma, love, I didn’t expect you,” Killian said when he could finally break away, coming to her as soon as he had thanked the judge, exchanged parting jabs with the prosecutor, and seen his charge into the care of her social worker.

“That makes two of us. What you did just then, that was amazing.”

“You think so?” Killian asked, his hand coming to scratch behind his ear in a slight show of bashfulness.

“I do. Some might even call it heroic.”

“Well the ‘some’ have never been of interest to me. Now, _you_ on the other hand, that’s a different story.” 

“I think it’s safe to say that to those two girls you’re a hero,” Emma said, watching as both sisters headed out of the court room. “And I share their opinion, one hundred percent.”

“Damn I wish I could kiss you right now,” Killian growled out and Emma felt the thrill of his want rip through her at his admission.

“Why can’t you?” Emma asked, and no sooner had she said the words than Killian pulled her towards him and brought his lips to hers. 

The kiss was sure, sweet, and steamy as could be. It was hardly appropriate for a courtroom, but Emma didn’t care. She arched closer, meeting him beat for beat, and soon enough everything else faded away. She forgot where they were entirely, giving into the feel of his hands on her and the taste of this sweet embrace. It was captivating in a way that couldn’t be denied, and the only thing that brought either of them back to themselves was the purposeful and overstated clearing of someone’s throat at the doorway.

“Hate to break this, uh, special moment, up, but thought you both might like to know that Ruby’s gotten wind of this and she’s zeroing in now. If you want to make a getaway, now’s probably your only chance” 

“Good looking out, mate,” Killian said to the bailiff, straightening up a bit though the light sparkling in his eyes held the same mix of lust and mischief that he’d had just before the kiss began. “Shall we, love?”

“Absolutely." 

Killian offered his hand to her and Emma readily accepted it, rushing out beside him and having such fun making a getaway like this was some big, epic thing. But beneath the fun and the frill of the moment, Emma’s real happiness came simply from being with Killian. And though she didn’t know where they were heading or what the rest of the night may hold, she couldn’t wait to experience it and to treasure every moment that the two of them now had the chance to share. Because Mrs. H was right when she called this a second chance, and Emma, for her part, had no intention of squandering it.

**_Post-Note: So there we have it! Sorry it took so long to get this chapter to you all but I hope you have enjoyed and that you’ll continue on the story with me. Next chapter will also be from Emma’s POV but back in the past, and as of now we’re only about half way through what I envision for this fic. Much more to come, and thankfully, at least in my view, it’s all fluff and cuteness. Thanks so much for reading and hope you all have a great weekend!!_ **


	6. Chapter 6

**_A/N: Hey all! So after a few months away from this fic, I am back and more ready than ever to tell this story. I love a fic that takes place in both the present and the past. It’s a really fun thing for me and I hope you all feel it adds some good context and dynamic to this AU overall. In this chapter we are back in the past, during the summer that Killian and Emma first met, and it’s been about a month since their first date. It’s a fluffy chapter to be sure, but there’s some moments that might have just a touch of angst. And that’s all I should say, don’t want to spoil too much. Anyway, hope you enjoy and thanks so much for reading!_ **

_(Past)_

Today is going to be a really good day.

_It was the first coherent thought that crossed through Emma’s mind this morning as she woke with the sun, stretching her still sleepy limbs across the softness of her mattress. She was thrilled at the prospect of today, and grateful to have a totally free and clear Saturday. Because there was no camp on the weekends, Emma was left to her own devices, and, as with most other free days that she’d had here this summer, she was going to spend that time with someone she now couldn’t imagine not being in her life._

_Even the thought of seeing Killian sent a rush of warmth through her, and Emma knew if she looked in a mirror right now her cheeks would be flushed a noticeable shade of pink. She never blushed before, schooling herself to keep all of her feelings as contained as possible,  but it was unavoidable with Killian. He just got to her in a way no one else ever had. He was charming, yes, and he was also crazy cute, so much so that he distracted her both when they were together and apart, but he was also thoughtful and attentive and patient in a way that let Emma know that he cared for her while also giving her breathing room to be whoever she wanted to be. Emma craved that specific blend of connection and freedom after years of being on her own, and she didn’t know how the hell he managed to understand her so well, but she’d started thinking of Killian as the ‘Emma whisperer’ in her secret musings these past few weeks._

_For all her life, or at least as long as she could remember, Emma had been called closed off. The case workers assigned to monitor her and the people at the homes she stayed in said good things about her independence and self-reliance, but at the end of the day it was her guarded nature that people commented on most. That was purposeful, a defense against heartbreak that Emma learned long ago. If she kept people at a distance, and managed all of her expectations, she wouldn’t grow attached and wouldn’t feel disappointment. This made the way things were now so foreign to her. Emma had never woken up each day looking forward to the present. All her life she had been stuck, caught up in the flow of the small but unsteady existence she led. She had nowhere to belong and no one to belong to, and being so unmoored made it that much harder to invest in the good things in life. But this summer that was all beginning to change._

_Part of it was this place, this corner of the world that was so serene and green and lively. It was so much quieter than the city she had always known, but no less alive. The woods out here were teeming with life, with birds and bugs and all sorts of creatures Emma felt like she’d never quite get used to seeing and she loved it. Every day was new, but it also felt routine. That was something Emma never really had, and so it calmed her, just as much as her nearly day trips to the coastline did. Watching the waves come in and out and hearing them lapping on the shore helped her center herself, and getting lost on the well trod paths out in the woods somehow made her feel more found than she ever had. She felt safe in this magical location, but so much of that sense safety also came from Killian._

_It was hard to put into words why that was. There were so many little things, so many actions tied up in words and moments she would cherish forever, but it had been about month since she met him, and Emma swore each day her walls crumbled just a little bit more. There was so much between them now, and no one in the world knew her like Killian did. She had shared her thoughts, her dreams, and her hopes, and that was a huge thing for her because sometimes, in her darkest moments, she wondered if those wishes were worth having. Life had been hard, but this summer was a lesson in the goodness that could exist too, and when she thought of goodness Emma’s mind always started and stopped with Killian. She saw his smile, she heard his laugh, she felt the press of his lips on hers and the warmth of his hands on her body, and she replayed the quiet but bold affirmations he gave to her every day._

‘You steal my breath away, love.’

‘You make me hope, Emma. You make me feel that anything is possible.’

‘There’s nowhere else I’d rather be than with you, Swan.’

_Those were just a few of the unimaginable things he’d said to her over the past few weeks, and somehow she believed him every time. The ability she had to sniff out a lie had never been triggered with Killian. He was honorable and honest, earnest and sincere, and while that was amazing and miraculous, it was also still an incredibly scary thing for Emma to know and accept._

_Because right now, as good as things were and as happy as she was, there was a risk. This could all go sideways at any moment. This summer was eventually going to end. She was going to leave this magical place, and this boy who she loved was going to leave too._

_“Love?” Emma said the word aloud, rocked into a state of shock that she’d so freely used a word she never shared with another living soul. She had never loved anyone before, but there it was: she loved Killian._

_But that was crazy! Loving him was crazy, and yet she did, and she didn’t want to fight it. It was hard to tell if she even could. Nothing had worked against him when it came to her defenses. One by one he brought them down just by being himself, and the feeling when he did made it all seem worth it. If today was the last day she ever had with Killian, it might just kill her, but she couldn’t seem to run preemptively. She had to see him, had to soak this all in as much as she could._

_Still, as she got ready for the morning ahead, Emma knew that there was one thing that scared her most when it came to Killian and it was simple even in its abundant complexity: where as Killian had been completely forthcoming, telling her everything about his life, from his derelict Dad to the passing of his mother, she had held back. She had given him so much more than she ever had to anyone else, but the most important part of all, the part about her being abandoned and never finding anyone who wanted her all this time, that was still a secret. He didn’t know she was in foster care, he just knew she was on scholarship. He asked about her family a few times and she diverted, but that was weeks ago. He respected her not wanting to discuss it, but what would he say when he knew? Would he still look at her like she was some kind of perfect person? Or would he see that she was ordinary, or worse that she wasn’t worth loving after all?_

_The tolling of the clock on the mantel told her that she had no more time to dwell in these awful what-ifs, because Killian was supposed to be here now. Since he had never ever been late in all their time knowing each other, Emma knew he’d already be waiting for her at the gate, and when she grabbed her bag and locked the door behind her, she turned to find she was exactly right. But still, even if they’d shared weeks of similar moments, she was still struck breathless by the sight of him, and the world seemed to spin just a little more than usual as she made her way towards him._

_“Emma,” he said in greeting, his eyes filled with both relief and appreciation as she meandered towards him._

_No sooner was she through the gate than his hands were on her, pulling her close with a speed that made her gasp. He smiled at her, running one hand along her cheek as the other held her hip. Then he dipped his lips to hers, kissing her with in a slow and sensual way that made her want more, while still being appropriate enough for this not so private place._

_“I missed you, love,” he said when he pulled back, the truth in his eyes shining just as bright as the cerulean flecks in his ocean blue gaze._

_“You just saw me last night,” Emma quipped, though her heart was pounding in elated satisfaction._

_“Aye, but it makes no difference. You know I hate to leave you. Nothing feels right again until we are together.”_

_“Well lucky for you we have all day,” Emma said and Killian agreed he was a lucky man before kissing her again. This time though, their stolen moment was interrupted by a low whine coming from below, and Emma laughed as she pulled back, crouching low to greet the other favorite companion she’d met this summer._

_“I’m not the only one who missed you,” Killian said as Emma loved on Missy with her usual vigor. She loved this dog so much, almost as much as Killian seemed to, and hearing she was missed not just by Killian but by Missy as well made Emma feel so special._

_“I missed you both too,” Emma whispered as she stood up, ducking her head so Killian wouldn’t see her eyes which were threatening to water in the face of all this affection. But he waited her out, taking her hand and running his thumb back and forth along her skin absentmindedly._

_“It won’t always be like this, Emma.”_

_Hearing that made her stomach cramp up in actual pain. It hurt to realize that Killian saw the end of this too. When summer came she’d miss him even more, but when Killian tilted her face up to his she was confused. Because he didn’t look sad – he looked determined._

_“What do you mean?”_

_“I mean that someday soon there will come a day when we don’t need to be parted. Not for a single night.”_

_Emma didn’t even know how to respond to that. She wanted it, but she also knew how far away that day must be. Here he was saying it would be soon, but they were still so young. They couldn’t make decisions about their life like that until they were of age, and though Killian was older, he had a few months left before he hit eighteen. But even with all that, the look in his eyes gave Emma no choice but to hope. He had that expression again, the one that said he’d stop at nothing to see a good thing come to pass, and everything she knew about Killian told Emma that where he had a will he would always make a way. Instead of responding to him directly, she pressed another swift kiss to his lips and smiled, watching as the action calmed him down and melted away some of the harshness of before._

_“So, what are we doing today?” she asked, after pulling back and taking his hand once more._

_“Nice try, love, but you know it’s not that simple,” Killian teased. His propensity for surprising her had only continued as the summer went on and Emma groaned, though it was mostly for show._

_“You’re lucky I always bring everything just in case.”_

_Emma stopped short after her unanticipated confession, hoping that Killian wouldn’t realize how true that was. She essentially had everything that mattered to her in this bag right now. That’s how few belongings she really cared about. There were clothes and such at her living quarters, but the few items she truly valued went with her wherever she went just in case. She’d never had to run before, but she was always prepared, even now._

_“You all right, Emma?” Killian asked and Emma nodded, regrouping and doing her best to immerse herself back in the day with Killian._

_He made it as easy as possible to do so, bringing her to one of her favorite places in the area – the beach. Once there they walked along the coast, passing dozens of other people, some with their families, and some with friends, until finally they were at her favorite spot – a sandy patch nestled between rock-lined coves that Killian had brought her to a few weeks ago._

_“I still can’t believe no one knows about this place,” Emma said, shaking her head in awe as she helped Killian spread out the blanket he’d brought for the two of them to use._

_When that was done, she reached for her shirt, stripping it away and shedding her shorts leaving her in only her bathing suit, and she didn’t think much of it. She was so comfortable with Killian at this point and they’d done this a number of times. She didn’t think of it as anything more than an innocent act, but when she looked back over at him, surprised at his silence, she realized how much she effected him. The look in his eyes was a cross between ravenous and bewitched and it made her feel immensely powerful. She could have chosen to wilt under his appraisal or feel embarrassed, but how could she when he was so obvious? He was clearly very pleased with what he saw, and that was only fair seeing as how in a few short moments, he’d lose his shirt and she’d feel the same way._

_“Cat got your tongue, Jones?” Emma teased and she heard a low rumbling sound that she might have mistaken for Missy if it wasn’t heard a time or two before. No, that was all Killian, losing his head again and letting some sort of primal side take over. It thrilled her to know how much he wanted her, and this back and forth was intoxicating to her. It turned out Emma liked a bit of a chase, and with that in mind she smiled widely at him before sprinting at the water, knowing he was half a second from pulling her close._

_Hearing his curses and the sound of him trying to get rid of his own clothes was hard over her laughter, but Emma was now attuned to these moments that she’d play back later like her favorite song. She made it to the water’s edge, delighting in the cold ocean as it counteracted the heat of the sun and her exertion, but then she was caught, with Killian’s arms wrapping around her as he carried her further into the water. She screamed, but in a playful way, and then they were submerged together underneath the ocean swell, bobbing underneath the waves until they came back up again and she splashed him in foe offense._

_“Killian!”_

_“What? We needed to cool off, love. If we didn’t we’d run the very real risk of being charged with public indecency.”_

_“Is that right?” Emma asked as Killian caught her again in the water. Being like this she let her legs wrap around him as he held her. She wouldn’t go so far in real life, but here it just felt right. It was a tease of what could be, and as she felt his hard body underneath her she squirmed a bit, making him groan again._

_“Have I ever told you how tempting you are, Swan?”_

_“Only like every day,” she replied, biting her lip to keep back a smirk and getting exactly what she wanted in return – another heated kiss. And damn was it hot, even with the water around them, Emma was burning up, taking it just to the edge with Killian and wishing so badly that they could go even further. So far they hadn’t, choosing to be much slower in their physical intimacy while they truly got to know one another, but Emma was finding more and more each day how impatient she was. She didn’t like the waiting, and if Killian weren’t so steadfast in taking things slow… well, she didn’t really know where they’d be right now._

_“God, you undo me,” he said resting his forehead against hers, his breath coming out in harsh pants that mirrored hers. She sighed at his words, closing her eyes and taking it all in. She wanted to keep this moment forever, just like all the others, and she was almost afraid to open her eyes again, thinking maybe this was all just some crazy beautiful dream._

_Yet as the day went on, there was more and more proof that this wasn’t a dream. This was really her life, and Emma was happier than she’d ever been before. Their time on the beach evolved into a picnic in the cove, and then a long walk with Missy through town. They got ice cream, they watched the ships come in and out of port, and they talked with each other about anything and everything. As the sun set, they enjoyed the natural beauty, watching the sky change and the fading light bid goodbye to a nearly perfect day. It made Emma worry that they’d soon be saying goodbye to each other as well, but Killian had other plans. Down for anything herself, Emma followed him back through town not so far from where she was staying. Before they got there, though, Killian stopped at a giant estate Emma had seen before and recognized as his Uncle’s. She felt her heart catch – she’d never been to his Uncle’s place before. Was this some sort of meeting she didn’t know about? She wasn’t dressed for this, or ready, but before she could truly panic Killian kissed her hand in a knowing and gentle manner._

_“Don’t worry, love. We’re not going inside tonight. My plans are of a more outdoor nature.”_

_Emma expelled a breath, glad for that fact but then her mind wandered to how gorgeous this place was. As spectacular as the main estate was of her benefactress, this house was just as palatial but in a different way. It was less manicured and groomed. The flowers here were less cultivated and more organic, honoring the true beauty of the world around them. Emma still couldn’t fathom why anyone needed a house so large, but as they went behind the house, Emma’s breath caught again._

_“Oh my god,” she said, the words carrying on the wind as she took in the sight before her. For there was a path lit up in the night by tasteful, gilded lanterns leading deep into the woods._

_“I wish I could take the credit for these, but my it’s all my Uncle’s doing.”_

_“He must be a real romantic,” Emma said, and Killian looked thoughtful._

_“Perhaps. If he is, he’s sadly unmatched now.”_

_“He could still find someone,” Emma said, suddenly hoping for happiness for a man she’d never even met._

_“I hope he will,” Killian said. “But trust me, Swan, this isn’t what I brought you here to see.”_

_Emma couldn’t imagine what could be better than this, and the whole way out into the woods she found herself wondering where they could be going. The golden glow around them as the twilight darkened towards full blown night was so surreal and almost otherworldly. She could hardly fathom where it would lead, until they came to a large clearing. She waited for something, not really understanding what the end game was here and just when she was about to ask why they had come here she spotted the first blip at the corner of her eye._

_“Fireflies,” she whispered, not realizing if she spoke aloud the thought that crossed her mind._

_For nearly seventeen years Emma wondered what fireflies really looked like. Would they embody the magic that stories and movies seemed to make of them? It was somewhat suspect to her, until now, when she could feel the anticipation and the instant satisfaction of seeing one and then another and then another. This clearing, for whatever reason, was filled with them and it seemed Killian had timed this exactly right for them to take in the show._

_“Now some might say that this is the best seat in the house. They don’t seem to go very far into the trees, so you can see them all just fine right here.” Killian murmured the words as if speaking too loudly might scare away these new little beings._

_“But what if…” Emma trailed off, not wanting to ask for more when he’d already given her so much. Yet again Killian’s thoughtfulness was gifting her with an impossibly wonderful experience, and to make a suggestion right now just felt ungrateful._

_“What if we wanted to be in the thick of it?” Killian asked, reading her mind and Emma nodded quickly prompting a smile from Killian. “Well, I came prepared for that.”_

_Emma tore her attention between the continuing lights around them and Killian rummaging through his backpack, but when he produced two flashlights covered in blue tissue paper she was surprised. “It’s an old trick my brother learned when we were kids. Fireflies are drawn to the color blue. It attracts them, like moths to a flame.”_

_“I can relate,” Emma said, thinking of Killian’s eyes but covering her mouth in horror as she realized she said that aloud. “Pretend I didn’t say that.”_

_“Not likely, Swan,” Killian replied, pulling her closer and kissing her sweetly before handing her her flashlight. “Now come on, we’ve only got a little while with them. Let’s make the most of it.”_

_Emma was glad for his request because he ended up being oh so right. The lightening bugs were breathtaking and astounding, spiraling through the meadow in entrancing little swirls, some of them even landing on her and Killian. He was right about the lights. They seemed to love it, and Emma adored the sensation of being surrounded by them all. Everywhere she looked there were golden blips, sparkles in the night that pulsed in perfect harmony with the rest of this wooded grove. She instantly knew that stories couldn’t do this justice. One had to experience this, they had to feel the summer heat turning to a nighttime cool, smell that woodsy smell of fresh earth and green leaves, and hear the gentle buzzing of these tiny beetles in flight. Only though first hand experience could someone understand the real beauty behind this and appreciate what a strange and amazing occurrence this was in nature. It made Emma believe in something else, something divine, because such a perfect moment couldn’t be an accident. It had to be fate._

_They stayed out there, for how long Emma couldn’t be sure, but in that time she let her guard down completely, even more than she usually would. Killian always made her feel older, like a woman or an adult, but right now this was a space where they could be a bit more childlike. She never had this as a little kid and she loved it, and Killian seemed to love her love. They laughed together, running around at different moments, taking in the ebb and flow of these little lightening bugs with the help of their flashlights. Sometimes they landed on her, lighting up her sun-tanned skin in this almost ethereal way, other times they lit up Killian, illuminating his expression which was already so bright and happy, making Emma’s palpable joy climb even higher. But eventually, their private little light show ended. Perfect moments had to come to a close, and one by one the bugs flew off, leaving Emma and Killian out there alone under the pale moonlight, lying out under the ever brightening stars._

_“God that was… I don’t even have words.”_

_“So you liked it then?” Killian asked, as if it wasn’t a given that this was one of the single best moments of her life._

_“I’ve never been so happy,” she confessed, looking over to Killian and wondering if it was okay to say that. Did she seem weird or desperate? It only took one moment to know he didn’t see her that way._

_“There’s something I have to tell you, Emma. Something I’ve been wanting to say for a long time.” She could hear her heart beating in her chest, pounding in anticipation until he said three words she wanted to hear more than any other. “I love you.”_

_Emma let those three little words wash over her, seeping into her very being like water to a rose. The elation at knowing that this incredible human being could feel for her what she felt for him was sensational. In the magic of the moonlight, lit up as she was from such a perfect day, Emma finally knew what it was to belong and to feel at home. Killian had made all of these beautiful moments possible in her life. He made ordinary things feel extraordinary and exceptional. He looked out for her, applauded her, cheered her on ,and believed in her. He made time for her and he listened to her, reassuring her at every impasse that she was smart and fun and worth being around.  He showed her every single day since the first day they met that she was important to him, and right now, when he told her he loved her she knew that he meant it. In a bond forged in honesty and truthfulness, this was somehow the truest thing he’d ever said to her, and it brought happy tears to her eyes. She wanted this so much – wanted him more than anything else in the world – but he didn’t really know her, and realizing that she now had to come clean broke her heart._

_“I know you think that, but you wouldn’t say that if you knew everything,” Emma said, sitting up and hiding her face as her knees automatically came in, curling her up into a fearful stance. But before she could retreat too far into herself, she felt his hand on her, a gentle reminder of his devotion._

_“Emma, I promise you there is nothing to know that would change how I feel. I love you. Don’t ever doubt that. Whatever you think there is still left to tell me, I swear on everything it won’t change my love.”_

_“But it will!” She cried out, her tears no streaming as her throat closed from the pain of it all. “You don’t get it. You can’t love me because no one ever has. I have no parents, no family. They gave me up. They didn’t want me.”_

_“Emma,” Killian whispered, but she couldn’t let him reassure her. She appreciated that his hands stayed on her but she had to get this out._

_“I don’t know what happened to them. I was found as a newborn and no one could figure out where I came from so I went into the system and I never left. When I was little I liked to think that they still wanted me. Maybe they’d come back. Maybe they were sorry for leaving me. But whatever kept them from keeping me it doesn’t matter. The end result is the same. I went into the system and no one ever wanted me. I was never good enough. I never fit. I don’t belong.”_

_“That’s not true, Emma. You do belong. You belong right here with me.”_

_“How do you know that? How are you sure?”_

_“Because there’s nothing in my life that means as much as you. No one who makes me feel so much, who makes me want again. You are this rare and impossible treasure, like an angel from a dream and yet you’re real. And it doesn’t matter to me where you come from, it only matters because it made you Emma, the girl I love, the only one I ever will.”_

_“I love you too,” Emma confessed, “But I’m scared. I’ve never loved anyone. I don’t know how – I -,”_

_Her worries were pushed aside as Killian brought her close, kissing her apprehension away and trying to show her the intensity of his feelings. His faith in this was so strong and so reassuring, it was impossible to deny him. His love was still so strong even though he knew. She had told him her last terrible secret – she’d shared just how lost and lonely she really was – and here he stayed, claiming her, wanting her, loving her._

_“I thought I was broken, Emma,” he said as they came apart, but just barely, clinging to each other with all this heavy emotion swirling around. “When my Mum died I thought I was mostly gone with her.  I didn’t think I’d ever be happy again, I felt like nothing mattered anymore, and then I met you and I realized that even in darkness there is light. You saved me, Emma. You made me whole, putting back pieces I never had, even when she was here. And you did it with your smile and your wit. You did it with the look you get when you know you’re right, and the way you always want to help anybody in any way that you can. I hadn’t even known you a day and I knew I’d never be the same, and that I want you forever. I didn’t get a chance to say it before, but I feel as you do. Today was the happiest I’ve ever been and it’s all because of you. Because you love me, and because, even if you’re afraid, I know that love isn’t going anywhere.”_

_“I might mess this up,” Emma admitted, knowing that anything was possible with something so new and foreign to her._

_“You couldn’t even if you tried, love. Something this right is fated to happen. You can’t run away from destiny. You can’t muck it up. It follows you, and you, Emma Swan, are my destiny.”_

_How could she compete with words like that when they spoke to exactly how she felt? Emma didn’t know, so she followed her instincts, pulling him close and spending the rest of the few precious hours they had left before her curfew reveling in this new state they were in. Love had been here for some time, but to have it shared like this, spoken aloud and agreed to so clearly was indescribable. She still was afraid, she still was unsure, but that wasn’t going to hold her back. Whatever she didn’t know she would learn, and whatever obstacles may come, she knew Killian would be there for her every step of the way. She just had to keep fighting and keep choosing this new life, two things she planned to do as long as she had her soul mate by her side._

**_Post-Note: Hey all, so I know that I have done the firefly thing before, but for me personally it’s one of the highlights of every summer. I genuinely love seeing the fireflies. I loved catching them as a kid, I love watching them with my family, and I think sharing that magic with someone you love is just about the sweetest thing you can do. I wanted Killian to share that with Emma, and I think that having written so many stories, it’s okay if there’s some overlap. I mean as the self-dubbed queen of fluff, I have recycled a trope or two before already… Anyway, next chapter is going to also be partially in the past and as you might have guessed it will be from Killian’s POV. That being said, it’s a very heavy chapter but I will not leave you guys in pain or suspense. There’s nothing I hate more than leaving a story in a precarious place, especially emotionally, trust that I will make it right even if I break our hearts just a little bit in the process. As always, I thank you all so much for reading, I hope you’ve enjoyed, and I would love to hear what you think!_ **


	7. Chapter 7

**_A/N: Hey all! So we are back with another chapter of this story and I have to be honest, the beginning is really hard to read. For some of my more softhearted readers, this may be too much. It’s the moment when Emma and Killian had to say goodbye back in the past. Not to worry though, because I am not leaving us in sadness. Far from it, I’m actually including a snippet from the present as well. It will include fluff, a little smut, and hopefully some healing from the tiny heart ache that is the first part. Either way, I thank you so much for reading, and I hope you will enjoy!_ **

(Past)

Today is easily the worst day I’ve faced so far.

_The thought held no small weight to Killian, given all that he had overcome in his life. In recent years he’d lost so much, and none of that had been easy for him. The pain he knew was real and sincere, but this summer was a reprieve from all of that. With Emma, he was able to rebuild, to find himself again, and to wish for more than the darkness of before. Yet even that magic they had found was not infinite. There were still obstacles ahead, and in a few hours he was going to have to say goodbye to the girl who had total claim to his heart._

_It would be months before the two of them could reunite, and to say he was impatient was an understatement. Killian had never resented his youth before, but today he did. Eighteen was such an arbitrary milestone. Some people lived so much of life even when they were young. He was not average. He had seen a lot and experienced the range of emotions any person could face. Trials had come, and he was stronger for them, but this one felt insurmountable. He could not fathom leaving Emma, it would be like leaving his soul, and what was the point of that? They were meant to be together, and if there was justice in this world then they would be, no matter what their ages._

_Though Killian tried to tamp these thoughts down all through today, his heart was in excruciating pain any time the weight of their reality set back in. Tomorrow, bright and early, Emma had to head back to her foster home. Her summer at camp was now finished, the warmer season was blaring out in a last blaze of heat before the autumn chill would come, and Killian was set to depart for home soon too. His time at his Uncle’s was at an end and there was no way around that. He tried to tell his brother of his wish to stay here, but it wasn’t that simple. Him being a foreigner and things being rushed as they were made solutions virtually impossible. As such,  Liam would be ready to receive him, and life was meant to go on. Emma would be going to the city, but he’d fly an ocean away, making things all the harder. Staying in touch was going to be difficult. They had few avenues to do so, circumstances being what they were, but in Killian’s eyes there was no choice on the matter. This could not end here, not when he’d given himself to Emma so completely. He loved her, with a deeper reservoir of feeling than most people could even comprehend. It was absolute and undeniable, and yet even that feeling could not spare them from this pain._

_“How can something so beautiful still not make me happy?” Emma asked, her eyes cast out to the sea as the final bit of sunlight escaped from view. In the distance playing seals savored the last of the warm sun in their coastal home, and sea birds dove for final meals before the light was gone. The sky was streaked with a miraculous burst of color on this final summer day, but Killian knew exactly what she meant. This view brought him no comfort, not when the arms he currently had wrapped around the girl he loved would be empty very soon._

_“I don’t know, love. But it’ll be better soon. I’ll be back at Christmas, and in the meantime I’ll do everything I can to make this better. Until then we’ll write. I’ll write you every day as many times as I can. There’s not a day that will pass where I won’t think of you, and even if I’m far away, I’ll make sure that you know it.”_

_Emma leaned back into his embrace, and he watched her tears brimming, but she wouldn’t let them fall. Instead she closed her eyes, soaking in the feeling of them being together and creating a tightness in his throat he dared not speak through. Damn it! This was the worst he’d ever felt. It was hopeless. Why did things have to be this way? Why did the world think that they were too young to make their own choices? All the rules that said they couldn’t be together yet infuriated him. Emma was the most important thing to him, and when she left she’d be alone. She had no family, no true friends back at the center, nowhere she felt she belonged. It was so wrong to send her back there, especially when he had so much love to give her. He’d spend every day of his life showing her that she was extraordinary and making amends for all the time that she’d gone through life alone._

_Along with seeking out a way to stay, Killian had spent the past few weeks searching for a means to get Emma somewhere better. He was desperate to give Emma more, even if he couldn’t give her everything. Her coming with him was out of the question. A foster child in America was never going to be allowed to come back to the UK, so he asked his Uncle for help. The trouble was even a man with as much sway as Benjen Jones was limited, and there was little he could do, at least immediately. Much as Benjen might like to give Emma a place to live that was better than a group home, it wouldn’t be okay for him to be her guardian. If Killian loved her as he did, it wouldn’t be proper, and on some level Killian understood that. He even believed his Uncle when the man said he was working very hard to find Emma a good placement. His Uncle Benjen had many favors that were owed him, and he was calling in a number of them to see Emma placed in a loving, stable place where she could at the very least have peace until she was of age in a year or so. But even that was too slow going. The system was a mess here all the time, but during summer? Well, it turned out there were just too many cogs in the wheel. No answers had been found, no solutions secured, and so Emma was headed back to a place she truly hated, despite his attempts to get her out of there._

_“I used to wish so badly for a family,” She whispered a few minutes later, her eyes casting back to the horizon. “I waited for the stars, searched for clovers in the grass, picked up every lucky penny that I could. Now finally I feel like I have one. You gave me that, Killian. You make me feel whole and wanted,  and I don’t know how I’ll ever thank you.”_

_“Don’t thank me for something I was born to do, Emma. It’s my honor to belong to you.”_

_“I don’t want to go,” she confessed, turning to him, the tears now falling fully and he tried to wipe them away before pulling her in and hugging her close. Feeling her unhappiness was a knife to the soul. It tore at him, but he stayed strong for her. He held her close and made every promise he could think to make. He would love her forever. He would find a way. They would make it through this. It would be okay. But nothing could turn this around, not even the kisses they shared as Emma sought his lips on hers to drown out the sorrow of this terrible goodbye._

_Eventually they knew they had to leave the beach. Emma’s curfew was drawing near, and they had less time today than normal. She still had to pack and say goodbye to the people who had watched her this summer. Killian wouldn’t say that they were close, per se, but there was an increased fondness there. Emma had been welcomed if not exactly fawned over, and Emma was grateful for the safe place to land. But while they were close to the time assigned to them when they went away this morning, Killian was surprised to find Emma’s caretakers outside awaiting them when they were back at the estate._

_“Oh, Emma, there you are. We’ve been waiting for you.”_

_“Waiting?” Emma asked, and then her eyes cast to the woman behind them, who looked annoyed and aloof. “Ms. Stewart? But I thought pick up was tomorrow. I’ve still got one more night.”_

_“We sent word to your temporary guardians that there was a change in plan last week. But somehow it seems the message was lost.”_

_Killian didn’t think that was the case, not when the people Emma had lived with this summer shared a look between each other that spoke to a sad understanding. If he had to guess, these people had given Emma one more day, and though he was devastated that the time for her to go was now, he was so grateful for all the hours they’d been granted by a bit of compassionate aid._

_“I don’t understand,” Emma said, before turning back to Killian. “I don’t know how to say goodbye.”_

_“Then we won’t, Emma. Because it’s not even a goodbye. Goodbyes are far too final, and this is hardly the end of you and me.”_

_“You love me?” she asked, wanting to hear something he’d told her a thousand times._

_“Aye, with all that I am.”_

_“Forever?” she asked, as his hand cupped her cheek._

_“Even longer than that, Swan.”_

_“And I’ll love you the same. I’ll never stop, Killian. You’ll always be with me.”_

_Killian wanted to ask her why it felt like, even without saying the word, Emma was bidding him goodbye. He was haunted by a feeling of foreboding, but then her case worker was heading to the car with Emma’s bags and time was up. For one last time this summer, Emma pulled him down for a kiss, one that was all too fleeting, and when they pulled apart her tears still stained her cheeks and her eyes carried every bit of sadness he expected his reflected._

_“I love you, Killian. I always will…”_

_And with that, Emma was ushered away into the car, headed down the road, away from him, and taking all her light and love with her, leaving him unanchored in a sea of grief and pain._

_……….._

(Present)

Waking up from the vivid dream firmly based in memory, Killian could hardly catch his breath. His heart pounded in his ears and his adrenaline was shot, but then he sensed it, the warmth of his Emma right there beside him as she slept peacefully through the night.

God how scared he was to think that she was gone again. It was a scar he had born for years, the knowledge that she was nowhere to be found, and the eventual realization that she was lost to him for what felt like forever. It took a few months for him to realize the depths of their separation. He was alarmed at first when he didn’t hear from her. He sent letters every day and never heard anything back, any time he tried to call the group home Emma was at it was chaos. No one ever had answers, and rarely did they ever even answer the phone. Finally, a few months in, he was desperate to see her and on the day he turned eighteen he bought a ticket and flew the six thousand miles that separated them. He had no real plan except to see her – everything else would just work out, but then he got there only to feel excruciating heartbreak.

_“Emma Swan is gone.”_

_“Gone? What do you mean? Was she placed somewhere else?”_

_“I’m not at liberty to say.”_

_Killian was aggrieved at that, but as he was heading out another worker stopped him. Was he K. Jones? Yes he was. A bit of hope tore threw him. Maybe Emma had left him a message. Maybe she’d left a way to find her. But instead the woman returned a few minutes later with a pile of letters, his letters to Emma, all of them untouched and unopened._

_“Emma is what we call a runner,” the woman said in the face of his complete shock and horror. “She skipped out of here within twenty-four hours of returning from her camp.”_

_“How do you know she meant to leave? How do you know…” Killian couldn’t finish the words._

_“How do we know she wasn’t taken? Police did an investigation. Caught a glimpse of her on camera at the bus depot but then the trail went cold. It happens sometimes with these kids.”_

It should have never happened to Emma, and even now, years later and after more than a month of their being reunited, Killian still didn’t know why Emma had run back then. Had something happened? Did she feel unsafe in her placement there? Had someone hurt her? Or did she simply lose faith that he meant every promise that he made? Was the pain of it all too much? He could imagine so many reasons, and though none of them would heal the pain of the past, it was something Killian felt he needed to know. It was a final missing piece to the puzzle of what had been, and though he didn’t want to rush her, he felt strongly that he had to ask her why and soon.

As if she could sense his being awake and the pain he was in, Emma stirred in her sleep, blinking her eyes as she came to, and immediately seeing him. The smile that appeared when she saw him forged a direct hit to his heart, for in her eyes he saw relief. She was glad to be with him, thankful that it wasn’t just a dream, and happy here at his side.

“Someone’s thinking an awful lot for…” Emma shifted slightly to glance at the alarm clock beside his bedside table and groaned, “three AM. And here I was thinking we’d both be dead to the world until morning.”

Killian smiled at the reminder of how they’d come to that exhausted state, despite the heavy thoughts that had just plagued him. The love they shared, the heat and the desire had boiled over and for hours they’d teased and tormented each other with sheer pleasure. Over and over and over again they’d come together, spending the whole damn night as close as they could be. They were still so hungry for each other, so in need of catching up on all the time they’d lost. There was no dialing back, no shutting this down, and they both understood that. Even now, Killian felt that call, the ache inside that would only be cured by her touch, her kiss, and her warmth, and when Emma smiled seductively and hummed out a happy sound he knew she was on the same page.

“You really are insatiable, you know that?” she quipped as her fingertips ran down his chest and she moved to kiss him, ending the soft press of their lips with a slight nip that drove him wild.

“I’ve been called worse,” he said, coming over her and admiring the view. God she was gorgeous, even in this dim light that shone from the street outside. Every part of her was perfect, an enticement that he couldn’t resist, so he stopped trying. Why deny himself this happiness? Why forsake what they’d both gone far too long without?

“How can I want you this bad?” Emma asked, her words a gasped out sigh as his mouth trailed from her lips down her neck and along every curve and swell on her body. He took his time, reminding himself of her taste and riling her to a state that could compare to his own.

“Because it’s fate, love. You were made for me and I for you. Same as always.”

“I know,” Emma said, the affirmation more intoxicating than even the taste of sweetness on her skin. “But still. You drive me crazy. I always want this, always need this. It’s just not normal.”

Killian chuckled at that, reminding her that they were far from normal before he licked her most sensitive flesh, distracting her from her pondering about the bond between them. He growled as he took from her, driving her higher into her state of arousal before slowing down just to make her beg and plead. Only when he knew she might go mad did he send her over, and then, when he was certain she could take more he came back up above her, filling her over and over again and chasing completion that would leave both of them shattered and sated.

Having Emma like this was the best remedy to the sadness of before. He had no space for anything but peace here with her. This was where he belonged. This was the great joy of his life, to love this woman, to care for her, and to cherish her always. He had told her time and again that now they were reunited, he’d never let them part, and in this moment he relished that. Holding her in his arms after they’d both fallen into bliss, Killian knew that this time would be different. There would be no running, no distance, and no reason for this to end. They were together now and it would truly be forever. He’d see to that, no matter what it took.

“You had the dream again, didn’t you?” Emma asked and Killian was surprised at her words. “The one where I run.”

“How did you know?”

“You talk in your sleep sometimes. A few weeks ago you… well it doesn’t matter really. I should have told you when I found you again why I left at all. You deserve that at the very least.”

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, Emma.”

“I know,” She said with a sad smile as her hand came to rest against his heart. “But I do want to. I want to put it behind us, and I can’t do that until I tell you.”

Killian listened then as Emma explained those crucial twenty four hours that he could never find answers for. She told him how she had returned and how immediately the home had felt hollow and harrowing. She was hardened to it before, having never let anyone in, but after meeting him and tasting what better could be, it was all too much for Emma to take. That first night back another girl lashed out at Emma, a fight had ensued, one where Emma was just trying to protect herself, but the woman who ran the group home blamed her anyway. Then she’d gone off on Emma, completely violating every ounce of human decency she could in the process.

“She talked about my parents and how I’d never knew he they were. Then she reminded me of every home that gave me up. She sat there, reading my file one by one. It was so triggering to hear how long that list was, and she basically just said I deserved it.. I was never enough and she was all too happy to remind me of that.”

“God, I can’t even imagine, Emma. She was supposed to protect you, and instead she hurt you. She should never have been allowed around children. What kind of monster would say such things?”

“I found out a few years later that she was fired just a few weeks after I ran. She had a drinking problem and the state found out. I guess I wasn’t the only kid she messed up while running the place. She was deeply unhappy, and everything she said was about making me small so she could feel bigger. I just wish I could have seen it for what it was then. It took a long time for me to realize that her vitriol was a reflection of her, not me.”

“Was that all that she said?” Killian asked, his hands cupping Emma’s cheek, wiping away a stray tear that had fallen as she recalled this brutal blow.

“No. She said my summer was over. She said whatever I’d had there was no more. I had to remember who I was and where I came from. There was no happy ending in store for me because I didn’t deserve it. I wasn’t worthy of a story like that.”

The anger Killian felt at hearing all of this couldn’t be described. It was violent and unlike him. He had some very dark thoughts about this woman. She was malicious and cruel. She had deeply wounded the girl that he loved, and she kept them apart. Without her, Emma would have stayed. She’d gotten the chance to see how steadfast he was, and they’d have been together all this time.

“I wanted to write to you. I wrote a hundred letters in my head, but I needed to find a place to land first. I never stayed anywhere for long, I was lucky to have a roof over my head more nights than not, and it took me over a year to reconnect with Mrs. H, but by then it felt too late. Surely you would hate me for not responding, right? I mean I knew on some level that you wouldn’t, but I don’t know, I got so scared, and I just… after everything I couldn’t take any more rejection. So I carried you with me, I dreamed of you, but I wouldn’t let myself go there. It was too much.”

“You were trying to survive,” Killian said, understanding her motives quite well. Emma nodded, her eyes closed as a few more tears fell. “And thank God you did, love. You had to be so strong. You had to do it all alone. I hate that you did, but damn I’m so proud of you, Emma. I’m so proud that in spite of everything, you still became all that you are.”

“So you’re not mad?” Emma asked and Killian shook his head as he kissed her lips again.

“Not at you,” he assured her, “never at you, love.”

“I love you, Killian,” she confessed, holding him close. “I love you so much and I know we haven’t said it to each other in forever but -,”

Unable to hear her worry about his feelings any longer, Killian silenced her with a kiss so searing and deliberate it could not be denied. He said with this embrace every single thing he felt, and he knew by the time they pulled apart that Emma understood. Still he gave her the words so as to put her mind and heart at ease.

“I have loved you from the moment that we met, Emma, I have loved you every moment we were parted, and I will love you every second of my life yet to come. You are it for me, everything I could want, everything I could dream of. With you I have the world, and without you I am lost. It’s just that simple.”

“I thought I’d never hear you say those words again, and now that I have… it’s like coming home.”

“Aye, because that’s what we are. We’re each other’s home and we always will be.”

So with that promise, and a few more stolen kisses, Emma and Killian allowed sleep to take them once more. And this time there were no bad dreams or nightmares past – there was only peace and the confidence of two people who were certain in their choice and who loved each other freely, just as they were meant to.

**_Post-Note: So there we have it. I chose to make this chapter a bit shorter than others mostly because it was so painful. Funny how my muse is determined to have these parts in a story, but my heart just can’t bear to linger with them. Anyway, please everyone rest assured that the remaining chapters (of which there are only a few) will be much lighter and that the hurt is behind Emma and Killian moving forward. Thank you all so much for reading, and for those of you who comment and review, please know that it means the world for me to read your feedback. Grateful for all of you and wishing you a wonderful rest of your weekend!_ **


	8. Chapter 8

**_A/N: Hey everyone! After waiting for my inspiration to strike again with this story, I have been on a relative roll and it feels so good. The cuteness continues in this chapter, and we’re hitting a major milestone too. As such, we are edging ever closer to the end of this story. Honestly, I would say there’s only two chapters left, one of which will likely be an epilogue. That being said, I hope that you guys will enjoy what I’ve done in this installment. As always, I would love to hear what you all think and I thank you so much for your continued support and kindness!_ **

_God, to think, even a month ago, that this would be my life. I’d never have believed it._

Emma smiled at the thought as she moved about Killian’s kitchen, bringing together the few needed ingredients to put together this morning’s pancake mix. She might live on her own, but Emma always took pleasure in the little things, and a home cooked meal was one of those investments that made a huge difference in her day. Making something for herself was a powerful experience, but making something to share that she knew would be appreciated was even better, and in about fifteen minutes or so, Killian would wake up, wrap her in his arms, wish her good morning and marvel at these pancakes before eating damn near every one. She chuckled at the thought, knowing that, if habit held, Killian would put away at least six of these bad boys, as well as tons of bacon and eggs, praising her and thanking her endlessly all the while.

It was surreal to comprehend all of this – her and Killian, back together again, and not just reunited, but happy and domestic. This was becoming a routine. Lazy Sunday mornings at one of their places had been going six weeks strong, and they followed Saturday day and nights spent almost exclusively together. On Sundays, Emma weirdly woke up with the sun and Killian had a tendency towards sleeping in, a total reversal of the rest of their week. Not that Emma was in a hurry to leave. She always spent a little time in bed, just enjoying the feel of Killian holding her tight, and only when nature called did Emma sneak out of his arms, throw on one of his t-shirts, and get ready for the morning.

With anyone else, establishing a routine like this, especially so early in a relationship, would be impossible for Emma. Routines involved counting on someone and trusting that they would come through. For everyone else, that trust was hard earned and seldom given, but with Killian things were different. Emma had believed in him and given him her heart so long before, and now that he was back it felt natural to hand them over without any more muss or fuss. Having overcome her worries early on, she was now committed, all in in a way one had to see to believe. It was miraculous really, and yet Emma didn’t go too deep into why or how. Overthinking was the fastest way to heartbreak, and instead she was doing everything she could to make this work and treasure every moment she and Killian had together.

With thoughts of the two of them dancing in her head, Emma kept pouring batter and flipping cakes, monitoring the other pieces of their meal, but largely focused on the pancakes that would take center stage. She made one and then another and another until the plate was piled high with golden circles of deliciousness. Then when she was nearly finished, and thinking that it might be time to wake Killian up, he came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her and breathing her in. Emma sighed happily, closing her eyes for a moment and soaking this sensation deep into her soul before twisting in his grasp and smiling at him. His hair was disheveled from sleep, his eyes still a little dazed, but he was handsome as ever. Her hand came up to cup his cheek, brushing against that extra bit of scruff that had appeared overnight and she couldn’t help kissing him. She went for something quick, but when she tried to pull back, he demanded more and she melted against him. Soon everything else was forgotten and Emma had only one thing in mind, but before they could get there, Killian ended the kiss, grinning at her as he pressed his forehead to hers.

“I’ll never grow tired of us being like this,” he murmured, his eyes flicking down to her lips, as if he was tempted to taste her all over again. Still he held back, glancing at the stovetop and shitting off the gas before her last pancake could burn. “Will you ever wake me up and let me help you with all of this?”

Emma shook her head and bit her lip to keep from grinning too widely. He had asked her every weekend to wake him up so he could help, claiming that he loved this thoughtful breakfast, but that it was too much for her to take on herself. Emma didn’t agree. She was totally willing and able to make them a meal to share like this. Besides, this wasn’t a totally selfless act. She got to enjoy the food just as much as he did, and then after, when they were finished, Killian would pull her close and drag her back to bed, determined to remind her of what kind of morning they could have when they did wake up together.

Trying to hide the flush that came to her cheeks would be useless. She was blushing and there was no remedy, especially not when Killian grumbled out a heated promise that he’d ‘satisfy her soon enough.’ Yet despite the butterflies of anticipation, she ate her pancakes and fruit with total contentment. This was easy and relaxing, peaceful in a way she could never have imagined, and somehow, through some beautiful twist of fate, it was becoming their new normal.

“So, you never did tell me if you had any plans today,” Emma hedged, when breakfast was done and they’d brought all the dishes back to the kitchen. In a lightening fast move, Killian reached for her hand and then pulled her flush against him, leading her back to the place in the world she loved most of all.

“That’s because I don’t. The only thing on my agenda is spending every moment with you that I can. Aside from that, I have no wish left to fulfill.”

Emma’s heart warmed at his words which were genuine and real. Everything he said was big and bold, but he never exaggerated. That was what made Emma feel so safe in this relationship. Killian felt so much and he candidly showed her the extent of his emotion. He loved her deeply, and even if they went years apart, she knew he had loved her since the moment they met. Her hand raised to his chest, her fingers tracing above his heart, as she relished this feeling of total and complete connection. Closing her eyes she let out a deep, contented sigh, thrilled at the idea of having another day with Killian with no cares or worries to be had.

“Actually, I stand corrected.” Emma raised a brow at his sudden change of tone. “I do have plans. Plans to keep you in bed and in my arms as long as humanly possible.”

When he swept her into his arms Emma laughed, letting slip a sound of shock that melted into pure excitement. She loved when this part of him came to the forefront, controlling and needy and demanding. He was the sweetest man she’d ever met, but he was also the sexiest, and when he flipped that switch to claiming her… God, she almost fanned herself just thinking of how it would be. In seconds she was riled up, desperate for what was coming, and then a knock sounded at the door and both of them froze.

“Are you expecting someone?” Emma whispered, as if the person on the other side of that door could somehow hear her.

“No, love. No one even knows where I live. Well, except for work and -,”

_“Open up, brother! I know you’re in there!”_

“Liam?” Emma and Killian both asked at the same time, and now her pulse was racing for a different reason. Oh shit – his brother was here? She’d never even met him and currently she was… Emma yelped. Jumping down from Killian’s arms and trying to get away. She was wearing nothing but his t-shirt and here was his brother come to visit! Oh God this was a nightmare.

“Emma, love, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know he was even in the states, never mind coming here.”

“I believe you,” Emma said, but she felt antsy now and desperate to get dressed and appear more presentable. She had imagined the moment she would meet Killian’s brother a thousand times, and it was safe to say none of those imaginings were anything like this.

“It’s going to be all right, Swan,” Killian said, kissing her quickly and staring into her eyes with an intensity she had to accept. “It’s sudden, but we were always headed to this. I love you for now and always. You’re a part of me, and so is Liam. It’s only right two of my favorite people should finally meet.”

Emma smiled despite her fear and nodded. “Okay. I’ll be quick.”

“Take all the time you need. You know I’d wait forever for you.” Emma stayed wrapped up in him for another moment, but then another knock sounded at the door.

_“Killian! You better not be sleeping! Damn, just our luck, we surprise the lad and he’s dead to the world.”_

“We?” Emma mouthed to Killian as another voice in the hallway responded.

_“Give the boy a minute, Liam. He’s likely… tied up at the moment.”_

“Uncle Benjen,” Killian said with a grin though his eyes still shone with confusion and Emma groaned. Tied up? Oh they totally knew she was here. God this was embarrassing!

Before she could wallow any longer though, Emma moved into the bedroom, locking the door as she heard Killian open his apartment to the family who loved him. Immediately Emma could hear the happy greetings said between them, and as she changed into clean clothes and tried to brush her hair she did her best not to panic. It was going to be okay. Kilian loved her and she loved him, and that would be enough. She could impress his family. At least she hoped she could.

Gathering her courage, Emma exited the bedroom and made her way to the living room where Killian stood with two men who looked so strikingly similar it gave Emma momentary pause. The younger of the two was Liam, and immediately Emma knew that he and Killian were brothers. They carried themselves the same way, though Liam was much taller, and when they both saw her and smiled, they mirrored each other so acutely. Then she saw Killian’s Uncle and she was shocked. He looked so young still, or maybe he was just aging very well. Either way it felt that looking at this man was getting a snapshot into what Killian may be like years from now. He obviously took care of himself, probably staying away from rum and dessert and any other vices one could have, but even in his age he looked youthful. Perhaps it was the mirthful glint in his blue eyes, that matched his nephews in every way.

“Liam, Uncle, this is Emma,” Killian said, coming over and taking her hand as he smiled at her lovingly. “Emma, this is my family.”

“It’s so nice to finally meet you,” Emma said her voice soft but steady as she relaxed in Killian’s hold. “I’ve heard a lot about you both.”

“Not nearly as much as we’ve heard about you, I’m sure,” Liam retorted with a sharp laugh. Emma reached out her hand to shake his, but he disregarded it, pulling her in for a giant bear hug that left her somewhat pressed for breath. “Now where the hell have you been all these years, lass?”

From the corner of her eye, Emma could see Killian looked stricken, but she just laughed, knowing Liam’s words were harmless. When he let her go she shook her head and shrugged, playing it cool. “Oh you know, around.”

“Well I’m glad he finally found you.”

“Me too,” Emma replied honestly before turning her attention to Benjen. Just like Liam he pulled her in for a hug, but this one was gentler and felt more like a father’s embrace than that of a rowdy older brother.

“You’ll have to forgive our informality, lass. It feels like you’ve been one of us a long time. A missing member of the family.”

“That’s very sweet of you to say,” Emma whispered, trying her best not to get choked up.

“Well don’t get used to that. We Jones men are hardly known for being sweet,” Liam said with a grunt and now Emma laughed, knowing he had to be kidding.

“Is that so?”

  
“You doubt me, lass?” Emma shook her head no but it was hard to keep a poker face. She found it too funny a concept.  

“Ah give her a break, boy. Can’t you see they’re in love? What is love if not a bit of sweetness?”

“Always the poet,” Killian replied to his Uncle, before pulling Emma in and kissing her temple. “Now then – just what the hell are you two doing here?”

Liam and Benjen quickly told them the whole tale, about how Liam was here on business, having given up the British navy for the chance to have his own security company. He was meeting with an international client here in the city, and on a whim had mentioned it to Benjen. Since the man was now retired, he was eager to come and see both his nephews at once, something he hadn’t been able to do in many months. And they were also both eager to see Emma, since Killian spoke of little but her and their lives back together again.

In the end, this was really the only day they’d have the chance to spend quality time together. Liam had a week filled with business, and Benjen was headed back to his estate near the coast tomorrow morning. It was just a short, spur of the moment surprise, and at first Emma wondered if she should let the three of them spend it alone, but that idea was quickly thrown out. Half the reason for their being here was to meet her, and to finally understand why Killian and her had shared a love for so long, and though Emma was a bit shy in the face of such an examination, she knew it would all work out, and that these men were all kind and good and without judgment, something she truly valued.

They spent the day moseying about the city, playing tourist in a place Emma had come to know so well. With the job that she had, so much of her time was spent looking for people and for clues, and to do that effectively she’d seen every corner of this city more than once. Along the way she found diamonds in the rough, and more than a few real gems scattered in amongst the more popular tourist dives. Her knowledge of the landscape gave her a chance to guide others in the things she loved most about this place, which she never got to do on a normal day. Feeling like an expert was a heady thing, it made this place feel more like home, and as the day went on, she watched as all of them took in the most beautiful parts of this city, many of them hidden from the guidebooks or any average tour. They filled the day with sight-seeing, new experiences, and a lot of laughter. Killian and his family never met a joke they wouldn’t tell, and Emma couldn’t remember having such a good time. It was so easy and light, and by the time the sun was setting, and the day was drawing to a close, she was sad to see it over, wishing, as so many people often did, that Sunday would last just a little bit longer.

Eventually they made it back to Killian’s apartment, where Liam insisted on cooking them all a meal truly fit for a king. He was a wonderful cook, and required very little help, but Emma did her best to chip in. Soon enough they ate, enjoying the food and the company in equal shares, and when it all was over, Emma made her way into the kitchen to prepare some dessert for all of them as a last little hurrah.

_“Okay, now that she’s gone – what the hell is your problem, brother?”_ Liam asked and Emma stilled, hearing his words as if he spoke them right beside her thanks to the acoustics of this house.

_“Liam, keep your voice down,”_ Killian whispered and now it was harder to hear. She knew she should stay as she was, offering them better privacy, but curiosity got the better of her, and she moved over towards the wall, giving herself more of a chance to overhear.

_“She can’t hear me, and if she could why should that matter? I’m not saying anything bad about her. I’m saying you’re a fool.”_

_“Watch it,”_ Killian replied with a low warning tone.

_“I will not. You’ve got a rare bird in there, Killian. A woman like that doesn’t just stumble into your life over and over again, and here you are wasting your chance.”_

_“I’m not wasting shit,”_ Killian said, and Emma agreed. After all, they saw each other ever day. What more could they really ask at this point?

_“Tell him, Uncle Benjen,”_ Liam said with a huff, and Emma stood there transfixed and trying to anticipate what Killian’s brother was getting at.

_“She’s a hell of a woman, lad,”_ Benjen announced, making Emma’s eyes water as he said it with such conviction. _“But you know that already. It’s why she never left your heart.”_

_“Not for one second,”_ Killian agreed.

_“So I believe what your brother is trying to say is, what the hell are you waiting for then? Put a ring on her finger and make her yours. You find the woman you belong to and you tie her down. Any sane man knows this.”_

_“I want to. More than anything, but it’s too soon -,”_

_“You’re not serio-,” Liam tried to get out but he was cut off._

_“Liam,” Benjen said with stern warning, and Killian’s elder brother went quiet.  “Excuse my crass American turn of phrase, Killian, but bull shit. You’ve only just told me that the love you carry for her has been here for years, aye?”_

_“Yes.”_

_“And it’s clear as day she feels the same. So spare yourselves the heartache and ask her. You of everyone should know how rare these chances are. Would you ever forgive yourself if it slipped away?”_

_“No. But I’ll never let that happen. She’s never leaving me again. Never.”_

Emma finally managed to pull herself away from where she’d been listening and she found herself filled with hope. He wanted to marry her? He truly saw forever together? What a wonderful thing to know, and how amazing it felt to realize that he felt as much as she did. Was it crazy to move so fast? Maybe. But hell if she cared. Killian’s Uncle was right. They were living through something most people never had a chance at. Finding love like this once would be a blessing, but finding it again when all hope seemed lost? Well that was just a fairytale. Except for them. For them it was real, and knowing that, Emma didn’t want to wait. She never wanted to take this for granted. Every moment mattered when so many moments had been lost. She wished she could tell him that, but it wasn’t yet the time do so.

As she brought the dessert back into the dining room, she made sure to make a lot of noise, announcing herself so they didn’t know she’d heard them. They were all very complimentary of the cake Emma had raved about, but Killian was quieter. He kept hold of her through dessert, always touching her leg or her hand, and never wandering far, but she could see that he was troubled. No doubt the conversation she’d heard part of was weighing on him, and even as his family made their goodbyes, he was still tense and strung tight.

“Emma, I can truly say it has been a pleasure,” Liam announced as they were slated to leave, wrapping her up in a big hug again.

“Same here, Liam. Hopefully you’ll be back soon?”

“You can be assured of that,” he said with a grin before going to speak to Killian. At that moment Emma felt a hand on her shoulder and she looked back to Benjen whose blue eyes had grown soft and thoughtful.

“I always prayed that somehow Killian would find you again, lass. I’m very glad that those prayers were answered.”

“Me too,” she whispered. “Sometimes I wake up, convinced this is all a dream. But it’s real.”

“Aye, as real as love can be, I suspect,” he quipped before patting her hand lightly. “See that you take care of my boy, Emma. Nothing in the world he needs more than you and your love, and I can tell, it’s the same for you.”

Emma nodded that it was before bringing him in for a hug, noticing that Killian had missed their little exchange. She was almost remorseful that he had. Surely that would have calmed him some, to know that she was in this too, but as his family left the apartment, leaving she and Killian alone, Emma could sense that he was troubled.

“Killian?” she asked, waiting for him to look at her while he hesitated for the first time in all the weeks they’d been reunited.

“I love them, truly I do, but right now… right now I’m so bloody mad at them I could scream.”

“Mad? Why would you be mad?”

“Because they came in here, took one look at you and saw exactly what I do. They saw you’re brilliant and beautiful and too damn good for me, and they…”

“They what?” Emma prodded, stepping to him and trying to console him though she felt her heart might climb out of her chest.

“They scared me, Emma. They took the goodness I was feeling, they took my peace and they shattered it.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I was never the same without you, love,” he said, and her throat tightened at this emotional mention of the past. “When you were gone, a piece of me went with you, never to return until I found you once more. I did my best to survive, but I wasn’t living, not really. Finding you again has given me everything I want. All I ever asked for was to see you again, to prove to you that I was worthy and that what we had was right.”

“You didn’t have to prove anything,” Emma assured him. “I knew you were my soul mate, Killian. I never ever doubted that.”

“I swore to whoever is up there listening that I would never ask for anything again. If I could have you, I’d be content for the rest of my days.”

“But you’re not?”

“No, I am,” he promised her, cupping her cheek and gazing at her with complete assuredness. “God, Emma, I’ve never been so happy, you know that. Being with you like we have been these past few weeks, I’ve gotten back to who I was. I feel like the whole and complete person I always thought I could be.”

“But you want more,” Emma said, finally understanding what he was getting at. “More than just what we are right now.”

“Aye,” he said, looking almost ashamed at how much he wanted her, which made no earthly sense. “And that’s why I’m mad, Emma. I need to take this slow. I want to make sure that you feel as secure in this as I do. It doesn’t matter that I want to marry you, have kids with you, build my life with you. Until I know you’re ready, I can’t -,”

Emma realized this was the kind of moment where words would fail. She could never tell Killian how misguided his worries were, but she knew that she could show him. Pulling him down for a kiss, she poured herself into this embrace, sharing everything with him and hopefully nullifying the fear and the anger that had swept into their world once and for all. By the time they broke apart, Emma could sense his calm returning. He looked at her, with eyes that shone with heat and impatience, but still he waited for her to make the next move. As ever, he was putting her first, and now it was her turn to show him that he could do that and have everything he wanted.

“Marry me,” she said, less an ask and more a hopeful demand. “I promise you it’s what I want. The time is right, right now. I don’t want to wait. I’d marry you tomorrow if I could, but there’s that pesky thing called work we both have to get to.”

“Damn Sundays,” Killian said, but the words had no real conviction as his smile appeared and he nodded.

“Is that a yes?”

“Technically you never asked.”

“Oh, right. Killian Jones, will you -,”

“Wait!” he said, interrupting her thought as he moved to take a little black box out of his pocket. Emma’s hand came to cover her mouth as she let out a gasp. He had a ring already? But how?

“I’ve been carrying this with me since the morning after our first date, love.”

“You’re kidding,” she said. Oh my God he was serious! But that was so dangerous. There were so many places he could have lost it. Someone could have taken it. They could have…

All her thoughts flew from her mind as she felt him take her hand and watched him get down on one knee. Tears stung at her eyes, but she smiled, doing her best to memorize every bit of this, so she had this memory forever.

“I know you meant to ask me, Emma, but the thing is I’ve been dreaming of this day since I was a boy. I always pictured more than this, with flowers and romance, but sometimes when it’s right, you know. So, Emma Swan, will you make me the happiest of men? Will you be my wife?”

“Yes,” she said, watching as he slipped the gorgeous ring on her finger.

And with that, the two of them celebrated this next step in their lives, knowing beyond the shadow of a doubt that this was truly their forever, and that they never again would suffer the fate of two souls ripped apart when they truly are one.

**_Post-Note: So there we have it. I cannot believe this story is wrapping up, but at the same time it feels right to really close out this AU. As I said there are still two chapters left, ones I hope you will enjoy. My goal is to get them up and published in a timely manner, but realistically speaking I am in the homestretch of my final year of school, so god only knows when I’ll really get to write. I do have a bit of the next chapter crafted, and some mixtape chapters done though, so there’s more cuteness on a number of fronts still to come. I have also begun (as some of you know) to create a new AU that will likely come in late spring or early summer, but I want to make sure I see this project  through and have written it all before I allow myself to follow a new story. That being said, I truly hope you have all enjoyed and I thank you for your continued support. Hope you have a great rest of your weekend, and see you next time!_ **


	9. Chapter 9

**_A/N: Hey everyone! So here we are with the final actual chapter of The Same Soul. I have one last installment planned (a final epilogue that flashes forward to the future), but full disclosure I do not know how long it will take to publish. I am *hoping * it will be quick, so the story is fully complete before the summer, but with school still as crazy as can be, I have to be realistic. Please just know I will get it to you all as soon as I can, and I promise to make it as fluffy and adorable as possible. This chapter, meanwhile, brings us to Emma and Killian’s wedding weekend. As you’ll see, I am doing things a little differently than I normally would for a ‘wedding chapter’, but I hope you’ll all appreciate the fluff in the end. This is what my muse imagined, and I think it honors the story in the way I really wanted. That being said, I can’t wait to hear what you all think, and I thank you all so much for reading!_ **

“I can’t believe it,” Emma said, her eyes cast out from the car window to the town around them. “It looks exactly the same. It’s been ten years but it’s almost like we never left.”

Killian agreed with his love’s apt impression of this beautiful corner of the world. His Uncle had found a charming place to call his home, and one of the benefits of having such wealth in the area was that things remained charming and quaint and untouched. This was a place designed for nostalgia and classic appeal. It was timeless, but still well maintained, and at this time of year there were fewer tourists puttering around. The people out now were the locals or those with vacation homes here come for a quiet weekend of reprieve, but the energy was the same. The sun shone on this blessed part of the world and if the forecast held, it was bound to be a simply gorgeous weekend.

This was not unusual for this area. Surely the summer they’d spent together years ago had proved that to be true. It rarely rained, and when it did it never lasted a whole day. This was a place that pulsed with possibility, but when he’d lost Emma, Killian could never bear to come back here. Every part of this place reminded him of the girl that he loved. He could see nothing without seeing her too, and so he never came back. Despite missing his Uncle and despite loving this town, it hurt too much to know that he would be here without her. Now though, those fears had receded, for there would never be another day when Killian did not have his Emma at his side, and tomorrow was going to cement that once and for all.

“Would you change anything?” Killian asked his bride to be and Emma shook her head before looking back at him with a smile. Her hand reached out to take his and she squeezed lightly.

“No. This is perfect. It’s exactly how I pictured it.”

The rush of pride that Killian felt at knowing he’d helped in securing Emma’s happiness was profound, but he hoped his pleased expression didn’t give too much away. She was thrilled with this place, and he was glad for that, but he had plenty of surprises still in store. Emma might assume that a week was not enough time to plan a ‘real’ wedding when she told him after he proposed that she didn’t want to wait long, but he knew that on this one subject she was incorrect. In truth, he’d had the benefit of years and years of hoping that someday they would get here. In that time he made tentative plans, and as soon as he found Emma again he solidified those, hoping that sooner than later they would get to this point.

When they finally pulled up to his Uncle’s estate a while later, Killian moved without hesitation to get out of the car and open Emma’s door. She chuckled at him and his continued insistence that she wait for him to do the gentlemanly thing, but he knew that she loved it. He could see her appreciation clear as day in her green eyes, and he felt her subtle gratitude when she pressed a fleeting kiss to his lips.

“I love you so much. I can’t wait to marry you.”

Blast it all to hell, she was so damn tempting! He’d intended to do this with some semblance of decorum and composure, but that thinking went out the window with her words. Instead he pulled her close, bringing her body flush against his as he claimed her lips. He took more than a taste, branding the both of them with the overwhelming love between them, and soon enough he forgot where they were at all. Only the distant sound of footsteps and the eventual clearing of someone’s throat brought them back to the present.

“Hate to interrupt the happy couple, but there are, in fact, some things still left to do.”

His Uncle’s censure was teasing in nature and Benjen descended the stairs with a chuckle before pulling Killian and Emma into separate hugs. His greeting was warm and sincere, and Killian knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that Uncle Benjen was thrilled at their being here. He’d missed Killian’s presence here for years, telling him straight out that he wanted Killian to come back. He respected Killian’s feelings on the matter though, and after everything, Benjen was finally getting his wish. Add to that the fact that Killian was marrying a woman Benjen expressly approved of and the older man was positively glowing with good will. He seemed nearly as happy as they were about the wedding, and that excitement was infectious for both Killian and Emma.

“Your house is even more stunning than I remember, Mr. Jones,” Emma said and his Uncle raised a brow at her before she corrected herself. “Oh right sorry, Benjen.”

“That’s more like it, lass. Come, let me show you your rooms, and leave your bags. They’ll be handled.”

They followed his Uncle’s instructions and entered the home that was incredibly familiar to Killian. This was a place he’d explored many times over that fateful summer, but Emma had never seen past the first few rooms. When she came here, they always stayed outside, enjoying the summer for every second that they could. Seeing her experience this now made Killian smile, and as they moved from room to room, he made mental note of what things caught her fancy amongst the magnificent manor. When they finally came towards the kitchen though, the serenity of the rest of the home deteriorated, and there was clanging and banging coming from behind two large wooden doors that could separate the cooking quarters, pantry, and windowed breakfast nook from the rest of the house.

“Is everything all right?” Emma asked, looking concerned as the sound of clanging metal signaled something falling to the floor. It was loud as could be, and Killian too had to wonder what could possibly be happening.

“Perfectly so. Mrs. Potts is overseeing all meal preparation for the festivities.”

As if the mere mention of her name could conjure the housekeeper, the wooden doors glided open and she appeared, sticking her head out before letting out a surprised squawk. She immediately slammed the door closed again, murmured some things to whoever else was in the kitchen and then opened the door enough to slip out and close up behind her. The normally put together manager of the estate looked a bit disheveled. There was flour all over her apron and some other stains as well. Whatever they were making back there, it was certainly involved.

“Oh Killian, as I live and breathe, you’ve really come!”

Mrs. Potts was eager to greet him but made no motion to do more than take his hand in a sign of affectionate motherliness. Killian grinned and despite her current state of messiness he picked her up in a giant hug that had the older woman crying out before laughing. It had been so long since he’d seen her, but this woman had been incredibly kind to him that summer, and she’d been another constant ear for him to bounce off ideas with when it came to Emma and what might make her happy. When he put the older woman down she was laughing like a school girl, swatting at Killian for the lack of politeness.

“Oh you are the same rascal you always were. And thank the lord for that. You’ve had your Uncle worried all these years, you know that? What with the brooding and the working. Gah all that work! It’s not good for a soul to do so much.”

“All this coming from a woman who refuses to rest. No one the world over works as hard as you, Eleanor,” Uncle Benjen quipped and for the first time Killian watched the dynamic between the two of them.

 The use of her first name was indication that things between them might be more than that of a boss and worker. Was that interest he saw in his Uncle’s eyes? Yes he believed it was, and here was Mrs. Potts feigning annoyance, but he could see that she also appreciated the attention. Well this was remarkable! He’d never thought of it before, but it made sense. They were the same age, after all, since Uncle Benjen was older than his own father by a good number of years. Mrs. Potts for her part was a widow and had been a long time. Her children too were all grown now, most of them, if Killian recalled correctly, were around Liam’s age. But still she was running the house after all this time. It was perplexing, but he intended to find out the truth of the matter sometime over the course of this wedding weekend.

“Oh enough of that now. Besides, what could be a better call to work than a wedding,” Mrs. Potts said, turning to Emma with a look of true wonder and enjoyment. “You, my beautiful girl, are absolutely Emma Swan, but you look so different now. You’re fully grown, and you’ve blossomed into a truly beautiful young woman. It is an absolute pleasure to see you again.”

“Again?” Emma asked, as she accepted Mrs. Potts’ hand.

“Well _technically_ we’ve never met but you don’t think I would let the young master of the house fall in love without getting a glimpse or two of his favorite girl, did you?” Emma laughed and shrugged.

“I guess I never thought about it.”

“Oh well trust me, it was of the utmost importance that I get a few good glimpses. Otherwise how would I report to the lord of the manor?”

The teasing way she referred to Uncle Benjen spoke to a long held intimacy between the two of them, but the information was surprising. Mrs. Potts was a spy then all this time? Now that he thought about it, Killian should have suspected, but it still surprised him to realize that his Uncle was keeping such close tabs even when he’d been overrun with work.

“I’d try to deny it, but I’ve never been a liar and I’ve no intention of starting now,” Uncle Benjen quipped.

“So what did you think?” Emma asked, suddenly sounding a little unsure but proving brave enough to ask the question all the same.

“I thought that Killian had landed a rare kind of gem. A teenage girl who knew herself and knew the world. Who was kind and beautiful, patient and strong. I hardly knew such a creature could exist, but there you were, stealing his heart piece by piece and all at once.”

“And she’s had it well in hand every day since,” Killian agreed, kissing Emma’s temple as he held her close and Emma let out a soft sigh of contentment, meeting his gaze and silently replying that he had her love as much as he had hers.

At that moment more loud noises emanated from the kitchen and Mrs. Potts let out an eye roll for the ages before shaking her head. “Mother of all good things, they do test me here. I better get back, and you two best get ready.”

“Get ready?” Emma asked, and Killian smiled.

“There may be a surprise or two afoot love, but no worries. You’ll enjoy them all.”

With that, the two of them headed upstairs to their quarters in the house. It could hardly be called a room, given how spacious it was, but even in its grandness it felt like home. After a little rest and relaxation, Killian gave Emma enough clues to get ready, and when they were both showered and dressed, he in a button-down shirt and slacks, and her in a beautiful yellow dress with her hair pinned back, they headed downstairs and out back where they were expected.

“So what exactly are you up to?” Emma asked, as they came through the glass back doors. They stepped outside and she appeared to be surprised when there was no one and nothing in the back patio area. Clearly she imagined any kind of gathering would happen directly outside, but she was wrong, and only when he lead her to the secret path from many years ago did she begin to understand. “We’re going to the glen?”

“Aye, love,” he acquiesced, leading her down the grassy lane from yesteryear.

As they ambled down the way, there were the same glowing lanterns lighting their journey. The day was ending now, and if they were somewhere with less trees they’d see the sunset, but as it was they saw the golden haze of a day’s end flittering through forest groves, and saw the clouds above them colored with pinks and orange and violet streaks. As they had in the past, the lanterns led to a beautiful patch of the world, but this time their glen was filled with seating and food and most importantly people. When Emma arrived she saw Liam, Uncle Benjen, and Mrs. Potts, but she also saw Mrs. Hubbard and Emma’s new but already dear friend Ruby. Ash she took in the surprise, Emma’s hold on Killian’s hand tightened. She was truly shocked at this first little gift.

“You didn’t,” she said, not from vexation, but from disbelief.

“Ah, but I did. Or we did as it were. It was a group effort.”

Emma grinned widely before moving over to Mrs. H and giving her a huge hug. Mrs. Hubbard for her part hugged Emma back, and Killian could see the tears streaming down the old woman’s face. When they broke apart, there was a true love for Emma in her eyes, whether they were related by blood or not. This being the case, it was absolutely necessary that Mrs. Hubbard be here. She was family, and family must be a part of their special day.

“You didn’t really think I’d miss your wedding, did you Emma?” Mrs. H asked and Emma shook her head, her own tears having slipped out as she wiped them away.

“I wasn’t sure, I mean I know how difficult it is for you to travel.”

“Difficult?” Mrs. H said with a scoff. “Hardly. Especially when I had such a fun partner in crime.”

Looking to Ruby Mrs. Hubbard explained that the two of them had made the journey together, and they’d taken the chance to talk all about Emma and the wedding and the future for hours and hours on end. Killian was so gratified for that, but he imagined this might be the case. When he reached out to both women they’d been eager as could be to be here for Emma’s wedding, and they asked what they could do and how they could do it. To say it had all paid off handsomely was an understatement, and as the night went on and this little party came together, it was clear that there was love enough for all of them, even with so few people in attendance.

The evening was filled with merriment. The food was delicious, the company was even better, and despite the odds his hoped for entertainment emerged. At this time of year it was questionable whether lightening would strike, or rather, whether lightening bugs would strike, but when the sun had dipped low and night was just starting to claim the world, sure enough they came. One blip turned to two then two to many and sure enough the meadow was filled with hundreds of dancing lights bringing back perfect memories and lasting joy for all of them.

“Tonight was simply perfect,” Emma said hours later when everyone decided to head back for the house and get some sleep before their full day tomorrow. She leaned against him as they walked, seeing their loved ones all before them, mingling and laughing as the night drew to a close. “It might be the best one I’ve ever had. Except for the day you found me.”

“Which time?” Killian asked, but he already knew the answer.

“Both times.”

He agreed with her that this moment belonged in the echelons of his life. It was immensely gratifying and fortifying to feel so calm and secure. He had the whole world when he had Emma’s love, and having the people who meant the most to them here to share that was incredible. But as wonderful as today had been, Killian expected that tomorrow would be even greater. For tomorrow, as the sun was setting in the sky, and the sea was sending subtle winds and lapping gently on the shore, they would be married, becoming man and wife and truly tying themselves together forever in every possible way.

These happy thoughts danced through his mind as they walked together and made their way back to their rooms. They found themselves winding down, readying themselves for the night, but before Emma got into bed, and before he took her one last time (or more realistically a few last times) before marrying her, he had one last gift to give. Pulling it from his bag, Killian felt the weight of the letter in his hands. To most people it might seem unremarkable. Just an envelope stuffed full of papers with etched words directed to one Emma Swan. But this was a letter written long ago, back before Killian had realized Emma was gone. He’d written to her every day as promised, and eventually had been given these letters back again. In time he showed them all to Emma, knowing that though they may bring some grief, they would also bring proof that his love for her had never dwindled and that he’d carried her in his heart just as he promised.

But this letter was the only one that he held back. He saved it for this moment, knowing that the time to give it to her was not all at once with the others, but on the night before he’d make her his and he’d become hers. For this was a letter expressing a dream, a dream that had lingered, and a dream he hoped would come true tomorrow.

“Is everything all right?” Emma asked from the doorway.

His heart thumped loudly in his chest. Damn she was a sight, hair hanging loose in shimmering golden waves, her face flushed from the fun they’d had today, and her adoring smile bringing light to every part of her appearance. Couple that with the barely there nightgown she donned and the glimmer in her eye of want and need and he was gone for her, but he swallowed down the instinct to snatch her up and pull her close. Instead he held back.

“I have one last thing to give you tonight, love.”

“Just one?” she teased, and he groaned at her seductive lick of her lips.

“Let me rephrase. I have one last thing to give you before ravishing you properly.” His growled out words sent a shiver through Emma, and he couldn’t help bringing her into his arms and taking comfort in her warmth. “Nothing in the world could ever mean as much to me as you. You are everything, plain and simple.”

“You are too,” she whispered, moving to kiss him but he halted her. She pouted at his action, but then looked at the letter he had in hand and her eyes lit up. “Another letter?”

“The final one,” he admitted.

“I didn’t know you had anymore,” Emma said, eagerly taking the envelope in hand and using her other hand to guide him towards the bed.

“Emma, perhaps I should -,”

“Oh no way. You are getting into this bed with me and holding me as I read this letter. You know what they do to me. I need you. I always need you.”

What could he say to that except that of course he would stay. He wanted to stay, but he never wanted to assume. Perhaps she wanted privacy, but he should have known better. There was nowhere either of them would ever be running to again. In this life they were meant to walk together, and tonight would be no different. Bringing her body close to his he held her tight, his back against the headboard and hers against his chest. Then he watched her and listened to her open up the letter and read the words he’d written years ago.

_Dear Emma,_

_Today is the 47 th day I’ve gone without you. I’ve had 47 mornings since you left. 47 days of missing you, of wishing I was with you, and knowing that nothing means anything when I’m not at your side. Every day I wake up and I think of you. I send you love. I miss you dearly. And every night is just the same. I think of how much I’m missing with you now, but I also dream of what we will have when I’m back with you again. I know it feels so far, love, but we’ll be there soon. I’m coming back for you, Emma. There’s nothing that could ever keep me away._

“You never stopped believing did you?” Emma asked, her voice taut with emotions in the face of his past words. “Even when you came to New York and they gave you back these letters. You still believed you’d find me again someday.”

“I had to find you, Emma, because I meant exactly what I said. Without you I had nothing – none of it mattered. Only you.”

“I love you,” she whispered, kissing him gently and he kissed her back, but then broke away, urging her to keep on reading.

_But today is more than just the 47 th day we’ve spent apart, love. Today is also my favorite day in all the year. Because today is your birthday – the day that the best part of my life came into the world and made it whole. I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking that you hate your birthday and you always have, and perhaps today isn’t all that it could be. I know you deserve so much more, Emma, and I wish I could be there to give it to you, but next year at this time I will be, and I’ll see to it that every birthday from this point on is the best kind of day. The kind you always dreamed of, and the kind that you deserve._

“God I wish we’d had that,” Emma said as a tear slipped down her cheek. Killian brushed it away gently, and he felt the same pain beneath his breast. He also wished they’d had that chance, but he knew in his heart that the road they’d traveled was the one they were meant to find. He might have missed many more birthdays, but the ones from here on out would be as he promised – filled with enjoyment and laughter and love.

_I know that you may read this and feel doubtful, Emma. I hope that you have faith in what I’ve promised, but some days, I know, it’s hard to imagine how we’ll get back to each other. But I want you to know that it will happen, love. Someday we’ll be together, just you and me and a whole wide world to conquer. We’ll follow our hearts and our ambition. We’ll make a change in this messed up world, but most importantly we’ll love and be together, just as we should be._

_I don’t know how long it will take. Part of me thinks you’ll make me wait, and since you’re always right, I’ll trust your judgment. But I fully intend to marry you someday, Emma. I plan to ask you, to love you, and to promise you myself forever and a day. I actually dreamed about that day last night. I caught a little glimpse of it, of what it’ll be like on the day I make you mine._

“Killian,” she whispered, looking up at him and he nodded, promising her this was all true. She stopped reading the words aloud, clearly unable to speak, so he gently took the letter from her fingers and carried on, filling in the rest.

_In my dreams it’s just like we whispered to each other at the cove. We marry on the beach at sunset, when the seabirds quiet and the rest of the world falls away. In the dream I stood there in the cove waiting for you, the sand beneath my toes. I felt the wind swirl around me and there was magic in the air. There was music too, your favorite song, and the sound of your laugh all around me. Then, just as I was at the brink of missing you, you appeared, in a gorgeous gown made of white lace just like you wanted. I’ve never seen anything so beautiful, and then you smiled at me and I stood corrected._

_People say that time is different in dreams, it slows and stops then flies right by, but when you walked to me I knew just how I’ll feel the day you become my wife. Every second felt like the sweetest kind of torture. I memorized just how you looked, to keep with me forever, but I wanted you in my arms again so badly. Finally you came, you put your hands in mine and it was time to make my promise. A voice asked for my vows and I said them to you, meaning every word._

_I, Killian Jones, take you, Emma Swan to be my lawfully wedded wife._

_I vow to honor you, to cherish you, and adore you all the days of my life._

_I vow to never leave your side again, to always be your person, and never let you feel alone._

_I vow to give you all of me, my heart, my mind, my spirit._

_Everything I am and everything I ever will have is yours for now and always._

_I vow to make the dreams you have come true._

_I vow to build us a life and a home and to make it what you always wanted._

_I vow to be your family, and to someday make our family grow, whenever you so choose._

_But more than anything Emma, I vow to love you._

_I promise to choose you._

_I promise that everything I do, I do for you, to see you happy and to see you safe._

_I promise to trust your instincts. You know what’s right for you, and so you know what’s right for us._

_I promise to never dull the things that make you you._

_I promise to realize every day how lucky I am to have you, and I promise that my love will always grow and never shatter. Every day I live, I will love you more. Every day I wake, I will thank my lucky stars that you are mine. And every day I’ll work to be the man that you deserve, the man that makes you happy, and the man that you can love for this day and every day._

Killian read the final lines of the letter, the ones that told Emma that his love was more than a dream and promised again that he’d find her soon, but he was struck in the moment by the truth of those vows. They applied even more today than they did that day, and he could think of nothing better to say to his true love than this when they were wed tomorrow.

“Please don’t change a thing,” she whispered when he put the letter away, and she turned to face him in his arms. “Those vows are perfect just the way they are.”

“You think?” he asked, slightly unsure, but very glad that she had liked them.

“No, I know,” she countered, cupping his face. “In fact, their so good that I want to say them back to you in exactly the same way.”

And so she did, without needing to read the words upon the paper even once. Emma made the same promises, and recited every word, only swapping out their names as needed. She did so with great patience, bestowing every promise with a kiss, a touch and a heated action designed to please them both. She showered him in passion and in love, and by the time that was through, they were at the precipice, with love so big between them they had no choice but to crash into the sweetest bliss. Sure enough they found completion, when she whispered the final words, ‘for this day and every day.’ And as they lay together in their bed, spent from their love but hopeful for the future, they waited for sleep to take them so they could see this perfect wedding and start their life together as they’d always wanted for once and for all.

**_Post-Note: Okay so I know technically we didn’t see the actual wedding, but I hope that you guys can appreciate what I’ve done here. It goes without saying that their wedding will be exactly like the dream, with the same magic in the air and love shared between them. These are the vows I have pictured for them, and this is the cuteness that would be in store. I just thought that this was a beautiful way to tie back the letters Killian had written into the story, and get them to a happily ever after in a slightly different way. That being said, however, I have promised to make an epilogue, and you can all rest assured it will include some CS family cuteness and fluff galore. It might be a little shorter than this chapter, but it will be no less packed with love. Anyway, thanks again so much for reading, and I appreciate all of you joining me for this story and sending me your thoughts. It always means so much to see what people think, and this story has prompted some truly kind words from so many of you. I hope this chapter brought some light into your day, despite the craziness of the world, and I can’t wait to see you all next time!_ **


	10. Chapter 10

**_A/N: Hey everyone! So this epilogue is a short and sweet birthday gift to myself. I thought about what I wanted most in terms of my writing, and a tidy, fluffy ending for this fic is exactly what the doctor ordered. I wanted you all to rest assured that Emma and Killian do, indeed, have a happy ending in this AU (not that anyone would doubt that given the rest of the story). Nevertheless, we’re flashing forward into the future, and I am including some CS kids fluff and a little stolen smutty moment for our lovely couple. I love these kind of chapters, and though this isn’t very long, I hope it will brighten your day a little bit. Thank you to all of you for reading and supporting me along the way. This one is for all of you just as much as it’s for me!_ **

_(12 Years Later)_

Gazing out the window as their family minivan traced the familiar route to Uncle Benjen’s house, Emma let out a soft laugh.

On the one hand, things were exactly as they’d left it, unchanging in the more than twenty years since she’d first come to this magical place. Now though, the circumstances of her visit were very different. She was no longer a little lost girl en route to one remarkable but fleeting summer. Instead she was an exhausted but elated mother of four trying to wrangle her kids to a few weeks of well-deserved summer beach time.

“But how much longer will it be, Mommy?”

The question came from her youngest daughter, Leia, who at five years old was precocious and adventurous but not exactly patient. Leia loved life and was a very happy child, but when she had to wait, as she had in this hours long car ride… well things could get dodgy quickly. Emma tried to craft a response that would suffice. They were very close, but at the same time, rewarding Leia’s impatient questions was never in any of their best interest.

“Leia, what do you want to do first when we get there? I was thinking we should swim in the pool. You could show everyone your new vest.”

The words of encouragement and distraction came from their eldest son, Jack, and Emma let out a sigh of relief at his handling of this. Jack was brilliant at picking up on energy. He’d always been observant, and at fourteen he was the oldest of the Jones children. He might not technically share any DNA with her or Killian, but he was still a carbon copy of her husband. They had the same dark hair and similar features, but it was their manner and personalities that were most alike. Killian and Jack were caregivers and guardians. The most important thing to them was protecting their family and doing right by the people they loved. In the end, it made absolutely no difference to any of them that Jack had come to them through a different means than Leia and the others. He was as much a Jones as anyone of them, their first child in every way, as they’d had Jack since he was six and placed in foster care. Back then, Killian worked on a case involving Jack’s placement, but it was Emma who took one look at their son and knew that he was meant to be their family. By that time she and Killian had been married a few years and had already discussed their want to adopt, and they were ready for the challenge. Luckily though, Jack proved no challenge at all. Their son was quiet but loving, gentle and kind, but mostly he was smart, both with books and with people.

“He’ll be a hell of a man some day,” Killian whispered to Emma as Leia chattered on with Jack about her want to see the beach, collect shells, and build sandcastles. Emma smiled in response to her husband’s apt assessment, but was precluded from answering when their eldest daughter replied to Killian first.

“Dad said a bad word. That’s two bucks for the college fund.”

Eight-year-old Hope didn’t so much as glance up from her book as she said the words and both Emma and Killian laughed at her matter-of-fact tone. Killian had whispered low enough that no one should be able to hear, but Hope had a gift. When there was a chance to catch her parents at something or to reap a decent reward, their daughter was a true hawk. She’d been doing this forever, and Emma was prone to thinking this was an inherited trait. Hope was, in many ways, what Emma might have been if she’d been blessed with family. She was confident and sure and always honest. She had a thorough sense of right and wrong, and, as it happened, perfect comedic timing.

“Sorry, lass,” Killian replied, catching her eye in the rearview mirror. Emma turned around to look at Hope who spared them a brief look and a pleased smile.

“Don’t be sorry, Dad. I just made two bucks.”

Again they laughed, but then the car’s slight moment of quiet was interrupted with a loud and happy squeal from their youngest, Leo. Their baby boy had been somewhat of a surprise, with Emma thinking she had birth control totally covered, but sometimes the universe had other plans, and thank God it did. At just about a year, Leo was healthy and happy and another true joy in their lives. Oh he was a certifiable rascal to be sure, causing complete mayhem when crawling or walking anywhere and everywhere, but Emma knew they were totally blessed in the sweet tempers and real goodness that all four of their children shared.

“Yeah, Leo, we’re almost there. Right Mommy?” Leia asked and Emma hummed out a sound of agreement.

“Just about. Look out your window, honey and you’ll see it in 3…2…1.”

Sure enough the trees gave way at that moment to Benjen’s grand estate and immediately all the kids cheered. Emma made to cover her ears from the onslaught of sound, but despite the noise, she was too happy to care. As much as the kids loved this place, Emma and Killian loved it too, and she knew that the next two weeks would be filled with the best parts of summer and family and fun.

As expected, the lot of them were quickly greeted by many of their favorite people. Uncle Benjen and Eleanor were first, and though it had been years since they’d married, Emma always smiled at how Killian’s first instinct was to call her Mrs. Potts. Each time his Uncle would correct him, calling her Mrs. Jones, and it resulted in the sweetest moment between two older people who were very much in love. This trip they were also here with Liam and his family, his wife Elsa, and their three kids, Ayana, Hunter, and Claire. This chance to hang out with their cousins brought joy to every Jones child, and for Emma and Killian it meant that there might _actually_ be more time for just the two of them. It would be foolish to count on that, considering how little free time parents of four ever managed to find, but between Benjen and Eleanor and Liam and Elsa, Emma could imagine a few possible date nights with her husband that could be enjoyed in the coming days.

“So I think we’ve finally done it,” Liam said excitedly as he tossed little Leia up on his shoulder at her request. Emma listened to her daughter’s infectious giggles at the attention from her Uncle as Liam continued on. “I think we’ve finally filled the unfillable house.”

“Oh Liam, how wrong you are, my dear,” Eleanor said, taking Claire by the hand as they all headed inside. “We’ve filled two wings, but the west wing is still totally empty.”

“Well you heard that, love, we best get busy on filling the rest of the rooms,” Liam said to his wife and Elsa rolled her eyes, shoving at him playfully but blushing all the same.

Emma and Elsa shared a knowing look. If things were up to either of the Jones men they’d each have half a dozen children at least, but the broods they already had seemed big enough. Emma had only actually had three of her babies herself and that felt like enough, but she did sense that another adoption might be somewhere in their future. She and Killian never said as much aloud, but it was understood that if another child in need found their way to them, they would make room without any hesitation. Elsa, on the other hand, might pretend to be put off, but she’d definitely be persuaded to have a few more children of her own. Emma’s sister-in-law adored her children, after all, and she had made being their Mom her full-time job.

Emma respected that choice, and she too spent as much time with her kids as she possibly could, but she hadn’t let her work go completely. Oh she was finished with being a bail bonds person, realizing that the danger and the chase held nothing of real value to her anymore, but now she worked with Killian and his partners in one focused, but critically important area: tracking teen runaways. Despite Killian and many others in their city working hard to change the system and provide safe spaces for all children in their area, there were still many kids who felt the dangers of the streets were preferable to a group home or their grim realities of their home lives. Emma felt for those kids, knowing that she had faced a similar sense of grief, fear, and alienation. Her work now was in tracking these kids down, and when she did, she made sure that she and Killian advocated for their care and their safety in every possible way. So far this year she’d managed to find twelve young people, eight girls and four boys, and she was proud to say that every single one was doing much better. Through counseling, special programs, and safe homing, they were all being given another shot. That being said there were plenty more kids out there who still needed their help, and Emma knew that as long as she had a gift for finding people, she would never turn her back on that need.

“I know you want to save the whole world, love, but we promised two weeks of no worries, remember?”

Killian’s question came as his arms wrapped around her waist and he pulled her back against him. Emma closed her eyes, soaking in the strength of her favorite person and partner. All this time together and she still never got used to how right it felt when he held her close. It truly was is if they were two pieces to one whole, but with their love she never felt herself slipping away. They were perfect compliments, but still their own independent and unique people.

“I remember. But seeing how _hard_ it will be to not worry, maybe you could give me some incentive?”

Emma backed up ever so slightly to tease her husband and his low growl reverberated through her and sent a lush thrill through her body. Her eyes flashed to the kids who were all fixated on their cousins and their grandparents and then she turned around to look at him. The hunger in his gaze was rivaled only by his admiration, and she trembled with her own want building for this beautiful man.

“Kids!” Killian called, breaking eye contact to look over at their clan. “Your mum and I are taking a walk. Heed the grands and your aunt and uncle until we get back.”

“Aye, aye captain!” Jack, Leia, and Hope all exclaimed, partaking in a years long family joke about Killian running this family like a captain on a ship. Even little Leo tried to get in on the action, saluting like his siblings as Uncle Benjen held him close.

Killian nodded to the adults and Emma looked at them all before shrugging, as if she had no idea why her willful husband would steal her away like this, but she totally knew, and so did they. He moved to the car and quickly grabbed a picnic blanket she had stowed away ages ago, and her heart skipped at why exactly he would bring that now. Her desire for the moment only grew as Killian took her hand and led her back through the winding path and towards the glen where they were married. Emma thought not for the first time how perfectly situated this place was. It was close enough that if the needed to rush back they could, but far enough away to be out of sight and out of earshot from the others.

When they made it to the meadow, Emma was not surprised but still delighted at the flowers that were in bloom, coloring the emerald green grass with pops of purple and blue and white. They were the height of summer wildflowers, standards in this oasis, and familiar to her now after years of coming back. On a day like today where the heat of the sun was strong and enduring, it made the fragrance hanging in the air all the sweeter. The light wind through the trees cooled her skin enough to be comfortable, but nothing could tamp down the yearning she felt for this alone time with her husband.

“If history holds, we’ve got roughly an hour before the kids go feral and make a break away,” Killian said, spreading out the blanket and pulling her down to the ground on a soft patch of earth with an overgrown maple behind them.

“A whole hour? Do you really think we need that?” she joked, and damn did it pay off. No sooner had the teasing words left her lips then her husband was on her with a possessive, demanding hold designed to make her dizzy with even more need.

Even after all this time the way he kissed her fueled her fire, his hands and lips tracing rough and gentle lines across her skin made her pant in the summer sun. It felt so good to be claimed this way, and the sensation of it all left her breathless. With frenzied anticipation she tasted his kisses, feeling his lips trail down her jaw and her neck, nipping and soothing as they went. He toyed with her breasts, tormenting her with things she wanted so badly, but by the time he licked at her aching flesh, she was mindless. Her eyes closed as she felt every perfect press and pull, she was so close, so sure she’d break from how good it felt, and then he hummed against her sex and told her to let go. When she did she broke apart in a million pieces, but came back together more alive and rejuvenated than ever before.

“I love how good you love me,” Emma said, not sure if she made sense, but knowing Killian took her meaning as he kissed his way back up her skin. He’d mangled up her sundress, pulling the straps down low and pushing the skirt up high, but he only seemed to love her state of mess. If anything, the expression in his gaze said that her man was perfectly happy with her just exactly as she was.

“We were meant for this, Emma, meant for everything,” he said, coming up above her and bringing his hard length to her entrance. She moved her legs to take him and they both moaned aloud when he plunged in, filling her completely. “This is exactly where I’m mean to be. This is happiness made real.”

Emma agreed in every way, and as they came together first slow and steady and then fast and hard, she let how right this was wash over her. She always knew that this was fated, but it still felt like magic to experience this with him. Crashing into bliss was heaven itself, and even as they both came down from their high, holding onto each other, and drawing lazy lines along each other’s skin with nothing but the tips of their fingers, Emma smiled. She knew she must be glowing right now, for nothing could contain how truly joyous that she was to have this man, and their beautiful life together.

“Part of me wishes we could stay like this forever,” Emma murmured, pressing a kiss to his neck and feeling against her lips the gentle beat of his pulse.

“Aye, me too,” he whispered. “But the other part, a greater part, knows that what’s coming is somehow even better than this.”

Emma agreed whole heartedly, and she knew he meant that their life and their kids was all a part of their happily ever after. They had each other, yes, and Emma knew they always would, but they also had so much more now. Their world was so much bigger, so much grander, and their love, as a result, was just as giant and all consuming.

“We’re lucky to have had this long already,” Emma said, bestowing on her husband a final kiss as she straightened herself out and rose to her feet. Killian’s eyes tracked her, appraising her motions, but soon he joined her, getting himself together and gathering the blanket to take back with them again. Soon enough they set back to the house, both of them eager to see the kids and enjoy the day. With the weather this nice, they’d likely hit the beach and have a cook out, ringing in the summer in the best possible way, but just when she could see the house again, Killian stopped, his hand holding her steady and halting her motion.

“Everything all right?” she asked and Killian nodded, but let go of her hand, walking towards the edge of the trail. Emma didn’t know what he was after, but when he pulled back around and offered it to her she smiled. Leave it to her husband to find a wild rose in the middle of nowhere. She should have expected such a gesture – seeing as how Killian had filled her life with these tiny, perfect gifts for years now.

With steady hands he took the flower and placed it behind her ear, making her feel like a young girl again as he looked at her with unadulterated love. She knew it was sappy, and maybe a little corny, but she didn’t care. With this man she felt like a princess, a goddess, and like the most important person in this world and the rest.

“It takes my breath away each day, love,” he whispered as he cupped her cheek, running his thumb along the corner of her lips.

“What does?”

“How much I love you. Every day I fall a little more, and every day I’m glad as hell to do it.”

Unable to help herself, Emma moved against him for another kiss, but this time they were spotted, and, as expected, her kids feigned disgust at an open display between them of their love for each other. In typical fashion Killian told them to get over it, before grabbing little Leo and Leia and engaging with the others in their selected summer game. He was the best kind of father, and the kids loved him so much that it made Emma’s eyes water up with tears. She watched them for a moment, just a few seconds strung together, but in that span of time she let herself know the truth of her charmed life – she was the luckiest woman in the world, and as long as she had her family, she always, always would be.

**_Post-Note: So there we have it! I know the chapter is shorter than all the others, but I hope that you will all forgive that and enjoy this fluffiness for what it is meant to be – a sweet, fun send off to a story that means so much to me. It’s always hard to say goodbye to a cute fic like this, but I do so knowing that this is where I always pictured this story winding up. I also am comforted by the fact that I have not one, not two, but three new stories I am currently working on. So keep an eye out in the coming months for some new fics from me that will carry this same cute, fluffy energy. Thanks again so much for reading and hope you all have a great rest of your day!!_ **


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